When the Ex Bitches
February 17, 2008 by Sasha Manuel
Filed under Relationships
Oh, you’ll come across some women who are exes themselves who will bitch about the guy you’re seeing or even you, the current girlfriend, even when they claim they are in “happy” relationships now. To what purpose, you ask? Several but not one of them are good and valid reasons.
She’s insecure.
The fact that she’s trying to stay up to date on the current life of her ex would mean she wants some sort of reassurance that she’s “better off” but once she “bitches” about it, signifies that she’s not satisfied with who she is and where she’s at right now (or who she’s with). Hence, the need to put him down to make her feel better.
She’s envious.
Due to her dissatisfaction, the need to bash or “bitch” is a defense mechanism to mask her feeling of want. The bitching is brought about by a competitive nature that arose after the break up. It’s either a “keeping up with the Joneses” type or the need to always blatantly remind people around her that she’s “better off”.
She’s self-righteous.
I can’t help but say that it’s such a hypocritical thing to do. Sure, she can point out how grossly used she was when she was with her ex but she did “love” the other person, right? If she truly loved the other person, shouldn’t she be happy for him if he’s happy now? If she continues to point out his flaws (to other people at that) on why they aren’t together anymore, are you also highlighting your short-comings? A problem will always involve at least two people, don’t you agree?
She’s not over him.
If she still talks about him (esp if she talks about his past and current relationships) but claims she’s happy with who she’s with right now, then she’s one poor little girl who’s in denial.
She’s bloody stupid.
Why? If she claims that she’s never anything I’ve stated above then she should get a clue. The past should stay where it should and her bitching about her ex is pretty much pointless. Move. On.
Some women can be real bitches sometimes. Often, they keep up an image of being a good girl or the “victim”, pity the ones who haven’t “wisened up” but fail to realise that the world doesn’t revolve around them AND yes there are other stories — though seemingly intertwined — that they know nothing about (hence, the need to keep their noses out). If you’re an ex (like I am) you really need to mind your own business.
Personally, I don’t see the need to bitch about the ex or talk about his current girlfriend cuz I’d rather tell my friends stories about my boyfriend. Wouldn’t you do the same thing? Esp if you claim you’re happy with who your with right now?
Bitching about the X! I believe this is a normal part of the mourning process (the end of a relationship), however, there should be a time limit on the constant baffling array of words coming from the mouth. As a friend of someone who has been left, and also as a member of the dumped society myself, there is only so much everyone can take.
The real question should be why are you baffling on about a relationship that you are claiming to be better off without. Is it really because you loved the person, or perhaps, it is just the fact that you were dumped? No one really likes to be dumped, I mean really. This leaves the dumped wondering about themselves, a time for self-reflection. Looking at our own flaws is probably one of the hardest, most depressing, experiences we would have to partake in. But it is needed!
Perhaps, we have fallen into a rut, where we keep choosing the wrong type of partner to fall for. I do believe one should try finding the common denominator, which, is usually you. No matter what, it is always heartbreaking to have a relationship end. We feel alone, isolated, and unworthy. WE ARE NONE OF THESE THINGS!
Get up, wipe your self off, and move forward. Don’t worry so much about not having a partner; you should remain focused on you. What would you like to change in your life? What hobby or interest have you been putting off? This is not to fill the space of a partner, but to better your own existence.