World’s Worst Boss
Although I’ve had my own business for a little over a year, there are many lessons, experiences and memories from corporate life that I keep with me. Some of these details are inspiring, as they help me with the daily management of the-petset.com and some other references, make me shudder.
Like the day my boss through me into a lake. Let me elaborate:
Several years ago, I worked at a large international, luxury auto maker in New Jersey. Needless to say, the men:women ratio was enourmously unbalanced, in favor of men. You can imagine the fashion environment in a car company — yep, tons ‘o logo-ed polo shirts. And the politics and bad sexually explicit jokes, were horrendous.
As I reflect on this bit of history, my boss was a remarkably similar to Michael on The Office. He was a people-pleaser, a manipulator (I suspect a misogynist), a self-described “god’s gift to women” and mostly stupid.
This guy’s attempt a bonding with his group was an annual trip to a local lake, complete with beer and boats…and of course a token baseball cap with the company’s logo. BTW, the guys in our department routinely bonded at least twice a week at a local pub — but on these trips “the girls” got to go.
He hated me so much, at least that’s how I felt at the time. My reviews were never great, he made comments about my clothing, he even made a few personal remarks that were hurtful.
I hate lakes; I think their gross. I am more of an ocean/beach girl. Anyway, the day was progressing as planned, the guys are drinking and trying to manuever the boat we were all on,….brilliant, I know. And, doing cannon balls into the lake. And did I mention the drinking?
I hadn’t really been engaging with these guys; I was completely satisfied to sit in a corner of the boat and read magazines. At some point, my boss said to me, why don’t you go in the water, like the rest of the team, you’re not much of a team player are you?
I’m not a great swimmer, I reply. (The big clue).
I looked back down at the magazine, and no sooner said than done, he and his cronie, another moron from our team, lift me by the feet and arms and toss me overboard. They ignored my pleas for them to stop, they ignored the fact that I don’t swim well, and they had absolutely no concern about whether there were rocks in the lake, on which I could have cracked my skull. I was completely humiliated as my co-workers looked on — and laughed!
It’s just too bad a photo wasn’t taken. Later on, an attorney told me that I would not have a good sexual harassment case in court, unless maybe I could get a class-action going. Is that what it takes? Having as many women as possible scorned or abused before an attorney or judge will take notice.
I resigned later that year, mostly because going into the office everyday was so demoralizing.
But, what I will say to you is…if you ever experience behavior such as mine, do not do what I did and hold it in or quit. Tell someone in HR right away. No one ever, I repeat EVER has the right to treat you with less than respect and diginity.
I don’t care if it was a car company or for the Queen.
This is a horrid story and you should come out and tell us who this a**hole is and the company he works for. I have worked a few places like this where the men tread the women like crap. Funny. Now I work at a library where it is like 99% women, but guess who most of the top level adminstrators are….women? nope!
Well, I can’t say who it is, because I do actually like the guy’s wife…but I can tell you that he no longer works for big luxury auto company and is seeling cards at a Nissan dealership in D.C…hee…hee.
But again, anyone reading this…should not do what I did…tell someone immediately.
I know how it feels to be in a demoralizing work environment… and I in no way condone your treatment… but, I must say that the episode you described is not sexual harrassment. It could be reckless endangerment, or even assault, but not SH. Its a shame that the true cases of SH are overshadowed by an overabundance of incorrectly labeled ones, making all sound like the girl who cried wolf. Just my .02
Thank you Scott for your input…I appreciate a man’s point of view.
Actually, anytime a man puts his hands on a woman, unsolicited, most definitely sexual harassment. Also, sexual harassment is often not about physical abuse…it can be verbal, emotional and psychological as well.
But thanks again.
I agree that SH can be physical, verbal, emotional, and psychological… but the legal definition of SH is as follows:
“Within employment or school settings, sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that is prohibited by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 under the Federal law. Title VII defines sexual harassment as “unwelcome” sexual conduct that is a term or condition of employment (29 C.F.R. 1604. 11a).”
This definition is free of gender definitions, thus can be perpetrated via man-man, man-woman, woman-man or woman-woman. Thus, you can be guilty of SH using your definition if you EVER touched ANYONE in a work environment.
The very real danger of expanding this definition can be seen in the case of a male kindergarden child being expelled for sexual harassment… which is utterly absurd since a 5 year old child has no concept of sex, and is incapable of acting in a sexual nature of any kind.
I don’t want to discount your feelings or minimize the problem, though, as it is a very real problem in society.
Thank you Scott for the more precise definition…would you say that in the context of this post, we can agree that the boss was a jerk?
I agree 100%… the behavior was unprofessional and inexcusable.
I mentioned in the note that this was an auto company, so I was familiar with teen-age boy behavior and had really never made a fuss. And actually, I didn’t make a fuss over this either…I just realized that I did not fit in that environment and moved on.
Thanks again Scott…
Whatever Kim or Scott want to call it, it’s wrong, but honestly, funny that the only place I’ve ever had any SH training (yes, weird but that’s what they called it) was at the library, and from the video and training class I attended, SH can be viewed lots of different ways. Long and short, don’t touch people, don’t been mean to people, do unto others basically.
Sound like this guy got what was coming to him, though. Gotta love karma!
Hi Tammy,
Amen…
I’m not a legal expert…but you hit the nail on the head: “do unto others.”