When a Good Kid Goes Bad
It’s no big secret that I have twin boys. All these years, everyone thought they had the boys personalities pegged and could tell the type of kids they would be and even the type of adults they would become. Even I am guilty of entertaining such thoughts from time to time.
It’s not so much that the good kid has gone bad really. It’s more that the good kid is being influenced by some of his friends at school.
When the boys were in first grade, I had to make the painful decision to separate them. I had to hold one back while the other moved on to second grade. I thought I was doing the best thing, placing the passive twin in the position of not being able to use the aggressive twin as a crutch and to copy his work - but rather to develop his own individuality.
After holding him back, I’d never experienced any further difficulties with him. He was good, kind hearted, thoughtful and even tempered. I really thought he was ‘the good twin,’ as I’d often joked.
I’m really eating my words now!
I can’t say I’m surprised by the events that have unfolded in the last couple of days, but I can say that I am surprised that my sons actions have taken a turn at school, much like they have here at home.
For the last several months, I’ve seen a decline in my sons behavior and overall attitude. All he talks about is skateboarding. Every time anyone asks him anything at all about himself, he wants to discuss SKATEBOARDING! It’s like he has little existence outside of that darn board. And he’s not even that good on it! I’m not in to broken bones, concussions and the like.
I received word from school that my son is now cheating on his assignments and that the particular group of friends he’s hanging with at school are being disruptive, disrespectful and well, complete idiots!
I honestly don’t know how to handle this situation - but I’ve established a solid communication with the school, my sons teachers and if I have to communicate with them every single day to monitor my sons behavior at school, I will.
I’m not blaming his actions entirely on the group he’s running around with, but I do believe it’s the combination of the boys in this group that’s creating the toxic behavior. I believe the more they have in their group, the stronger and more disruptive they become. It’s my intent to remove at least one element in the recipe for destruction and hopefully cause the entire structure to crumble.
One can hope!
Parents, if you have any advice or experiences in the area, please feel free to share. I could really use the insight right now.
Tags: parenting, teens, behavior, peer pressure, disruptive teens
Gayla its understandable to see where you are coming from but i don’t think skateboarding is to blame. Being in the skateboarding business for 3 years now as well as being a skater myself i have seen this all to often kids get hooked and the sport is growing so fast its everywhere. I think its the job of the parent to keep a healthy balance of a child’s passions equal to those of their responsibility’s. Skateboarding today has the ability to offer a healthy career as long as one knows it is a physical sport and a fall back plan isn’t such a bad idea. Pro skaters today don’t just skate, their company owners, marketers, and team managers for large corporate teams. With all this said i guess what im trying to say is that for a child healthy moderation and exposure to all possibilities key. http://www.boardstorm.com
Gayla, You do have a right as a parent to communicate with your sons teachers along with the other parents of the kids they hang with. Consequences are key too, if they are being disruptive in school take away his board, in return for good behavior by the end of the year offer to buy him a brand new one
@ John - I’m sure it’s not the Skateboarding that’s causing it, it’s the poor image that has been impressed on our local kids as to what Skateboarders are.
Perhaps businesses like yours shedding a light on the productive adults many have become would alter the impression and influence this sport is having on teens today. Thanks so much for your comment. I showed it to my son!
@ Char - Thanks for your effort to recruit some advice. I can use all the advice I can get.
@ Mommad - I like the solution you present. I’d always thought about taking the board away and giving it back, but never offering a NEW one at the end of the year.
I see by the date of this post that it’s been a while. I’d like to know how things are going now? How did the school year play out?