The Babylune Guide to Hemorroids

Ah, the theme of maternal glamour runs deep in this blog.

Or, as I always say, if you can’t be cool, you’d better be honest.

So today, we’re going back to the Long List of Postpartum Discomforts to deal with one of the side-effects of the pressures of pregnancy followed by pushing, pushing and pushing: Hemorroids.

There was a time that I didn’t even know what hemorroids were. Years and years of Preparation H commercials never gave me answer. Then, on a visit to Newfoundland where I had dinner with a new mother and her friends, I had the opportunity to ask a nurse. It’s when the lining of the rectal glands gets so stretched and swollen that it gets pushed out with whatever else is in there. While new mothers experience the extreme of this pushing, similar irritations can happen when weight lifters overstrain or office workers who sit all day need to use too much pressure to get things moving.

Needless to say, *sigh*, I certainly know what hemorroids are now. How to treat the itching and burning when you can’t sit down after giving birth are just extra annoyances. Luckily, there are a number of resources available to teach mothers how to care for this delicate problem. Dr. Spock’s site has a general overview of piles and their causes during pregnancy and birth. Ehow.com has an easy-to-read list of ten steps including advice I had never thought of: put a hemorroid pad on top of your maxi pad.

Here are my tricks:

1. Try not to sit down when you can lie down. It’s a good time to learn how to nurse lying on your side anyway (by the way if this nursing position doesn’t work the first time, don’t give up try again a few days later it’s bliss).
2. Don’t waste your time with hemorroid pads. Get a regular bottle of witch hazel from the drug store and make up-remover pads. Keep the witch hazel in the fridge and soak a cotton pad whenever you need relief.
3. If your midwife recommends a topical cream containing herbal ointment, like , you can take a piece of clean plastic wrap and put a line of ointment on it about half the size and thickness of your pinky finger. Freeze the ointment in the wrap and use it as a suppository to help soothe when you need to push out something that is not a baby.

Now, I really do think I can write about anything.