Setting Goals

Be a Good Dad tagged me to set some goals according to Alex Shalman’s meme. I’ve always been ambitious and set goals for myself. The problem being that my ambition isn’t necessarily good for my goals and it has been very, very difficult for me to accept that being a mother of two small children does limit how productive I can be outside my family sphere. In the past, my goals have been totally unrealistic.

I guess that brings me to goal number one. Learn how to guage what I can and can’t do in the time I have. Professionally, that means not selling my time too cheaply or trying to accomplish a lot for too little. In the family sphere that means not over-programming the kids and I with activities, social events and responsibility. In terms of how I relate to the world, it means I must finally learn how to say no. I feel like I am always stepping in to help people out who don’t really need me or who could solve their own problems just because I want them to like me. I think my self-esteem should be stronger than that.

Goal number two is to learn how to just let little things go. I am too easily outraged by every piece of news commentary that seems ignorant or short-sighted, by every word that doesn’t seem quite true, or by the tendency to gloss over realities…especially the ones making my life difficult. I need to focus on what is truly important to me and direct my energies there. I can’t go around demanding that everyone tell the complete and absolute truth all the time when I’m not perfect.

Goal number three is to get my financial house in order. I still have to do my tax return for the year and I have no savings for retirement or for the kids education. On the upside, after paying off my student loans, I have no debt and want to keep it that way. I know how to write a business plan, how to calculate profit projections for new companies and how to price business services provided by others, but I can’t seem to figure out how to make the same investment of time and energy into managing my own family’s money. Obviously, I have a lot to learn on the personal finance front.

Goal number four is very difficult to put into words. I need to spend less time connected to the Internet. I need to take more breaks from blogging and stop checking my email obsessively. I’ve done a lot of writing about tech addiction and am convinced that not being able to step away is a huge problem. The heart-breaking thing addicts don’t understand (or manage to convince themselves is not true) is that every time they take a fix, really are they are sending a message that their fix of choice – whether a cigarette, alcohol or an online application – is more important to them than the people who love them and need them. I never want my children to get that impression about anything I do.

And goal number five is to do something just because I enjoy it. Every day. I do a lot because I have to (or feel I have to), I do a lot because it’s good for the kids or good for me, I do a lot because my husband wants me to, but there seldom seems to be time for me to do something, like swimming or yoga or drawing, just because I love to do it.

I hope I haven’t bitten off more than I can chew by writing this list and committing to my goals in public like this. Alex asked everyone to tag other bloggers for this meme, but writing made me feel a bit naked. So, call me a voyeur, but if you decide to do the meme, will you leave a comment so I can read your goals?