Be a Better Mommy – Take Some Time for Yourself

I know I’ve spoke about this before but I wanted to hit on it again, with a new season approaching I think it is even more important. Moms, whether they have one child or more need to take a break from being mom. Yesterday I did just that, I made plans with a neighbor and went out. I had a lot of fun and enjoyed myself for the most part. I haven’t done this in years, but it felt great to just hang with a friend. I even bought myself a few items and treated the mommy/woman in me. Course as I describe below I’m one of those that while shopping I almost didn’t buy my items and almost replaced them with the kids stuff. Not to worry, I walked out with JUST mine.

What do I mean mom needs away?

I think it is essential that you separate a bit of yourself every once in a while to be not just a mom but a woman/yourself. When a mom only stays with her kids and never gets out, they tend to only speak with their children. Your language and the way you speak to others will show this as well.

How can you have Mommy time?

Find someone to watch the kid/kids and make a plan to go out and do something. Or if you find that you can’t escape try laying everyone down for a nap and taking a long soak with a favorite book.If you plan on going out, you need to make sure you stick with it, otherwise your psyche will begin to doubt you the next time or your friends won’t believe it’ll happen. If you find yourself canceling at the last minute, eventually you will stop even attempting to try.

Other ways for Mommy Time at home:
-  wake up earlier than everyone and take a bath/shower
-  Wake up earlier to read that book you’ve been wanting with a nice cup of joe or tea.
-  Light a candle and meditate
- do some yoga/jazz

Things to do outside the home:
-  go to your favorite place by yourself (no not with the kids)
-  try a bookstore
-  Hang out with other moms
-  get your hair/nails done
-  try a pedicure or a manicure
-  ever think of a massage?
-  go see a movie
-  take a bike ride/walk a trail/jog

What can happen if mom doesn’t get time she needs?

Well like many moms, you may be able to just suck it up and take it all in. But if you are like many moms you may notice that you see yourself differently in the mirror, you stop dressing as nice as you once did and maybe you no longer put on make up or do your hair nicely. No this doesn’t happen to every mom, but it can. Other moms will get moody, possibly angry. 

Depression- Some moms will also find themselves in a depression, this happens a lot with new moms too. If you find or even think you are in a depression seek help, go to family/friends/professionals.

You may even find yourself lost, not knowing who you are anymore or what happened to the old you. Not to worry, the old you is still there, but she’s sleeping until you wake her back up.

Mom Guilt

Many moms feel guilty about taking any time for themselves as they feel they are letting down the family. Or that they could be doing something else in the house instead of something for themselves. Ever find yourself in a store for yourself but walk out with something for the kids? Try next time actually buying something, even something small and cheap for yourself and NOTHING for the kids. Just a me thing. There will most likely be guilt, but also think of all those things you have done for them lately and got them.  Do not let anyone make you feel bad about going out by yourself.  You NEED this time away.  The end result will be you will come back feeling much better in mind and physically and very much recharged.

This is the better mom, not the one down in the dumps or not just feeling like herself. Take the time out you need, your family will actually benefit from this new mom.

Mom guilt is something many of us face, it doesn’t matter if it is over not getting something done, doing something for ourselves or just needing a small break, it happens and we all feel it once in a while.

What are ways you spend time by yourself? Any suggestions?

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