What you say, what the anorexic hears
May 22, 2008 by angelique
Filed under Women's Health
If you know someone who is suffering from a case of anorexia, you might inadvertently trigger her deeper into her disease by saying something that she interprets much differently than you might expect.
It’s kind of like there’s an “Ana Filter” between an anorexic’s eyes, ears and brain. Everything she sees and hears becomes skewed toward holding onto the disorder.
From my own experiences, I’d like to share with you what the anorexic “hears” when you make innocuous (or seemingly thoughtful) comments:
WHAT YOU SAY: “You look so thin!”
WHAT THE ANOREXIC HEARS: “You are beautiful and I’m jealous!”
WHAT YOU SAY: “I’m glad to see you’ve put on a little weight — you were getting way too thin!”
WHAT THE ANOREXIC HEARS: “You’re fat. Stop eating.”
WHAT YOU SAY: “Eat something — you make me worried when you sit there and just drink water.”
WHAT THE ANOREXIC HEARS: “You need to do a better job of hiding how little you’re eating.”
WHAT YOU SAY: “You’re so selfish. Can’t you just snap out of this? Eating disorders are all in your mind.”
WHAT THE ANOREXIC HEARS: “You don’t deserve to eat or be happy. Ever.”
Caveat: Please don’t use this as an excuse NOT to discuss a friend or family member’s eating disorder with him or her. Saying nothing is worse than trying to start a dialogue, especially with eating disorders having an incredibly high mortality rate.
So now we know what NOT to say, but how do we know what we can say to help them?