Hunger & Losing Baby Weight

Right after the baby was born, I was obsessed with losing weight without actually doing anything about it. Having struggled with being overweight in the past, I knew it wasn’t something I could be abstract about. And yet, it took me well over a year to get down to business and take care of myself, which finally meant addressing weight gain.

Emotionally, it wasn’t pretty. A friend of mine often talks about the necessity of valuing oneself. She means cultivating the inner light, the life spark that says “I am here, I am worthy.”

It isn’t selfish to cultivate love, even self-love, but when one’s attentions are always being drawn away from oneself toward children, partners and work, talking about it can make one feel even more guilty. Lamenting not caring for oneself can take you even further from the path toward self-care. At least, that’s what happened to me.
I could eat for energy when I couldn’t sleep. I could comfort eat when I couldn’t change my situation. I could medicate with sweets when life made me bitter. It was all disguised as taking care of myself.

I sound new-agey here and, really, I am fine with that. Cue the music mixed with waterfalls and rainsong.

What made me change my mind? What brought the change? I don’t know yet, but I hope to figure it out in time.