Preparing Children for Bad Things that Could Happen

This is a long rambling entry, but I am going somewhere interesting with it, so please stick with me.

The other day, beans made me think of bad things. In a good way.

In July, my five year-old and I took a few dried white beans from our cupboard and sprouted them with a bit of water. I think the beans were about a year old. We planted the little sprouts, watched them break through the soil, left the little pots out on the balcony and went on vacation for five weeks.

Our baby beans thrived on neglect. Yesterday, I transplanted one of them into a larger container and noticed that some of the green beans are almost ready to eat. Life is always a miracle and I remember, in fifth grade, how our teacher (Hi Mrs. Holmes!) used beans to show us the whole process of growth.

This time though, I had other thoughts.

“To prevent famine,” I told my husband, “everyone should be required to keep a kilogram of dried beans in the cupboard all the time.”

My husband’s face took on a “there she goes again” expression. He thinks I am a bit pessimistic. I think I am just realistic. After all, the global climate is unpredictable, the political situation is unpredictable and everyone with Internet access can learn how to make a weapon. Remembering how resilient a baby bean can be actually made me feel good about humanity’s survival.

I guess you could also say I was a good Girl Guide. I believe in being prepared.

We should also prepare our children for the bad things that could happen, says one expert.

“Give children enough information that they feel empowered to know what to do in an emergency,” says Assistant Professor Judith Myers-Walls. “Don’t rely on one big talk, but instead look for teachable moments, because you will have to present these lessons repeatedly through the years.”

Obviously, we don’t want to focus on the negative or feed fear over something that may not happen. Myers-Walls says that preparedness lessons can be part of everyday life. It can even be fun.

“Tornado drills can be turned into a monthly picnic in the basement where the family eats emergency rations from a can, listens to a battery-powered radio and plays board games lit by flashlights,” Myers-Walls says. “That’s not scary, and it fosters family togetherness, whether or not that family ever has to face that emergency.”

Myers-Wells says that protecting children from knowing about frightening realities is counterproductive. Media reports saturate everything. Children already know the world can be a dangerous place and that people are not always good.

“Unfortunately, much of what they know is only partially true or even completely misunderstood,” Myers-Walls says. “Let children know that it is OK for them to ask questions, and listen to what they are thinking, even if the topic is difficult or uncomfortable.”

Here are some other tips for helping children prepare for disaster without learning to fear it:

• “Television news caters to human curiosity and dread when it repeatedly presents images of jumbled trailer parks, collapsing skyscrapers and wiped-out beach resorts,” she says. “Children need to know that these images in their living room are often made scarier by what shots are selected and music that is added afterward. They should know that disaster is highly unlikely to strike their home and, if it does, the parents will do everything they can to keep the kids safe.”
• “A man with a gun is usually not a criminal; more often he is a police officer or National Guardsman. Dark clouds far more often bring crop-nurturing rain than dangerous tornadoes,” Myers-Walls says. “We need to give children perspective and teach them when it is reasonable to be afraid.”
• Providing tools and strategies for preparedness can calm fear and increase confidence. The practical knowledge helps children feel more in control. Parents can help children develop a sense of control by finding ways to help victims of disasters.
• “Children can learn how to care for others, and those acts can also help the children themselves to feel more secure and hopeful,” Myers-Wall says. “They may think that if they helped others, someone will help them, too, if disaster ever invades their lives. That kind of hope is one of the most powerful preparedness tools.”