Surviving Infant Hospitalization

Jaundice. A year ago, three days before Christmas, it put my little baby in hospital when she was just six days old. I stayed with her, confined to a hard chair beside her cot in the infant ward.

I had a slight fever, a headache, my stitched together nether regions hurt in their special way, I was worried about a number of infections, my breasts were swollen and, before the doctor’s office called with the blood test results, I had planned to do a few holiday preparations and then spend the rest of the day in bed.

The phone call changed everything. We had to travel to admit our little yellow baby to the children’s clinic 20km away and I did not want to leave my baby alone in the hospital where there were a minimum of nursing and medical staff for the holidays.

What followed, was three days of Hell. I talked to my friend Alison, whose first daughter was hydrocephalic, about hospital stays with an infant about how to survive you infant’s hospitalization. This is what we came up with:

1. Follow you instincts. If they are telling you not to leave your baby for the night, don’t.

2. Take breaks. If you can pump milk and take two hours to go home, shower, change clothes and eat a decent meal, do. If you can’t, have someone bring you fruit juice, fresh vegetables and clean jogging pants.

3. Go ahead and judge. Normally, it’s a waste of energy to judge other people’s parenting choices. However, in the children’s hospitals, you will see many different bedside styles. There are parents who sleep at the hospital, those who sit be the cot all night and wouldn’t think of closing their eyes, those who come in and visit two or three times a day, and those who come every evening with an entourage of friends to show off their baby and have a little party in the ward. In this case, it’s better just to classify these people as devoted or neglectful or stupid parents and ignore them. It really clears up psychic space to know who and what you’re dealing with. However, this snap judgement is purely for your own ease of existence, don’t expect anyone to agree with you.

4. Be vocal. If you feel your child could be better taken care of at home, say so. If you think that the IV isn’t being carefully monitored, tell the nurse. The more vocal you are, the more careful they know they need to be.

5. Talk to your other children every day and make sure they know what it happening to an age appropriate level. Let them know that you love them, but that life is not normal for any of you through circumstances no one can control.

6. Get ten minutes of fresh air every two hours. Go outside and breathe. You might also want to meditate or pray.
Hospitalization of children is horrible for the whole family. I hope you don’t have to experience it, but if you have, do you have any advice for mothers in this position?