Where Did I Go? Part 2

At the end of Part 1, I referred to skiing the Double Black Diamond slope, after being off skis for about 26 years.

That was a big confidence builder for me, but I still have a Double Black to conquer at Sugarloaf, in Maine. You see I was about 15 or 16 on a school Ski Club trip over New Years when that slope really kicked my backside. I felt like that guy on ABC Wide World of Sports, you know… where the announcer said “and the Agony of Defeat.” Ouch!

I will go back to Sugarloaf and ski that slope… And I won’t walk down 3/4 of that trail because my ski is broken. I have a couple of other things to conquer first though. They have to do with my health.

Back to my subject for now. As I became the man the modern day American Christian evangelical church wanted me to be I lost a lot of who I was.

The man the Marines made had to change. Team sports and individual challenges were replaced with prayer and time in His word, instead of adding prayer and God’s word to them. I found myself not looking at attractive women in person, on tv, or movies so that I wouldn’t lust instead of letting Him help me overcome any weakness in that area. I left behind rifles and pistols because I believed a lie.

You’ve got to remember that to many Christians, guns + men = killing, and one of God commandments says “Thou shall not kill.” None of the Christian men I got to know did any of the things I had enjoyed. Well if you take the warrior mentality and the Guy’s guy out of the modern day Christian man, you might as well castrate him and make him an it. How can a man be an intercessor / prayer warrior without that same Warrior Mentality?

Have you ever wondered why the men in the church are not the strong prayer leaders and it is the ladies who do spiritual warfare, and head up the prayer meetings and intercessory prayer meetings? Maybe because the men have relinquished those roles. They want to be good Christians, gentle, meek, and feminized.

Yes, I said feminized. You remember the Sears ad campaign “Come see the softer side of Sears“? About the same time frame you started seeing the softer side of men; the more sensitive, politically correct, kinder and gentler guy. He was more acceptable.

About the time of that era, I became him too. It has caused problems in our marriage as Marye started feeling like I wouldn’t fight for her, if she was to leave. I stopped looking at her “that” way, and she began feeling unattractive, like she couldn’t turn me on. Later she felt ugly and rejected. Just read “When He Has A Headache.” We have gone through counseling to overcome the problems that I had, and that I had created in our marriage. And it was counseling that I could not find in the church.

My pastor couldn’t deal with my problems when I sat down with him for counseling. He would much rather sit and discuss the war against terror and information I was able to gather. We are both prior service military and that was our only connection. When asked to help me deal with my sexual, spiritual & marital problems and sins He as the modern American pastor, couldn’t deal with Christian Male issues himself.

I never saw such a relieved look on a man’s face as I did when we met at Starbucks a couple of months later and I told him that Marye and I were getting counseling at the VA Medical Center. Secular counseling.

Do you really think Jesus wouldn’t have dealt with me. Why can’t we guys who have read In His Steps, do what Jesus would do? Really, didn’t He call sin what it really was, SIN! Was He politically correct? Not wishing to offend anyone. Wasn’t David, who slew Goliath, and a victor in war, a man after God’s own heart? Then why have men, husbands and fathers lost their identity as men in today’s church?

I ‘m not saying we should all become Chauvinist pigs. We should be Godly men.

more to come later…

Image:Morguefile