When You Suspect a Family Member is Developing Alzheimer’s

A family member…mother, father, grandparent, spouse or sibling…becomes forgetful.  You think nothing about it at first.  Everyone has forgetful moments. 

However, you soon realize there is something different about these instances of memory loss.  These concern situations he/she should recall…a child’s marriage, a grandchild’s birth, a friend’s visit yesterday, lunch with a colleague a day or so ago, the color of their car in the driveway.

Eventually you mention it to the family member, who refuses to believe anything is wrong.  “Everyone forgets,” they say. 

When this persists and you suggest checking with the doctor, you receive a resounding, “NO!” from the forgetful person.  “There is nothing wrong with my memory.”

If you forget where you placed your keys when you came inside with the groceries, the mail, and a grandchild, you’re greeted with, “See!  You forget, too.”

Sometimes, too, family members who aren’t living with this person doesn’t see the forgetfulness…at least not at first.  They may not want to see it.  Or the forgetful person is good at covering it up when others are around.

What do you do?

*If they do have visit the doctor for another reason, alert the doctor so he’ll check this situation out.

*Mention to the forgetful person that you don’t think the problem necessarily is Alzheimer’s.  It may be tia’s (which definitely be treated) or some other condition which could get worse without medication.  They may agree to checking this out. 

*Keep a journal with the forgetful incidents recorded.  Not that you’re spying on this person or invading their privacy.  However, you do need to validate these instances if the situation gets worse.

*Have other family members and friends, who will take you seriously, develop an awareness of what is going on.

*Learn all you can about dementia and Alzheimer’s.  I found the book, Alzheimer’s, A Caregiver’s Guide and Sourcebook, by Howard Greutzer, very helpful.  However,there are many others.

The 36-Hour Day, by Nancy L. Mace and Peter V. Rabins, published by Johns Hopkins University Press has long been regarded as a helpful sourcebook about Alzheimer’s.