A Letter to My Sister
September 29, 2006 by kate baggott
Filed under Infancy
We’re waiting for my sister to give birth. She’s beyond the beached-whale stage of pregnancy and called me for the mineral-oil induction recipe that worked for me. The only problem is, I forgot to tell her that you have to follow the recipe exactly, or it doesn’t work. She didn’t and it didn’t. Writing a blog like this, I’ve found a lot of information she can take, ignore or accept at will. Such is the relationship between sisters and the nature of advice.
It’s been more than nine months since I gave birth, but all of my feeling from those first six weeks are still fresh. Preserved, as they were, in the form of blog entries.
Here, my beloved sister, is the widom that remains.
It’s all about energy management, take care of yourself and feel free to neglect the house work. Having a second baby is nothing like having the first.
Even though you will be overwhelmed, you will get used to working all the time.
In spite of the fact that your life has changed absolutely and completely, chances are that no one around you will have developed the ability to read minds. You may have to ask your husband, your parents and in-laws, your siblings, and even your friends for help. You may even have to be specific and ask them for help folding laundry or to make you a meal.
And remember, the things you should do to take of yourself and the things you can do, are completely different things. You might be surprised that even doing one little thing, for as little as one minute, might make you feel a lot better.
Good advice to your sister! You’re absolutely right that having the second (or third) is nothing like having the first. And definitely ask for what you need! When my third was 6 weeks old (the others were 4yrs and 1.5yrs), Bald Man went and exploded his appendix and had emergency surgery. I felt totally overwhelmed (not to mention sleep-deprived). My friend and her mom came over and folded 6 loads of laundry. One of the best gifts I’d ever received!!! And that same friend came over one night to get up with the baby to do his feedings (I’d pumped) through the night so I could try to get at least one night’s sleep. I still woke a bit, but it was nice not to have to get up!
Hope all goes well with your sister’s delivery.
Kerri- A true friend will fold your laundry. 6 loads is beyond true friendship. It is real devotion.
Thanks for your good wishes. I hope all goes well too.
One of the greatest things about a sister is the advice. I’m sure she appreciated it!
Here via Carnival of Family Life.
That is wonderful advice. I don’t think we truly believe how much work a second child is until we experience it… it’s so true- the dishes can wait! Except for the baby bottles, of course.
What fantastic advice!!!
Sisters are the greatest… and I’m sure she’s very grateful to have you.