Avoiding Infection
May 29, 2006 by kate baggott
Filed under Infancy
Warning: This is another one of thoses posts in which I am really, really honest, mention natural bodily fluids and other gory details of maternity. If you watched your baby’s delivery in the mirror, you can probably take it. If you looked away, you may want to steel yourself.
For the first 6 to 8 weeks after childbirth, you need to protect yourself against infection of the uterus and vaginal canal. That’s why traditional wisdom (apparently the Torah, the Bible, and The Koran all mention this) tells couples not to have sex while the woman is bleeding after childbirth.
The 6 week rule has been called into question and there are a lot of very new mothers who really want to have sex. And given that their husbands are lying right next to them in bed, it probably happens. It sounds insane on first reading, but plenty of women who were on bed rest or at risk for premature delivery may not have had an oragasm since they found out they were pregnant.
Still, there are lots of things dirtier than sex that should be avoided in the immediate postpartum period:
- Baths for the first three weeks (sitzbads, baths where you sit upright to treat birth-related injuries with special epsom salts and herbs are OK)
- Baths with the baby or your older children for the first 8 weeks. Few things are filthier than children. Especially those who wear diapers and/or bring home pocketfuls of sand from the playground because “We don’t have any sand at home.”
- Jacuzzis & hot tubs tend to carry lots of bacteria that breeds more quickly because of the heat. Avoid them for a good 8 weeks.
- Swimming pools, if the bacteria doesn’t give you an infection, the chlorine will certainly sting you terribly. You may have read a lot about mommy-baby swimming and how much fun it is. It’s true, mommy-baby swimming is fun, but you will still be able to do it when the baby is 8 weeks old.
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Check out what others are saying about this post...[...] As you know, I avoid talking about sex, even though the question on almost every new mother’s mind is when, or even if, she will ever feel like doing the deed again. There are a lot of reasons for a post partum mother to avoid sex. First, there is the prohibition against doing it while the postpartum blood is still in evidence due to fear of infection. This later progresses to a fear of pain, and goes on to memories of being stitched back together. Add to that sleep starvation, fear of another pregnancy, the hormonal demands and changes of breastfeeding…the lack of desire can fill a room. I would also add anger and/or jealousy to my list of desire killers. My husband, who is an involved father, has still never lost a nights sleep or gone without a shower. And, when I come across a porn site in the browser cache, I don’t feel especially threatened, but jealous that he has the energy for anything remotely sexual in nature. And, if anything in life were fair, if the work in this house and family were anywhere near equal, he wouldn’t even have a spare moment for anything but a brief blog entry to complain about how unattentive I am. So, if you are a new father reading this and looking for ways to ignite your wife’s desire, the answer is simple: get to work, interact with your kids and do housework until you fall into bed completely exhausted for about 6 weeks. Still, I always assumed the irregular nature of the parental sex schedule was temporary. Besides, according to a column in the Guardian about Esther Perel’s book Mating in Captivity – Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic, many long term partnerships experience a time without sex. And it may be a period of time that doesn’t need to be discussed. [...]
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