Work-Life Fit
“Balance” is a word frequently bandied about when it comes to the topic of parents who work, and, are raising kids.
While I appreciate the sentiment, that word in that context has always bothered me, but, I’ve never been able to articulate why it does.
However, Cali Williams Yost at Work+Life Fit expresses what I’ve been thinking:
No Such Thing as Balance – I also made another realization — there is no such thing as “balance.” Over the years, I found that term caused individuals more feelings of dissatisfaction and pressure than of well-being. No one ever felt they achieved balance. Why? For the same reason organizations couldn’t provide work+life solutions for each one of their employees — each individual has a unique set of work and personal realities. No two sets are alike. The term “balance” didn’t adequately convey the variety of work+life possibilities from which individuals could choose. Bottom-line: it’s “fit,” not balance.
I think when you talk about “balance”, it implies that even one small change can bring the whole thing crashing down, and, that every moment is a struggle to maintain. While there are days when it sure feels that way, if it’s like that all the time, then your work and life might not be a good fit.
People often ask me “how I do it”, and, I have a hard time understanding why they think I have some magic knowledge about raising children and working. Everyone has their own reality, and, mine is that I have to work (outside the home, for a signed paycheck, you know what I mean, don’t start with me). It is what it is.
We work things out the best we can, and, like most people, some days I feel like we’re doing it better than others. But, overall, we take Nike’s advice, and, “just do it”, and, try to make things fit along the way.
“Balance” is one of those mythical goals that is impossible to reach, and even harder than that to define. Why? Because, since as you point out, there is no single right answer, nobody is ever sure that they have acheived the balance that seek. There is always another tweak possible, a slight alteration, a bit more time with the kids, a few extra hours of work to afford those things that you would like for you home so you are not “always struggling.” It is the never ending search.
I totally agree. When asked, can women have it all, I must answer, “it depends what your definition of ‘all’ is.” Right? And my friends always ask me how I do it- work, blog, raise a kid, whatever. I don’t know any other way and I’m really hyper, I guess.
Physical fitness, a “put together” look, and make up have all had to be chucked out of my routine. The quest for “balance” went out the window with them. I think “balance” is just another marketing campaign for things that make women waste their time.
Thanks for posting. The search for work life fit goes on… if you’d like to hear Cali yost speak about the issue and a lot else, she was this week’s guest on The Cranky Middle Manager Show podcast. She was funny, smart and had lots of good information. You can hear it at
http://cmm.thepodcastnetwork.com/2007/02/22/the-cranky-middle-manager-show-84-work-life-fit-with-cali-yost/