Working parents “don’t have time”
In my perusal of the literature about working parents I often run across the phrase, “working parents who don’t have time to _______”.
Even in the rare use of it that rings true, the phrase just bugs me. When it’s used in it’s typical context, it’s usually used to explain away, or, hint at the “less than desirable” parenting practices of mothers (usually) and fathers (less frequently) who work outside the home.
You know, “working parents let their kids run wild at home because they don’t have time to discipline them”, “working parents don’t have time to volunteer at school”, “working parents don’t have time to put their kids to bed at a proper hour”, “working parents don’t have time to cook nutritious meals”, we’ve read it all.
Sure, there are things I might have to do differently than someone who doesn’t work outside the home, but, everyone is busy, you just do what you have to do, regardless of your employment status. But, despite that, everyone doesn’t always see it that way.
For example, I might not be available a particular day for a field trip because I have to work, but, I could make the next one. Someone else might not be able to go on that same field trip because another child has a doctor’s appointment, yet, I will end up as the “working mother who doesn’t have time to volunteer”, and, the other person will be seen as a volunteer who “just couldn’t make it that day”.
But, then again, just like any stereotype, there are people who embody it, and, their behavior gives credence to the assumptions. You know the ones, they will be the first to pipe up, “Call someone else, I work“, “Nutrition, hah! We have to eat fast food 5 times a day because I work“. Gives the rest of us a bad name.
There are lots of parenting practices that are less than stellar out there, but, there’s too much judgment of them based on where that parent spends the day.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to just throw a frozen pizza in the oven instead of cooking from scratch. I’m incredibly busy, but that has more to do with my outside-of-work activities than work iteself.
One exception I would throw in the mix, is for single parents. Right now, I can divide household duties with my wife. I’ve seen single parents in action, and Idon’t know how they fnd time to breathe.
YA WELL I AM A KID WHO PARENTS DONT HAVE TIME FOR ALL THE TIME I CRY TO SEE MY PARENTS I EAT DINNER ALONE PUT MYSELF TO BED ALONE i NEED HELP PEOPLE WHAT SHOULD I DO
I agree with you on many points you make. However it seems strange to me that someone who calls herself “Busy Mom” and her family members “Busy _____” is indeed trying to make the point that your busyness is not only at a higher volume than everyone elses, but also that you are busy reasons that are more important than those of everyone else. I spent some time perusing your other blog trying to figure out exactly WHAT is making you so busy that you call yourself that, but I couldn’t find it.
So don’t you think it’s strange that you’re writing an “article” about using busyness as an excuse, when you point out to people when they first come to your blog that you are the queen of all busyness? And how exactly is that better than those who say “I can’t do that, I WORK!”
Well, if you had left me a real e-mail address, I would be happy to discuss this with you, and, I suspect you will be back here.
I’m “Busy Mom” simply because 5 years ago, that was the only name available on Blogspot when I started my blog.
Where exactly did I say I was the queen of all busyness? I don’t believe I have ever made that claim as there’s not a contest.
Perhaps you are the one who needs to lighten up.