When You Are “The Married Friend”

How often do you find that your single friends come to you for advice, listen for a little bit, then continue making the same mistakes and dating the same guys you can’t stand?

Yeah, this happens a lot. Granted, married women tend to either be the best at advice…or the absolute worst. Once that ring is on your finger, it’s really easy to forget how difficult dating is and that not every guy is the prince charming you have.

Image: Newscom

I try to keep these things in mind when a friend stops by and asks “what should I do?”

It’s your opinion. Just because you are married, does not mean you have a graduate degree in relationships. Your opinion is valid, but it’s not truth or fact. Remember that much of what you speak comes from personal experience that may or may not – probably not – be similar to your friend’s predicament.

You don’t know the whole story. Don’t automatically side with your friend on everything either. Listen to the whole story (as told by her) and gently try to guide her from there. But just mindlessly blaming him is pointless – unless he really is to blame for it all (unlikely).

Don’t use your marriage as an example. Should the words, “Well, when Paul and I…” start to cross your lips, try to hold back. Unless you truly believe that the commitment between your unmarried couple friends is comparable (and she would agree with you on that), you’re only going to sound like the obnoxious married friend.