Who Controls the Money?
December 3, 2008 by Marye Audet
Filed under Relationships
According to the poll on the side bar the wife does. The vast majority of our readers said “wife”.
So the question is, is it because she is better at it or it is more convenient?
I was actually kind of surprised, thought that the husband would be the one.
The next poll, the one for December, asks the question, “Where Do You Spend Christmas?”
This can be a source of frustration for many couples. His parents? Her parents? Home? It was not difficult for Marc and I… His parents lived 1,500 miles away and my mom didn’t like to cook. So we went to my parents house on Christmas Eve for pizza and my parents came to our house for Christmas adn Christmas dinner. But when our daughter got married there were some problems …HER inlaws lived 1,500 miles away but she wanted to spend Christmas with us and her husband prefered it to be just “their “family. He felt, I think, overwhelmed by the closeness and size of our family, and the ties therein. It seems to have worked out now, seven years later, but was a bit uncomfortable all around for awhile.
So, where will you spend Christmas and are you happy with that choice?
image:morguefile
This year I refused to go to 2 Thanksgivings and made my in-laws adopt my family’s solution – every other year on Sat after and every other year on Thanksgiving.
Christmas we’re cramming my In-Law’s Christmas and my family’s Christmas on Christmas Eve. We’ll spend the day home with just our family.
Otherwise it’s exhausting instead of fun and no one gets to PLAY with their new toys.
Saying no to the Holiday Hop has made me happy.
I do think it is best to stay in your own home on Christmas… My daughter misses the clamor of a big family I think…and I love having them here…but I know it can be hard to hit several places.
Home is it. For us now there isn’t a choice anymore. I haven’t heard of any volunteering from the kids. There is more room here anyways. Marye & I will spend some time missing our parents. But not much, as we will have our kids to focus on. And we have each other of course.
I think the traditions as to where it all happens are in a state of flux for us.
As our parents and my grandma age we have to take into account their lessening ability to travel.
We also have three grown children, two that are married.
I try to keep it loose, so that dil’s do not feel obligated the way I always did. They both feel they are good with how it has been,but that it will change again when they have children.
I think that having that much family around would make it much harder!
Both of our parents, my husband and mine, live at least a hour away. Mine live a bit further then a hour so on Thanksgiving we spent it all together as a family. His family and mine at our house which was really nice because we got to be at home and be comfortable. For me his family is like a second family, of course, so I’d be comfortable at their home as well. As far as Christmas goes we spent our very first Christmas apart, him and his Mom and me at my parents, and found it awful so we vowed to always spend Christmas together. Last year we spent Christmas Eve at his Mom’s and Christmas Day at my parents and we will be doing the same this year. I have no problem with it at all because we both get to spent quality time with our own families with each other, if that makes sense.
This was a thorny issue for us this year (our second married Christmas). We are going to my family’s home (nearly 1,000 miles away) on the day, which is going to be hard on my hubby as he has never been away from his family on Christmas. This will be our first Christmas with my family as a couple, and the first Christmas in 3 years that I have been home on the day!
Liz it is good you found a way to do it!
Katy Lin-I can imagine that would be difficult!