When your soul mate isn’t green

What happens when you meet the one and they’re not so green? Do you leave them and look for a greener soul mate? Should you send them to green boot camp? Well, it’s complicated. There are a few different types of non-greenies and hopefully yours falls into the “I just don’t know about green-living” camp or the “I’m trying to go green and need some help” camp.

If you’re dating someone who is belligerent about green-living, or outwardly puts down your need to live green, that’s WAY more complicated. One, I doubt you’d be with that type of person if you’re into green and two if you are know that they may never change.  That said let’s assume your soul mate falls into one of the much nicer camps above.

What to do:

Be realistic about how bad the situation is: Finding fault in your partner all the time is no way to nurture a healthy relationship and if your partner’s only fault is that he’s less green than you, well, that’s sort of small potatoes – or at least easily solved potatoes. Consider people who live with partners who drink excessively, who are violent, or who are addicted to gambling (ALL way worse than not living green).

Be patient: You weren’t born green I’m guessing (not if you’re old enough to date) so you must have learned how to live green. It took some time right? I’m betting you’re not perfectly green now even. Accept that there’s a learning curve.

Make it easy and part of the everyday: Your partner’s not into reusable bags or water bottles – buy him some instead of pestering him about it. Tell him simply about your recycling bins and your need to unplug the toaster when it’s not in use. Leave books around about green living. Keep on doing all the little green things you do and he’ll catch on.

Stand your ground: Just because your partner isn’t green doesn’t mean you need to compromise your own ideals. It doesn’t take two people to go green, it just takes you. Keep on keeping on with your green ways and as you go explain the what and whys to your partner.

Turn on the green romance: Show your partner the fun and sexy side of green. Try some green romance and teach by example about how to green your sex-life, and so on. Greening your partner gets MUCH easier when you make it worth their while.

Don’t be a green freakshow: The quickest way to turn anyone off to an idea (green living included) is to act holier then everyone else, tell someone off in front of their pals, or constantly bitch at someone because they haven’t caught on. Every single person can be more green but they need to do it on their terms. Explaining your side nicely or asking that your partner try something green is not the same as being a nutty green annoyance.

Appreciate small changes: Small green steps are better than none, and in fact add up. Make it known that you adore your soul mate even more for all the times he’s trying to be greener. Praise is a cool thing.

Have you ever dated someone who is less green-minded than you? What did you do? Let me know in the comments…

*NOTE: I’m perfectly aware that many guys are green while their female partners may not be. Above I used “he” as a way to keep the flow going – so please don’t leave this comment, “HEY you called all guys not green!” Thanks.

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