Comments on: Why do parents ignore eating disorders?

By: Spanky

Spanky — Mon, 25 May 2009 12:51:42 +0000

I went from 150 to 97 pounds ages 15-17. My parents made no effort to help me. I stopped having periods. My mother was a closet drinking narcissist and father was a dry drunk w/ major depression. They could hardly keep themselves together. I felt like if they ignored the problem it will go away. My father was a lawyer; maybe that’s why no one in the community tried to help me. I got better on my own, but at age 50 still struggle w/ addiction, codependency and anxiety. Husband is a dry drunk narcissist, and he hoards. Counselors for this problem are rare.

By: Susan

Susan — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 18:30:03 +0000

8. Some kids are extremely adept at hiding what they want hidden from their parents. Not only are the teens themselves in denial that they have a problem……but some parents feel they are contributing to the problem by trying to make the child see that there is a problem. Thereby creating a bigger problem.

By: Saturday Sanity: The Good, The Bad, And The Smiley Faces

Saturday Sanity: The Good, The Bad, And The Smiley Faces — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 21:22:21 +0000

[...] Angelique’s five reasons parents ignore eating disorders. [...]

By: angelique

angelique — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 18:12:08 +0000

Wow! These are some awesome answers!

I didn’t think of your ideas and theories. We could probably do plenty of posts about this topic, huh?

By: Erin

Erin — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 15:55:47 +0000

6. They don’t want to admit their child has a problem. It’s a little different than shame, wherein at least the parents accept there’s an eating disorder. Because let’s face it. This is our “good” child and this child doesn’t come home with eating disorders. If we were about to face therapy and mounting medical bills and possible IP, it’d be the other kid. This one’s…oh there’s nothing to worry about.

7. An an extension of that (sort of)…if your child doesn’t fit the stereotypical mold of who suffers from an eating disorder, then it might not ever occur to you. Parents of boys just might have a hard time accepting that their son can suffer from bulimia or anorexia. I’m sure numbers 1 & 6 are closely related to “7.” There’s still a strong association with eating disorders only being a thing for young privileged white women who are desperately seeking attention. And so if one has a different background or culture, it could simply be ignorance about just how prolific this disorder is.

By: Kelly Turner

Kelly Turner — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 23:10:00 +0000

my parents didnt know until a friend told them about my pro-ED xanga she found. My mom noticed i was losing weight, but didnt say anything until my friend confronted her. then she turned it into a “woe is me, my daughter is sick, what did i do to deserve this” kind of think.

guess where the eating disorder came from?

http://www.groundedfitness.com

By: Erin

Erin — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 22:43:07 +0000

My mom is actually a psychologist, so she definitely didn’t fit #1. I don’t think she fit any of the others either. I think she either just saw what she wanted to see, or she just didn’t know how to “treat” her own daughter like a patient.

By: eshoe

eshoe — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:55:09 +0000

I absolutely think they are ashamed. And a bit eating disordered themselves, or used to using some unhealthy coping mechanism to deal with stress.

It’s unfortunate, because the more I have read up on the Maudsley approach, the more I think parents’ involvement at an early ago would benefit the sufferer.

I think they also may not understand the psychological side of an eating disorder, i.e. if they don’t witness behaviors, then I must be ok!

Great post. I often wonder why my parents often ignored both my sister and my eating disorders after brief interventions. Only now has my Mom started to ask questions and try to understand why I am doing this to myself.