When We Bleed They Suffer
February 26, 2007 by Mark
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
My friend Kevin is laying in the hospital in Brunswick, Georgia at this moment and we don’t know if he’ll survive.
His work will last on my right forearm until I have turned to ashes in my own grave. At one time Kevin and his wife Valerie owned Blue Moon Dermagraphics in Savannah. Kevin was a tattoo artist.
Sunday Kevin may have ridden his scoot for the last time. The pain meds and alcohol may have completed their evil. His head was “cracked like an egg” and his neck is broken. When you have a BAC of .30 those types of things happen quite often especially on a motorcycle. Kevin hadn’t grown wings. He hit hard.
Yet, I’m of the opinion that he might not have felt much pain. That’s something else alcohol does, temporarily. Dulls or eliminates our pain. But what of “them?”
In Kevin’s case - his wife Valerie.
When we bleed, they suffer.
God is a good God. Valerie is also a sober member of AA. There has been a stream of support moving through the hospital today. Thankfully, I’ll have the opportunity to be a part of that support tomorrow. I’d like to believe that the support lessens the emotional pain she is in right now. There has to come a moment when Valerie is alone with her thoughts. If she’s anything like most of us, the first thoughts were along the lines of “when you get out of this one dude, I’m gonna kick your a**!” Quickly shadowed by a program of recovery which has taught me those first thoughts are my ego and pride - Kevin didn’t listen to me or you and that irritates us along with the fear of his death and we react with anger.
We work through the immaturity and eventually wind up where we ought to - “There But For The Grace Of God Go I.” The Loving God we all understand today will protect and oversee Valerie. He will also oversee the finality of our friends’ existence and yours and mine too. We can trust God’s goodness and love.
Truly though, it would have been so much better had he been able to get and then stay sober again.
I no doubt have another drunk in me, but I don’t know, cannot know, if I have another recovery! I caused them enough pain… we caused them enough pain.
[Update - Tonight (9:30 pm) it is possible that Kevin may survive but this is not a fact yet. One miracle so far - he broke C2 yet didn't sever the spinal chord. Extremely dangerous to his welfare now. One wrong move... There is a LOT more but I'll keep it quiet. Val has many who support her and is also okay for now.]
My prayers are with Kevin…
another grim reminder of Live and DEATH , this disease doesnt care who you are or where you are it wants ALL to suffer ,death is easy its the pain the suffering they go through that is the selfish part of the drunk that gets me we never think of others pain when we drink ,the children the mothers and fathers that watch as we are slowly killing ourselfs ,with every drink they die a little until we die and there left to carry on without us ,sons without fathers daughters without mothers and so on , no human power can relieve our or there suffering ,
My thoughts and Prayers are with Kevin’s family “Valerie ” I sat in meetings with him as you have Mark and I sit in meetings today with the same people , too dam smart to hear or accept anything .
THIS SUCKS !!!!!!!!
“too dam smart to hear or accept anything”
Exactly my friend…
It had become a deadly game for Kevin, one he, or anyone else, can’t win - single handed combat with alcoholism.
As much as I feel the same way - it sucks - there is a positive side to it - you know it. Lonnie and I will be off to Brunswick by 10am. (Its 9:30 now) Later…
I was a good friend of Kevin and Val, but lost touch due to the military. I wanted to visit the shop one more time and see him, until I saw these wonderful words. Please tell me he survived…is the shop still around…I want to say hello….thanks for your help.
Jennifer - Hi! Good News - yes, Kevin survived!
He has suffered consequences, he’s blind and in constant pain but he can speak perfectly. We didn’t think that would happen.
The shop has been sold. Val’s good.
If you want to, send me your phone number at mark at adlandpro dot com (yes, remove the words in the email address etc) and I’ll get it to them.