Comments on: Regretting Motherhood? You Aren’t Alone http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/ Adventures in post-partum recovery. Tue, 08 Dec 2009 03:13:20 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: kcam http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-9075 kcam Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:19:49 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/#comment-9075 I have to agree with this last comment. I do not blame it on my children- they are wonderful. But i regret having children. Since becoming a mom i have suffered from moderate depression (not post-partum- my kids are 2 and 4 and i am still suffering) I am always frustrated and unhappy and worrying myself into frenzies. I had a history of mild depression before having kids when i was a teenager but it had disappeared by adult hood and i had a 6 year run of happiness with very few episodes. And then i had kids and it has gotten to the point where i just can't wait to get away from them and regret having to spend extensive time with them. I feel very guilty about this- my kids do not deserve this but i cannot help how i feel. I am not lazy- it isn't the hard work- i have always been a hard worker willing to accept challenges. But the psychological and emotional aspects of motherhood are doing me in. My marriage is definitely suffering but that's another story. So while i think it was disrespectful and weird to write this book knowing your kids will one day read it (i would have used a pseudonym and not undergone interviews) I do understand the notion of explaining how hard childrearing really is. I have to agree with this last comment. I do not blame it on my children- they are wonderful. But i regret having children. Since becoming a mom i have suffered from moderate depression (not post-partum- my kids are 2 and 4 and i am still suffering) I am always frustrated and unhappy and worrying myself into frenzies. I had a history of mild depression before having kids when i was a teenager but it had disappeared by adult hood and i had a 6 year run of happiness with very few episodes. And then i had kids and it has gotten to the point where i just can’t wait to get away from them and regret having to spend extensive time with them. I feel very guilty about this- my kids do not deserve this but i cannot help how i feel. I am not lazy- it isn’t the hard work- i have always been a hard worker willing to accept challenges. But the psychological and emotional aspects of motherhood are doing me in. My marriage is definitely suffering but that’s another story. So while i think it was disrespectful and weird to write this book knowing your kids will one day read it (i would have used a pseudonym and not undergone interviews) I do understand the notion of explaining how hard childrearing really is.

]]> By: str8six http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-5415 str8six Sat, 14 Jun 2008 21:17:04 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/#comment-5415 (I know this is quite late)...What makes the child-free less able to 'cut it' than the childed who made a mistake (which is a significant number based on my own many years on this earth)? The child-free have thought long and hard about the repercussions regarding parent-hood, and probably have a much better realistic approach to what it entails. They know the 'kodak moments' are a farce, and are a very small part of being a PROPER parent. Some of you have taken an offensive approach to the authors' personal experiences regarding being childed. Why? It is not a personal attack on YOU. It is this one persons experience. And probably the feeling of many, if not most, parents of today. It's just too taboo to admit. It's a shame really, that the realities of parenthood aren't made public. If they were, perhaps more people would actually THINK before taking on 'The Most Important Job In The World" (I know this is quite late)…What makes the child-free less able to ‘cut it’ than the childed who made a mistake (which is a significant number based on my own many years on this earth)?

The child-free have thought long and hard about the repercussions regarding parent-hood, and probably have a much better realistic approach to what it entails. They know the ‘kodak moments’ are a farce, and are a very small part of being a PROPER parent.

Some of you have taken an offensive approach to the authors’ personal experiences regarding being childed. Why? It is not a personal attack on YOU. It is this one persons experience. And probably the feeling of many, if not most, parents of today. It’s just too taboo to admit. It’s a shame really, that the realities of parenthood aren’t made public. If they were, perhaps more people would actually THINK before taking on ‘The Most Important Job In The World”

]]> By: #23. Sad, But True Speed Links for Saturday http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-2824 #23. Sad, But True Speed Links for Saturday Sat, 20 Oct 2007 14:56:34 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/#comment-2824 [...] Not everyone is cut out for parenthood. If you’re not, you’d better find that out before you reproduce. Share This Related Stories#18. Sad, But True, Speed Links for Saturday#22. Sad But True Speed Links For SaturdayWorking for the Weekend?#21. Sad, But True, Speed Links for Saturday.#17. Sad, But True, Speed Links for Saturday [...] [...] Not everyone is cut out for parenthood. If you’re not, you’d better find that out before you reproduce. Share This Related Stories#18. Sad, But True, Speed Links for Saturday#22. Sad But True Speed Links For SaturdayWorking for the Weekend?#21. Sad, But True, Speed Links for Saturday.#17. Sad, But True, Speed Links for Saturday [...]

]]> By: John http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-2805 John Wed, 17 Oct 2007 09:17:22 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/#comment-2805 Tracee, Good comment. I am a father of two and regret I have them. I feel that would-be parents are simply misinformed by other parents about the hardships of parenthood. There is also quite some research available about the effects of having children on your happiness. And guess, couples without children are in general happier than those with offspring. Only when the children leave the house the happiness level increases again. The decision to have children is often more based on sentimental reasons than facts and rationality. People do not see that the decision to have children is the most important one you make in your life. The discussion about children is often dominated by parents that defend their decision very strongly. On the other hand, the childfree are as strong in their opinion not to have children. It is a good thing that mothers like Mrs. Maier speak out and tell the truth. Tracee,
Good comment. I am a father of two and regret I have them. I feel that would-be parents are simply misinformed by other parents about the hardships of parenthood. There is also quite some research available about the effects of having children on your happiness. And guess, couples without children are in general happier than those with offspring. Only when the children leave the house the happiness level increases again. The decision to have children is often more based on sentimental reasons than facts and rationality. People do not see that the decision to have children is the most important one you make in your life. The discussion about children is often dominated by parents that defend their decision very strongly. On the other hand, the childfree are as strong in their opinion not to have children. It is a good thing that mothers like Mrs. Maier speak out and tell the truth.

]]> By: Cozmo http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-2848 Cozmo Mon, 15 Oct 2007 20:57:07 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/#comment-2848 Having kids hoping it'll help you financially in the future? That sounds like a really bad idea. Europeans must be crazy. :) Having kids hoping it’ll help you financially in the future? That sounds like a really bad idea. Europeans must be crazy. :)

]]> By: Kate http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-2665 Kate Sun, 07 Oct 2007 20:42:59 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/#comment-2665 Madame- It is shocking. Madame- It is shocking.

]]> By: Madame M http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-2667 Madame M Sun, 07 Oct 2007 19:49:36 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/#comment-2667 It seems to me that this book's bitterness kind of obliterates the good it does seem to have. Reading about the disappointment in children hurt me personally-- made me wonder about my own parents and about my child; it's a hurtful and nasty thing to say, even as a joke or as a sarcastic and somewhat true social observation. It seems to me that this book’s bitterness kind of obliterates the good it does seem to have. Reading about the disappointment in children hurt me personally– made me wonder about my own parents and about my child; it’s a hurtful and nasty thing to say, even as a joke or as a sarcastic and somewhat true social observation.

]]> By: kbaggott http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-2675 kbaggott Sun, 07 Oct 2007 16:34:11 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/#comment-2675 Exactly Tracee. I think it also needs to be said that it is completely OK for women not to be cut out for motherhood. It isn't as if they are missing a piece. Exactly Tracee. I think it also needs to be said that it is completely OK for women not to be cut out for motherhood. It isn’t as if they are missing a piece.

]]> By: Tracee Sioux http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-2641 Tracee Sioux Sun, 07 Oct 2007 13:53:21 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/#comment-2641 Is it satire? Not being in the culture it's difficult for me to see it in context. I can see where it would have a place in feminism. For thousands of years our only function in life was to breed. Now, we get to choose our own function. I think it's better for some women to choose no kids because motherhood is really NOT a piece of cake. Perhaps her intention is to tell the truth about what kind of sacrifices being a mother is about. I mean, in the USA we act like it's this big fulfilling party. Lots of mothers are shocked to discover how labor-intensive it is. How many bad feelings are attached. How really self-sacrificing you have to be to make it work. Much of what we hear about motherhood is fictional. Or it doesn't turn out to be truly universal or it's way more complicated than it was made out to be. But, then we feel guilty for acknowledging that fact. Not everyone is cut out for it. Perhaps the author's intent is to point out the reality of the labor, work and sacrifice involved and then if you decide you want it anyway you're making a better decision? Motherhood is delicious, but much more painful than I thought it would be. I wouldn't change it for myself, but I can see where some women might decide it's not really something they would like doing. It is a pretty permanent decision so perhaps it deserves more scrutiny. It's not like you can take it back or change your mind. So maybe a book like this has a valid place in the collective consciousness of femininity. Very interesting Kate. I'm going to link-up and copy and paste on BlogFab. Is it satire? Not being in the culture it’s difficult for me to see it in context.

I can see where it would have a place in feminism. For thousands of years our only function in life was to breed. Now, we get to choose our own function. I think it’s better for some women to choose no kids because motherhood is really NOT a piece of cake.

Perhaps her intention is to tell the truth about what kind of sacrifices being a mother is about. I mean, in the USA we act like it’s this big fulfilling party. Lots of mothers are shocked to discover how labor-intensive it is. How many bad feelings are attached. How really self-sacrificing you have to be to make it work. Much of what we hear about motherhood is fictional. Or it doesn’t turn out to be truly universal or it’s way more complicated than it was made out to be. But, then we feel guilty for acknowledging that fact.

Not everyone is cut out for it. Perhaps the author’s intent is to point out the reality of the labor, work and sacrifice involved and then if you decide you want it anyway you’re making a better decision?

Motherhood is delicious, but much more painful than I thought it would be. I wouldn’t change it for myself, but I can see where some women might decide it’s not really something they would like doing. It is a pretty permanent decision so perhaps it deserves more scrutiny. It’s not like you can take it back or change your mind.

So maybe a book like this has a valid place in the collective consciousness of femininity.

Very interesting Kate. I’m going to link-up and copy and paste on BlogFab.

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-2666 Jennifer Sun, 07 Oct 2007 09:13:31 +0000 http://www.babylune.com/regretting-motherhood-you-arent-alone/#comment-2666 Hmmm, you're right about the opposition needed -- that is lame. But this, like you said is not the way to do it. Maybe you should write a book. Hmmm, you’re right about the opposition needed — that is lame. But this, like you said is not the way to do it. Maybe you should write a book.

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