Because, in the end, people can’t see internally. They can’t see the person in front of them who they are, but they assume things about people that are generally true which is going to cause issue when that isn’t so. Now, in the case of most, the differences are not as significant or not as relevant. But a label is rightfully created as an easier way for people to understand something that, at a minimum, would otherwise take time and time to explain. It’s difficult enough to explain the rather unknown subtleties of autism while using the label, and practically impossible without.

I recognize the inherent danger of a label as a crutch, but I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks by miles. Let’s be honest about this; some people can’t reasonably do some things. This is universal, not limited to disability groups. And it’s helpful to have even a vague understanding or knowledge of a person in that regard.

And, amy, you are right in the regard that the label will not help ultimately. But the understanding, however flawed and limited, gained by the other person will. That’s why labels, actually, all words, exist, and all with the same issue.

Although, now thinking of it, what difference does it make whether “autistic” or “with autism” is used in terms of having a crutch? In fact, it’s much easier to skate by with having a disease…

Cliff

Since hearing autistics say they prefer that term to be used that is the term I now use as my default in reference to an autistic person.

Unless you are unable to live independently, I think the internalized label is likely to get in the way. I mean that regardless of the difficulties, you will have to get up, go to work, keep jobs, keep house, buy groceries, pay bills, etc. In the end, it doesn’t really matter why these things are hard (or whether they’re harder for you than they are for other people). If you can find strategies from autism therapies that help, marvelous. If you can find strategies from other therapies that help, marvelous. But the label itself is not, I think, going to help you get through the day. I think it’s more likely to be a shovel to lean on. “This is hard for me because I’m autistic.” Well, all right. But I don’t think it adds value to, “This is hard for me.” In the end you’ll have to find your own ways of getting through the day and making sure you do what has to be done.

The idea of “fixing your child” just makes me angry. If the child seems strange and is not physically ill, and this is not a signal to you to slow down and try to listen carefully to your child on your child’s terms, then it seems to me the problem lies with you, not with the kid.

This terror of the particular, this desperation to classify, I really don’t get it. I”m reminded of the title of an art book I like: _Seeing Is Forgetting the Name of the Thing One Sees_. (A Life of Contemporary Artist Robert Irwin.) He understood.

I do not think autism is a disease, but an important and worthy aspect of who I am, and therefore will argue for internalization. Now, I still say go to the person, but I do think that the far majority of autistics themselves do say they are autistic, and they identify with it as a human being, though I am open to those who think otherwise. I don’t think, though, that can ever be decided by the parent, because the parents, truth be told, may not know of the child in that regard, just because the child can’t communicate that information.

And, Harold, I will respectfully disagree with you in regards to this being a real issue. This is a real issue, because there are understandings, and actions, that will happen because of the internalization versus externalization. It factors into perceptions of creating your child as something to be fixed or something to help. A broken or whole person. A real human being or the shadow of one. Trust me, it took some work to convince my family I had always been a whole person, thanks.

In regards to the non-communitative part, I do think that many of us have been through the non-communitative part, and feel no differently for it. My thinking pre-ABA rings in memory as an autistic in thought, not just in communication, and not disjointed (though simplistic as probable for the age).

Cliff