Who’s Bullying Who?
May 17, 2007 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
As Charlie has gotten older, and as I have gotten to know more and more parents of older children and of adults, one topic that has come up a lot is bullying: A child who is “different,” “geeky,” “quirky,” who does not know what to do in social situations and forget about being with the “in” crowd……our kids are ready targets and too often are unsure about how to respond, or who to turn to for help, especially in situations like lunch time in the cafeteria (where do you sit if no one will sit with you?). My own son is never without a teacher or aide when he is at school (and with us or a therapist when at home) and, in view of his severe speech disability—-both understanding what is said to him and being able to respond clearly—and his nearly complete uncertainty about what to do in social situations, I am fine with this. I would rather him be safe and protected at this point. (Kathleen Seidel has an extensive list of books and other resources about bullying.)
Then I read about a new research study published today in Ambulatory Pediatrics that is the “first nationally representative study of bullying behaviors among children with autism.” The study was conducted by Guillermo Montes, Ph.D., senior researcher at Rochester, N.Y.-based Children’s Institute, and found that children with autism did not have a higher rate of bullying, but that children who had autism and ADHD or ADD had a higher rate of bullying, as noted in a Eurekalert press release:
The study pulled data from the 2003 National Survey of Children’s Health conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics. The sample included 53,219 children ages 6 to 17. The researchers were interested in finding out whether children with autism were more likely to bully other children. They hypothesized that that children with autism may bully more often because they are more often male (who are more likely to bully); they are more likely to be bullied (and victims are more likely to bully); and many children with autism require treatment for aggression (which potentially includes bullying).
But the researchers did not find that children with autism had a higher rate of bullying – unless they also had ADD or ADHD. Those with both disorders showed a rate four times higher than children with just autism and with children overall. They also had a higher rate of bullying than children with ADD or ADHD but no autism. This poses an important opportunity for health care providers who see children with autism and ADD or ADHD, which occurs in about half of children with autism spectrum disorders.
Dr. Montes specifically refers to bullying behavior and refrains from actually saying that children with autism and ADHD or ADD are more liable to bully: “‘The majority of parents of children with autism and ADD or ADHD were concerned about their children’s bullying behaviors, but there is much we do not yet understand. It is too early to label these children as bullies.’” Regarding children with autism and ADHD or ADD, Montes (who also authored the study on mothers of autistic children coping well that was published in the May issue of Pediatrics) also notes that
“‘”These children may have pent up energy that needs to be properly channeled, or they may have other underlying behavioral or medical issues that have not been addressed.’”
My son certainly has difficulties paying attention, and being able to get out of his seat and move around and having P.E. every day has helped him immensely: One wonders what sorts of supports the children in Dr. Montes’ study had, or did not have? And, it is possible that they had been previously bullied themselves—to what extent was this taken into consideration in the study?
Our oldest (asperger’s) is now starting to really bully his younger brother. With outsiders, he’s fine. So far.
We need to get to a specialist; not him, yet. We the parents need to see a specialist.
In my experience, at least in school growing up, it often seemed that the worst bullies were the most skilled at getting away with bullying. Teachers would often overlook overt bullying, refer to it as “normal”, or even flat-out accuse the less popular students of either lying about being bullied or of “behaving in a provocative manner”.
It should not be surprising that autistic children have a higher rate of bullying, nor should they be blamed for it. Research within the last year has shown that autistics have fewer mirror neurons, which help people read the emotions of others. Without this important neurological tool for establishing empathy, wouldn’t anyone have trouble knowing when he or she has crossed the line from emphatic expression to bullying?
Caroline, I disagree completely. I don’t think that we can look at any one study and claim that it “shows that autistic children have higher rates of bullying”, or that mirror neurons have anything to do with it. Autistics are far more likely to *be* bullied than to actually bully. If anything, I’d guess that a study indicating “bullying behaviors” in autistics might actually be picking up on self-defense or the release of pent-up frustration.
The point I was trying to make in my previous comment, though I don’t think I explicated it well enough, was that the people who are “best at” bullying — who are generally NOT autistic — are far less likely to actually get caught. Society actually tends to *enable* bullies in many ways, especially bullies who are highly charismatic and able to look and act “sincere” when they are not. When I was growing up I got in trouble a lot more than the kids that bullied me did — those kids were often able to charm adults (including teachers), claim that they “weren’t doing anything”, or flat-out lie that I’d done something to them first!
If nonautistic people are supposed to be so empathetic, explain why I was chased by a mob of (nonautistic) kids at the park when I was 8 years old and pelted with sticks and rocks. Explain why people used to “pretend” to be my friend and then go off and talk about me whilst giggling and poking fun. Explain why “humor” that results in people being humiliated is so popular in the general population. I think it’s extremely damaging and dangerous to invoke quasi-scientific vocabulary like “mirror neurons” and use that as a basis to assert that autistics lack empathy and are more likely to be bullies. If humans even have anything that could possibly be called “mirror neurons”, it seems far more likely that these have to do with the ability to easily imitate typical gestures — which has nothing to do with a person’s ability to understand that others feel pain.
I think it can also be said that bullies are all too aware of the feelings of those they are bullying—-they look for a weak point, for something they know that someone is sensitive about, and (for instance) make some cruel remark about it.
Kristina, I believe that that is probably true in many cases. And I can say from personal experience that I’ve never really known how to hide my own vulnerabilities.
However, there’s a particular component to bullying that seems to go above and beyond the ability to find vulnerabilities. Many people are highly perceptive and empathic and can see others’ vulnerabilities, and yet do not choose to exploit this, and do not find pleasure in making others feel bad. The most “successful” bullies seem to have an unfortunate combination of keen perception of vulnerability and a desire to cause hurt.
And I think it’s that last point you make—the “desire to cause hurt”—that is very much at work in a bully. (Reflecting on some personal experiences myself.)