Comments on: My Sleep Obsession http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/my-sleep-obsession/ Adventures in post-partum recovery. Sun, 06 Dec 2009 02:31:52 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Babylune » More Silence on Sex and the New Mother http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/my-sleep-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-763 Babylune » More Silence on Sex and the New Mother Tue, 10 Oct 2006 13:15:14 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/my-sleep-obsession/#comment-763 [...] As you know, I avoid talking about sex, even though the question on almost every new mother’s mind is when, or even if, she will ever feel like doing the deed again. There are a lot of reasons for a post partum mother to avoid sex. First, there is the prohibition against doing it while the postpartum blood is still in evidence due to fear of infection. This later progresses to a fear of pain, and goes on to memories of being stitched back together. Add to that sleep starvation, fear of another pregnancy, the hormonal demands and changes of breastfeeding…the lack of desire can fill a room. I would also add anger and/or jealousy to my list of desire killers. My husband, who is an involved father, has still never lost a nights sleep or gone without a shower. And, when I come across a porn site in the browser cache, I don’t feel especially threatened, but jealous that he has the energy for anything remotely sexual in nature. And, if anything in life were fair, if the work in this house and family were anywhere near equal, he wouldn’t even have a spare moment for anything but a brief blog entry to complain about how unattentive I am. So, if you are a new father reading this and looking for ways to ignite your wife’s desire, the answer is simple: get to work, interact with your kids and do housework until you fall into bed completely exhausted for about 6 weeks. Still, I always assumed the irregular nature of the parental sex schedule was temporary. Besides, according to a column in the Guardian about Esther Perel’s book Mating in Captivity - Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic, many long term partnerships experience a time without sex. And it may be a period of time that doesn’t need to be discussed. [...] [...] As you know, I avoid talking about sex, even though the question on almost every new mother’s mind is when, or even if, she will ever feel like doing the deed again. There are a lot of reasons for a post partum mother to avoid sex. First, there is the prohibition against doing it while the postpartum blood is still in evidence due to fear of infection. This later progresses to a fear of pain, and goes on to memories of being stitched back together. Add to that sleep starvation, fear of another pregnancy, the hormonal demands and changes of breastfeeding…the lack of desire can fill a room. I would also add anger and/or jealousy to my list of desire killers. My husband, who is an involved father, has still never lost a nights sleep or gone without a shower. And, when I come across a porn site in the browser cache, I don’t feel especially threatened, but jealous that he has the energy for anything remotely sexual in nature. And, if anything in life were fair, if the work in this house and family were anywhere near equal, he wouldn’t even have a spare moment for anything but a brief blog entry to complain about how unattentive I am. So, if you are a new father reading this and looking for ways to ignite your wife’s desire, the answer is simple: get to work, interact with your kids and do housework until you fall into bed completely exhausted for about 6 weeks. Still, I always assumed the irregular nature of the parental sex schedule was temporary. Besides, according to a column in the Guardian about Esther Perel’s book Mating in Captivity – Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic, many long term partnerships experience a time without sex. And it may be a period of time that doesn’t need to be discussed. [...]

]]> By: Play Library » Need a Nightlight? http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/my-sleep-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-716 Play Library » Need a Nightlight? Sat, 30 Sep 2006 08:36:38 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/my-sleep-obsession/#comment-716 [...] Sleeping in is something in the past for me so I can understand why Kate at Babylune is obssessed with sleep. She’s so obsessed that she collected some posts from around the b5media Family and Relationships Channel all about sleep. Wish I could lie down right now and snooze. Instead, I’m going to go do the laundry. [...] [...] Sleeping in is something in the past for me so I can understand why Kate at Babylune is obssessed with sleep. She’s so obsessed that she collected some posts from around the b5media Family and Relationships Channel all about sleep. Wish I could lie down right now and snooze. Instead, I’m going to go do the laundry. [...]

]]> By: Kate http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/my-sleep-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-715 Kate Sat, 30 Sep 2006 05:18:40 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/my-sleep-obsession/#comment-715 Co-sleeping and night weaning are an almost impossible combination, but I think I got my first son through the night using the No Cry Sleep Solution when he was about 13 months old. Co-sleeping and night weaning are an almost impossible combination, but I think I got my first son through the night using the No Cry Sleep Solution when he was about 13 months old.

]]> By: Ann D http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/my-sleep-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-713 Ann D Sat, 30 Sep 2006 01:20:41 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/my-sleep-obsession/#comment-713 Hey, Babylune - I wish I could send the sleep fairygodmother your way. (If only I had her address.) I happened to stumble across your blog via your bookstore which I found because you happened to include my book Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler as one of your book picks. I just wanted to say thank you for including my book and to wish you as much sleep as can be expected at this time in your life. (Or more, if you've got a flock of nurturing women around you.) All the best to you and your babe! PS -- I love so many of your other book picks. I think I'm going to go on (yet another) book shopping spree. Thanks -- I think. :-) Hey, Babylune -

I wish I could send the sleep fairygodmother your way. (If only I had her address.) I happened to stumble across your blog via your bookstore which I found because you happened to include my book Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler as one of your book picks. I just wanted to say thank you for including my book and to wish you as much sleep as can be expected at this time in your life. (Or more, if you’ve got a flock of nurturing women around you.) All the best to you and your babe!

PS — I love so many of your other book picks. I think I’m going to go on (yet another) book shopping spree. Thanks — I think. :-)

]]> By: Robyn Tippins http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/my-sleep-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-712 Robyn Tippins Fri, 29 Sep 2006 20:43:38 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/my-sleep-obsession/#comment-712 Good one, I'd not have connected the sex post to sleep ;) If I could just get the 18 month old kid out of my bed I'd get some sleep, but as it is I'm nursing or tossing and turning for more room all night (and doesn't 6am come early? ugh) Who'd have thought a baby that weighs 21 lbs could be such a bed hog? Good one, I’d not have connected the sex post to sleep ;)

If I could just get the 18 month old kid out of my bed I’d get some sleep, but as it is I’m nursing or tossing and turning for more room all night (and doesn’t 6am come early? ugh) Who’d have thought a baby that weighs 21 lbs could be such a bed hog?

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