What Would You Tell Rihanna?
March 12, 2009 by Cherie Burbach
Filed under Women's Health
People are buzzing these days about the pop singer Rihanna and her boyfriend Chris Brown. Brown has been charged with assaulting Rihanna. Soon after the incident, she apparently got back together with him.
Rihanna has become the public face for domestic abuse, as her story is all-too common. According to one source, domestic violence, “is the most common cause of injury to women ages 15-44.”
Suffering abuse is bad enough. But it also changes the way women behave in relationships from that point forward. If women stay in a bad relationship, they are “likely to stop trusting their own perceptions and become passive” in everything from friendships to relationships.
The effects of abuse don’t end when the physical violence stops. Women need to remove themselves from these types of situations, and most of all they need to know that they didn’t do a thing to deserve them. Nothing. Women typically second-guess themselves and try to accommodate, so it’s their nature to want to please and get along. But they need to work against this instinct, and value their worth.
Rihanna, this beautiful and talented young women, needs to know her worth. If you could give Rihanna a message right now, what would it be?
I would tell her that love doesn’t include punches to the face nor bit marks on the fingers or ears. Love doesn’t make you “walk on eggshells” wondering what will set him off next time.
Because she doesn’t have the financial worry most women do, I would tell her to go to a retreat and work on herself for a few months. She needs to love herself and know that she doensn’t need to be treated like this.
I speak, unfortunately, from experience.
Anne,
Thanks for your comment. You are absolutely right and I’m glad that you are able to share a little bit of your experience to help other young women in the same situation.