#7. The “Down There” Omnibus

Well, I’ve said it before and I will say it again.

The most wonderful thing that will ever come out of your body is a baby. Milk is the second best thing. After that, it’s just the same old you know what.

And that, my friends, is as true for you as it is for celebrity mothers like Britney Spears and Angelina Jolie.

Now, forget about the paparazzi-hounded for a while and pay attention to me instead.

According to the search engine results, I am the only postpartum blogger who actually writes about the more embarassing side-effects (or is that end-effects?) of giving birth.

So, today’s vacation best-of omnibus features all my past posts about the glamourous stuff that happens “down there” after a woman gives birth.

First, the famous Quick & Dirty Advice for Those About to Pop contains the stuff you might as well memorise before you give birth to get through the first few days postpartum. Seriously, don’t forget to water down your first pee. Save yourself the pain.

After that, there is plenty of blood, piss and poop in A Long List of Discomforts that links to each of the more common conditions women find themselves in after giving birth.

For those of you who have really strained yourselves, read the Babylune Guide to Hemorroids because no one else will tell you how delicate your anus is.

Speaking of anuses, let me tell you why I wrote these posts about things that are so embarrassing to talk about. The postpartum body demands that its owner concern herself with blood, discharge, piss and excrement because if those organs aren’t working properly, you can’t mother properly.

Don’t be disgusted by what happens under the folds of your vulva, between the protective cheeks of your buttox. It may be hidden from view, but these physical systems are as deserving of care and good health as any other body part.

So, if something looks funny, smells funny, or stops working and you don’t know why, get yourself to a doctor or midwife and talk about it. There is nothing those folks haven’t heard before. Deal?