Emotions, Hormones & Blogging

The more I look back over past entries, the clearer it becomes how hormones, exhaustion, and the emotional adjustments of mothering a baby affected me.

Last year today, my baby was not quite 6 months old. On this blog, I was holding a vote about what charitable gift to get my my mother for Mothers Day.

In another entry, I wrote about push presents, a trend that started among the wealthier members of our society and caught on. Basically, the father rewards the mother with an expensive gift for producing an heir/heiress. It all sounds very Scarlett O’Hara, but readers actually did some very cool things to mark the births of their children.

At the time, it didn’t occur to me that the two posts might have been related, that one might have been a reaction against the other or that I could have linked them. I suppose I could blame it on the famous “mommy brain” syndrome. Back then, in order to get anything done, I had to focus immediately, get into the task and get it done as quickly as possible. Not surprisingly, I made many, many mistakes typing and spacing the posts. There was no looking back, there was no proof-reading there was just the next thing to do. I feel a bit anxious just remembering how frantic everything was then.

Do I have more time now? If anything, because I am working outside the home even more now, I have less. The problem is that my ambitions have caught up. I want to take more on, but the realization that I must be more careful and take more time to complete tasks is a habit I’ve fallen out of from doing so much with so little. It’s a hard habit to break, but looking back has given me the awareness that it needs changing.

Has anyone else had this experience?