http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/avoiding-infection/ Adventures in post-partum recovery. Mon, 14 Dec 2009 06:02:41 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/avoiding-infection/comment-page-1/#comment-2513 Babylune Thu, 06 Sep 2007 15:44:39 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/avoiding-infection/#comment-2513 [...] Are you ready to get back in the water? Technorati Tags: baby swimming, reduce family stress, swimming for relaxationShare This [...] [...] Are you ready to get back in the water? Technorati Tags: baby swimming, reduce family stress, swimming for relaxationShare This [...]

]]> http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/avoiding-infection/comment-page-1/#comment-762 Babylune » More Silence on Sex and the New Mother Tue, 10 Oct 2006 13:14:58 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/avoiding-infection/#comment-762 [...] As you know, I avoid talking about sex, even though the question on almost every new mother’s mind is when, or even if, she will ever feel like doing the deed again. There are a lot of reasons for a post partum mother to avoid sex. First, there is the prohibition against doing it while the postpartum blood is still in evidence due to fear of infection. This later progresses to a fear of pain, and goes on to memories of being stitched back together. Add to that sleep starvation, fear of another pregnancy, the hormonal demands and changes of breastfeeding…the lack of desire can fill a room. I would also add anger and/or jealousy to my list of desire killers. My husband, who is an involved father, has still never lost a nights sleep or gone without a shower. And, when I come across a porn site in the browser cache, I don’t feel especially threatened, but jealous that he has the energy for anything remotely sexual in nature. And, if anything in life were fair, if the work in this house and family were anywhere near equal, he wouldn’t even have a spare moment for anything but a brief blog entry to complain about how unattentive I am. So, if you are a new father reading this and looking for ways to ignite your wife’s desire, the answer is simple: get to work, interact with your kids and do housework until you fall into bed completely exhausted for about 6 weeks. Still, I always assumed the irregular nature of the parental sex schedule was temporary. Besides, according to a column in the Guardian about Esther Perel’s book Mating in Captivity - Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic, many long term partnerships experience a time without sex. And it may be a period of time that doesn’t need to be discussed. [...] [...] As you know, I avoid talking about sex, even though the question on almost every new mother’s mind is when, or even if, she will ever feel like doing the deed again. There are a lot of reasons for a post partum mother to avoid sex. First, there is the prohibition against doing it while the postpartum blood is still in evidence due to fear of infection. This later progresses to a fear of pain, and goes on to memories of being stitched back together. Add to that sleep starvation, fear of another pregnancy, the hormonal demands and changes of breastfeeding…the lack of desire can fill a room. I would also add anger and/or jealousy to my list of desire killers. My husband, who is an involved father, has still never lost a nights sleep or gone without a shower. And, when I come across a porn site in the browser cache, I don’t feel especially threatened, but jealous that he has the energy for anything remotely sexual in nature. And, if anything in life were fair, if the work in this house and family were anywhere near equal, he wouldn’t even have a spare moment for anything but a brief blog entry to complain about how unattentive I am. So, if you are a new father reading this and looking for ways to ignite your wife’s desire, the answer is simple: get to work, interact with your kids and do housework until you fall into bed completely exhausted for about 6 weeks. Still, I always assumed the irregular nature of the parental sex schedule was temporary. Besides, according to a column in the Guardian about Esther Perel’s book Mating in Captivity – Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic, many long term partnerships experience a time without sex. And it may be a period of time that doesn’t need to be discussed. [...]

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