Mom-Me Versus Me-Me
March 18, 2006 by kate baggott
Filed under Mental Health
It’s often said that “people don’t change.”
I don’t believe it, myself. True, boyfriends don’t change for their girlfriends, husbands don’t change for their wives (I suspect the opposite is also true), but people do evolve, develop, improve and the same principle works in negative ways too. I, for one, have changed a lot.
I used to be cool. It was more of an accidental coolness and it didn’t last very long. The Internet industry was hot, hot, hot, I was in the middle of it all and, it so happened, I was naturally geeky in an era when being geeky was the height of fashion. For a very brief period I knew where every place to be, was.
Now, I am a mother. I have a fading tattoo on my hip with stretch marks running through it. I face challenging choices brought on by my former self. Do I get the ink re-touched or do I just get the darn thing removed? I no longer have the income to go to the Elmwood for regular spa maintenance. And, with the aches and pains of pregnancy and delivery still troubling me, plus the safety issues of balancing a baby in my arms, I wear running shoes almost all the time.
There are women who manage to be mothers and maintain some semblance of hipness. An entire industry has sprung up that caters to hip mamas, yummy mummies and MILFs. I want to be part of the hot breeder phenom. It appeals to me on so many levels, but my personal energy management plan demands that I only spend time on things that I actually find important.
I bring this up because I am home. A friend of mine from high school came into town with her daughter to visit both her parents and my brood. She looked fantastic. She looked exactly the way she did in high school, retro-hip and elegant. And yet, motherhood has changed her too. She speaks to her daughter carefully, thoughtfully and with a benevolent authority that was never there when we were younger. And yet, in all her momness, there is an essential coolness, a street cred, a timeless with-it jazz cat mod girl.
So, I asked her where I can get some decent shoes that will let me carry a baby around, chase after a three year-old and still have a little style. Pulling on my running shoes every day is getting me down. Even I know there is a difference between frumpy-mummy and dumpy-mummy.
She recommended Blundstones and, I, am going shopping.
Fun! Shopping! Oh man ! That is the hugest motivator for me to get back into shape!!! New clothes! Walking back to the Mimi maternity last week to get nursing bras- we passed a rack of BCBG(my favourite fancy dress and clothes store!) and I positively drooled! Still a ways to go with the hips and butt – but getting there!!
I wear Blundstones! You are on your way to being as hip as me! (Harhar).
I can so relate. I don’t know if I was ever exactly a hip cat to others, but I was in my old mind. I still can’t bear the thought of looking like (or being) a Soccer Mom. After I finished breastfeeding, and I lost the bulk of the baby weight, I went through the closet, threw out all trousers with elastic tops, and all overalls. Going back to work has helped — more in a grown up way than a hip way. And yesterday I went out and bought some proper bras, nice ones, pretty ones, for the first time since the babies were born. It’s a work in progress.
I have some tips for staying hip postpartum. I had my daughter three weeks ago. I love being a mum but think it is important to keep myself looking sharp even though my body is anything but in shape. Buy a belted trench coat, it gives you a waist and looks classic. Get a pair of blowfish flats, they have the best non slip soles and are uber stylish. Right now the weather is chilly so I live in my Frye campus boots, they look awesome with dresses. I still wear my maternity dresses but style them up with some belts that accent my waist. I have no time to fix my hair so when I go out I wear a conductor cap with a low pony tail, add some large Jackie O shades and I feel put together. Last but not least I got press on nail polish. Its sheets of polish that instantly transfer to your nails, there is no need to dry so you can still attend to your little one. I hope some of these tips help all of you hot mommies out there!