When should kids start dating?
When I was growing up, my father made it VERY clear that I was not going to start dating until I was 16 and not a single day before!
The issue was never pushed. I knew he meant business.
Once I did reach the age of 16 and was able to start dating, it was nearly impossible to have a social life, because word of my strict dad spread quickly around our school.
All it took was ONE date to ruin my social life and teen dating career, but looking back, I’m glad my dad did what he did.
The boy pulled in the drive to pick me up and dad was ready for him. When the boy knocked on the door, my dad greeted him – just as any father of a teenage girl would. It’s no wonder teen boys are so darned nervous when they start dating. Back to what I was saying… Dad introduced himself and laid out the ground rules for dating his daughter.
I was to be home at 11:00 PM and not one single minute late. To insure that we were on the same time, dad asked if the boy had a watch. If he didn’t have one, dad kindly provided him one that was set according to our clocks.
Dad then took a walk out to check out the car I would be riding in. The air in the tires were checked, the gas gauge checked to insure there was enough gas to get us where we were going and back. Then the boy was asked to start the car so dad could hear it run.
Once that was all said and done, if the boy was still around, I was then permitted to go on my date.
At the time I was horrified by my father’s behavior, but in hindsight, I don’t think I would have had it any other way.
I eventually did marry the first boy my parents ever let me date without giving him the third degree. He’s always been my parents favorite — even to this day.
It’s funny, all these years later, on our second first date, that same boy that was terrified to date my fathers daughter still held apprehensions of dating her, twenty years later.
Now that I’ve taken my stroll down memory lane, what do you think about dating? Is there a set age? Or is it maturity? If maturity, do you honestly believe that a 14 or 15-year-old can be mature enough to date? And if so, are they allowed to date someone who drives?
I’m curious to hear from others on this topic. And just how your own growing up and dating has influenced your decision today?
Tags: teens dating, dating, raising teenagers, parenting teens
Now, I’m young. I’m allowed to date as often as I like, and for fourteen, I’m quite amazed at my freedom.
My father of course isn’t too strict when it comes to boys taking me places, just as to when we return and where I’ll be and to call.
Though I sometimes am a little taken aback at my power at hand, I understood why my mother let me. She instilled strong morals and let me choose and express. She trusted me, and I valued that.
I feel as though setting an age for dating just calls for lack of trust. Maturity has no exact age, it probably all depends on the child.
Thanks for commenting. I think maturity has a lot to do with this decision. However, I know 18 year olds that aren’t mature enough to drive let alone consider relationships.
My dad will not let me start dating until i am in the 9th grade. But i am telling him that all my friends can date in the 8th grade. So i was talking to my aunt and she has 3 sons and they are the same age as me, but they can date so she suggested that i just sneek out, and say i am going to the movies and the mall with my friends. But the think is i dont like sneeking and the already give 50% of freedom i just would like 100% of freedom. What advice or what should i do.
Love your post about teens and dating.
I’m 12. There are 2 couples in my grade. Truth be told, I’m not ready to date. I haven’t even gotten my period. Do you guys think 12 is too young to date? (I do!!!)
im 12. i have a boyfriend and i have not gotten my period yet. there see…it doesnt really matter how old you are to date…it just matters if you r mature enough. and btw…well you see…we havent really dated yet, we just hang out after school and make out. end of story
i started dating wen i was 3 but its not lik its a big deal dating isnt a serious thing but i guess it depends if ur comfortable with boys yet.
Kelly, do NOT sneak out… probably too late now, but for others… this will only give your parents less trust in you and therefore more restrictions. They do sometimes pick up on stuff you don’t think they will… Anyway, what’s one more year? I know it seems like a long time, but you will be glad you waited. BTW, why risk getting in major trouble for a guy who could end up being a total jerk? Even if he isn’t, and if you guys get TOO close, whatcha gonna do? I’ve heard of some 12 and 13 year old moms, but did you know that almost 80% of unmarried teen moms end up living on Welfare?
For Lackaday, the kids in your grade are starting too early. They probably are together fo 1 of 3 reasons: a) they like the attention they get; b) they like the “butterflies” in their stomach and the feelings they get while together; or c) they have a serious relationship, have funds available to start a family and to support the other, and are planning for the future. C is very unlikely. Don’t start dating unless you are ready for a serious relationship. If it’s just to get to know the other, do something with a group, and don’t get “intimate”.
I am 13 and my mother is way to overprotective. It seems like i am the only prude girl in my grade and i dont know what to do. I want to obey my mom and wait until i am “16″, but that’s way too far away. I really like this guy and i have liked him for the longest time. I just found out that he likes me too. Should i just ignore what my mom says and do what i want, or should i listen to her and wait until I am older?
Mary i am 11 years old and my first boyfriend i hade i was 10 almost 11. I never asked my mom when i could start dating it just happened a boy i really liked asked me out and i said yes. When i came home from school i told me mom i had a boyfriend she gave me that look out the corner of her eye i knew she wasn’t happy but the next day she was perfectly fine with it. BUT I SO WISH I WOULD HAD NEVER STARTING DATING RIGHT KNOW I JUST COULD KICK MY SELF IN THE B*** I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH HATE MY SELF I WISH I WOULD OF WAITED UGG IM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAD AT MY SELF good luck do what your GUT says
i have a some close guy friends and i cant do ANYTHING with them without my parents saying Tammy i dont like those boys… or Tammy i dont know them! NO u cant date them… or even awwwwwwww u like him and NO u cant date…
im 13 and ii dont think age matters if your in love what do u do about it. If u end up breaking up then we get over it….i know most wont agree with me but if your in love your in love
but i just hate not being able to have boy…(friends) but then have my parents freak out about them
I am 11 years old I like a boy and he likes me. We kissed he wants me to goout on a doble date with my best friend and his best friend. My Mom started dateing when she was 11 too. What should I do
Zoe, you’re too young and your mom was too.
Oh whell! I love him. My Mom had me when she was 18. i don`t care
l have this guy l always admire want to talk to him regarding my feelings but he is the type that ladies goes around him.my parent notice it.but dn`t give a damn about them.
need an urgent reply bcos l cant wait to meet him and he his 3years younger than l am.am 18
Boy, you Americans… Or at least that’s what I assume. I’m 17 years old boy from somewhere in Northern-Eastern Europe but haven’t gone out on a single date. I’m not very social type of person but this makes me nervous. My mom says there is never too late and I shouldn’t worry but I’m still puzzled. I’m not the geeky-glasses-computer-guy, though it is hard for me to go out in public. It is natural for older guys to date younger girls here but I can’t seem to find any suitable girl anyway (delete that, there’s plenty). It feels to be sort of an outcast in my class whatsoever. And in my state, I obviously can’t afford to be picky.
i think u all should jst wait till ur parents say u can!
I think u should date when your ready
Zoe, I love your name. Your name means life. Life is a wonderful gift from God. please don’t throw it away! Jesus wants your heart, and I believe he caused me to stumble across this article just to tell you this.
Even at 18, that is seven years away! that’s more than half your life! You are so young. Right now, you don’t even know what love is, and you won’t until you know the love of Jesus. the Bible tells us that there is no greater love than a man who will give his life for his friend. Are you willing to die for this boy?
Zoe, Jesus died a terrible death on the cross so that you could have the choice to follow him, or not. The Romans, who were the people who put Jesus to death, beat him until he didn’t even look like man!
Imagine, that you murdered someone. the cops cought you and you know that you are going to be killed for killing that person. But then, I decided to take the punishment for you. I tell the Judge that I killed the person. Then they kill me instead of you, and you get to go free. That is kind of what Jesus did for you. You and I have sinned. Sin is something wrong that goes against what God tells us to do. For example, God says to honor your parents. you honor your parents by obeying them. I know that I have disobeyed my parents before!!! That means that I was guilty and worthy of going to hell. But Jesus took my sin away when he died on the cross. Iwas worthy of dying, but Jesus died instead of me.
I hope this helps you.
To zoe and everyone else:
I am 17 and an American. I do not believe in dating at all. To see Zoe’s comments break my heart. There are so any girls who are WAY TO YOUNG to be mothers, like 12 or 13, and yet they are. So many girls are giving away peices of there hearts to any guy who comes along, and what they don’t realize is that when tey do finally get married, there is a part of them that their husbands can never have, and it effects the rest of their life and marriage. Dating is pretty much practice for divorce. You “hook up, fuss up, and break up” then it starts all over again. Marriage is abut battling through thos hardships! Staying together till death do us part. How does dating support that? My dad is very protective of me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My dad knows how guys think, and he knows if he is just along for the rie, or if he has a genuine interest in me.
With my dad’s help, I will find a genuine man who is ready to support a family, and I will have a beautiful marriage and be able to give my husband my whole heart. I will be able to avoid all of the heartbreak and
I would be more than happy to talk to any of you regarding this matter. I would really like to talk to you Zoe. Just email me. amberschamel@yahoo.com.
I really think that girls should wait. It is not only the respect you have for you parents to obey them IF they are strict about you dating but the respect you have for yourself… The most important thing to me in my opinion is respect.. No matter what if you do not respect yourself how can anyone else. 11 IS WAY TO YOUNG to date.. If you are needing attention.. there are better ways to get it than with a boy especially if he is older than you. PLEASE be careful. Get involved with sports activitie, what do you like, what are your hobbies??? Just have fun and be a kid. Im not sure of the point daughter of zion is trying to express but in my PERSONAL opinion and from experience…. wait…. I did have my son at 16, I only have so much room to talk. But Please respect yourself, know who you are and have fun with friends … dating to soon is just almost like delaying your growth as a child/teen to become a responsible adult who knows what they want and who they want to share their valuable time with. I hope this makes sense.
If I was a parent I wouldn’t allow my kids to start dating until age 15.I believe that the girls in a family should start dating in order of age and that the boys should wait until all the girls have dated or until age 25.
I am 11 and i KNOW that I am too young to start dating, however, I have a crush and would like to know if she likes me back. So, I would LIKE to start dating but I cannot. I am, however, allowed to have a girlfriend.
Hey im 11 this girl asked me out and long story short she aked me out about 19 times in 30 min she said shes dumping her old boyfriend and we can do out i kinda like her too ( shes my age) what do you think?
i say you should say no cuz if you say yes you guys will just hangout/date for like a couple of months then either you will have too break her heart or she will break your heart and after that you will just be kicking your self in the b***. i have only had 1 boyfriend and we dated for 7 months i thought this will be a everlasting relisonship(sorry not the best speller) but it ended up he broke me HEART it was so hard yo get over so i wish you the best of luck
yes that is true brittany
but thats life
a first relationship when your at a young age usually doesnt last
but in life it happens
everything happens for a reason and god made it that way because he has something better for
Im 14 and i would be dating but…there are no girls in my school that like anime and stuff like i do so all the girls go for the stuck up jocks. It just sucks
I HATE YOU ADULTS SOOO MUCHH!!!! all u do is talk about how we don’t know what love is. if you love someone you shouldn’t be forced to keep it inside thats so dumb. how the fuck do you know what goes on in my mind. stop putting ages on maturity. seriously i’m only 13 and i date and it’s not a problem at all.
I’m 12 and I recken that kides shood be alaowd to date.
I am almost 15 and I am in 9th grade. For some reason I don’t feel ready to date. There are boys I like ( like have a crush on) but I don’t want to date. I don’t know what my parents would think or do because I never dated. People have asked to go out with me but I didn’t and still don’t feel ready. why am I so weird and not ready at 15?!?!?!?
when you are ready you will start dating do not rush anything just let it take some time i you start and you were not ready you will just want to kick your self TRUST ME SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME
i am like pissed off k? i am 11 and in 6th grade and i like this kid and he likes me back(i think he is giving hints) i am too shy and so is he i can
‘t ask him and i blush around him
just let him make the first move you just wait he will evencaly come around TRUST ME SAME THING HAPPENED HERE
i forgot to menchione(spelling) HELLLLPPP!!!
Spice, you’re so eager to go out with this kid, but you can’t even spell properly. Please, you are in no way ready to go out. Forget this guy, (you’ll probably never even see him again after elemtary school ends) and just wait until you’re older to ask someone out.
i like this boy at school and i don’t know if he like’s me so please help!!!!!!!!1
Hi, wow..I say 13 or 14 is the age teens should start dating. My mom never talks to me about this stuff. I’m 13 and honestly tons of kids at my school are dating. Also, I agree that 11 years old is too young. I remember when I was in 5th grade or 6th everyone was dating..but honestly you’re not really in a relationship because you don’t understand what a real relationship is..it’s more like who ever has a bf/gf is popular..you know?
i know im young but my mum trusts me my theory is that if you are in love your in love you cant help it. its natural.
and if a person my age is going out doesnt mean there popular it just means they are both in love and kids these days like 11 or 12 yr olds know what love is and what love is about i know we are young but it doesnt make a difference it all depends on if you know your in love and willing to put the other person first if u do truly love them.
for example i love my cousins friend when i first saw him i thought yeh he looks nice but when i got to know him i just felt like my heart was beeting 100 miles a minute. and when i look in his eyes it feels like my heart has flown away up into heaven and i would love to be with him and love him.
so i think it matters on if the positivly know they are in love and matture enough no one should have a set age to dateit all depends on love and maturity
OMG OMFG i totally agree. yea like seriously i really really like this guy (whos my bf) and i love him more than anyone in my life or ever did. im so willing to die for him…cuz he’s so…so…you really dont wanna know its a whole essay
im 10 and im dating an 11 year old theres nothing wrong its not like were going 2 do any thing all we really do is talk and hug and hold handz
Well im 11 and im dating this boy and im relli shy and he is too and yeh 11 yr olds don get serious bout the whole thing we just wana b with the ppl we like in a more advanced way lol luv ya all xox bye I hope u agree
I TOOTALY AGREE WITH YOU I HOPE YOU GIVE MORE GOOD AND HELPFUL ADVIVICE ROCK ON TOU GO GIRL P.S. LOVE THE NAME
alright im dating a girl and she lives in another town and goes to another school and were in the 6th grade i was wondering is this a bad way to start dating considering shes my first girl friend and i reeeeeealy like her the only reason im posting this is cause my parents dont want me dating yet…but all my friends do so i dont see the problem
btw what would u say love is? u always say u know what it is and ive asked but nobody ever gives me a reasonable answer!!! they’re all useless boring speeches my parents say and anyone else i ask say “ask your parents” so i take it u guys dont know so i say u shouldnt be judging to harshly!!!
O.K, let me set some facts straight:
1.I love a girl, she loves me, we are boyfriend and girlfriend.
2.We are dating.
3.I have to go to Minnesota for the rest of June, and she has to go to Mexico until June 27th (we miss eachother already.)
4.We’ve kissed, hugged, and held hands.
5.She writes me letters everyday.
6.We both know what love is
7.She’s my first girlfriend
And guess how old we are?
If you guessed 11, you guessed correctly and probably actually understand kids like me!
If you guessed 15-18, your a Fundementalist, Republican, Jesus-addict, poor excuse of a human who doesn’t know anything about love!
aha dude ur brilliant. seriously i’ve seen a lot of “jesus- addicts” here lol. age doesnt really matter like really wtf. im 12 and i have a bf and we’re everything you listed (except of course the trip) ya i said it! lmao
If you are eleven, I seriously doubt that you know what true love is.
I am 12 and I am a boy, I will be in 8th grade after summer break. I will be 13 in October. Mt parents haven’t mentioned anything about dating though. I wouldn’t mind having a boyfriend or girlfriend. I think it would be pleasant to have a small relationship. Albiet I would not go past hugging, holding hands, and maybe and occasional kiss.
I agree w/ David. I’m 11 and dating this guy and we are cool.
i’m alowed 2 date and i’m 11
I am looking for a date
I an 12 years old and don’t have eney one
I’m only twelve and I think that relationships are silly at this age. I think that “love” isn’t just physical – it really is willing to die for the person you love, and when you are at such a tender age (like…. uhm, <14 or something like that) you can’t exactly wrap your mind around life and death. If you have a crush on someone, then go see a movie with them or something grand, but as friends. I know people at my school who have had sex and are my age or younger. Eww, just shows how much dating when you’re young can lead to.
All in all, before I write you a novel here, I think people should start truly dating once they’re around 14 or a few months before.
I really like this guy Camden and I think I’m gonna ask him out on a group date. We are in all classes together, except 1.
Where should our group go? (I’m twelve) my parents think its my girlfriends, not guys too!
If you ask me, your all wrong.
you should NOT date at 10 or 11 because you confuse infatuation with love.you think your gonna get married but in reality your gonna get bored in like a week and then youll be on to your next “love.” yeah i know, cause ive been 10 and ive felt that love feeling a hundred times. i was wrong. and im over it. i think that if your not ready to have sex then your not ready to date, and you should never date anybody that you wouldnt fuck, and you should never fuck someone your not dating. ive been there, and it sucks. it sucks to have feelings for someone who doesnt give two shits about you. anyway i think high school is a good time for dating. yeah it probly wont last but you need the experience, and you need to get familiar with the opposite sex. thats really important. my mom waited til she was 18 to date and was unfamilar with guys’ tricks. like how they tend to pretend to like you so they can get into your pants? anyway she ended up marrying my dad after 6 months. he kinda pretended to be someone else, but when they married his true colors were shown. turns out he was a drug addict.. well now 20 years later they are divorced and guess which one is alone and miserable, and which one is happy with his new girlfriend? well the one that didnt wait so long to start dating is the happy one. coincidence? perhaps.
Well i would say between 14 to 16 is the best time to begin. but thats just me. The decision is up to you. dont do it or not do it because of the bible, or because of what other people are doing. did you notice how many people think that everyone else is dating but them? a lot. and chances are thats not even true. just follow your heart, you can figure it out.
I’ve been talking to a guy for 8 months now, and I’m ready to become serious with him. However, He is 3 years older than me, and I’m not sure how to approach my dad with the situation. I’m 13 and he’s 16. What do I do?
It’s just wrong for 10 year olds to be saying that they are in love or even talk about love. I am almost thirteen and I have no desire to date until I am at least fourteen.
Just because some of your parents dated young, doesn’t mean you should. Ever heard the saying Learn from your mistakes? Well, trust me, in this case – learn from your parent’s mistakes.
I know it is awkward but sit down and talk to your parents about dating, talk to them about what they would have done differently in their dating days and learn from them. Remember, you can go to your parents for anything. The only way to prove to your parents that you are ready to date is by trusting yourself to make the right, responsible, descisions and eventually your parents will trust you enough to make the right desicion on your own. By going to your parents for advice you are proving that you trust in their choices and will, in return, trust you.