#16. Top Three Things

Top Three Things, TTT, is a special vacation series. This are items designed to get you some help by telling the other people in a new mother’s life what to do. I was the oldest child in my family. Being bossy comes naturally to me.

Today’s TTT contains three things friends can and should do to help the new mothers of their acquaintance when a new baby is on the scene.

Now, if you’re a friend with children, your ability to identify with your friend just got stronger. If you are a friend without children, then nature has just put a big barrier between you and your friend, but a little work and understanding can actually strengthen the friendship over time.

1. Visit. Please visit. The new mother needs someone near even if she can’t hold a full conversation. Participate in the activity happening around you. Try to enjoy this new life just as much as the mother herself.

2. Bring dinner. Or lunch. A fresh salad. Hot soup. A casserole full of healthy stuff. New mothers are making milk, adjusting to sleeplessness, and running on all cylinders. A nice home made meal that she doesn’t have to prepare is a great gift.

3. Be flexible. There is a universal law that goes into effect when babies enter out lives. They always spit up, poop or demand to be fed just as their mothers are trying to leave the house with them. Especially if they have an appointment or have to meet a childless friend. Please be patient if we’re late or life just doesn’t go according to plan.

I am conscious of the fact that I am not the greastest friend right now. Especially to my friends who haven’t had children yet. I want to be and I will be again, I know. I just need some time to catch my breath, pick up the phone and call you. Please be patient, I am almost at that point. Another six months and I’ll be fine. Really.