To Spank or Not to Spank
July 22, 2008 by Eliza Ferree
Filed under News & Media
Now, I know what many are already going to say but imagine yourself sitting with your kids, one of which is an active toddler on the curb watching a parade go by. There are cars with clowns, people waving (maybe the Mayor), horses, bands, etc. Suddenly your daughter darts out into the road. She could’ve been hit by that car that is standing directly in front of her. You swat her bottom and say, “We don’t run into the road.”
Does this sound like a typical reaction? Or should you have calmly looked at your daughter and said, “Will you please move out of the way of the car, it might not have time to stop?” Of course not, you know and I know that you are going to RUN to get her. There is no choice in the matter, she can get hit. Plus if you don’t correct her you know in a few minutes she’ll do it again, next time she may end up as road kill. Try keeping a 2 year old from wanting in the road.
Which do you do?
A. Place her in your lap.
B. Let her run wild because even holding her is a bad thing.
Well, it seems a mom recently did exactly that. She took her daughter, Laila age 2, to the town parade for the 4th of July and of course her daughter wanted to run out into the road toward the parade. But this quick thinking mom placed her in her lap. Course like any toddler that wants to do something she fought her momma. Squirming left and right, back and forth, finally after changing sides of her laps and on her knees and in between her legs she finally popped her bottom and said no. Finally she turned her towards her and held her against her chest to calm her, stroking her hair. This calmed the child but it would only be a few minutes before more interruptions.
Now across the street, bystanders only saw what they saw, they weren’t paying attention to the whole thing. They saw a woman holding her child and swat her then holding her against her chest. According to reports they thought the mom was SMOTHERING her? Smothering? In broad daylight? In front of EVERYONE?
An older man came over and lectured Melissa Farrell (the mom), she basically ignored the guy until a few minutes later when cops surrounded her. They looked the little baby over and saw no marks, no injuries, etc. However, they still gave her a ticket and now she must go to court to see what the judge decides.
Coeur d’Alene Press Newspaper:
“There are nine other witnesses that basically feel she caused injury to her child,” Clark said. “They were up in arms and wanted us to do something.”
Eight witnesses signed statements, Clark said.
“They described it as she was slamming her on the ground and smothering her as she was holding her,” Clark said. “It will be up to the judge to decide whether that action that was committed was a crime or not.”
He added “The officer said there were no visible signs of injury.”
Here’s a question…out of those 9 possible witnesses how many of them were together? Were they all part of one large group? If so they may have been influenced by one angry person that didn’t see the entire thing and only saw part of it. If this is the case, how can they go with that? Plus the officer checked the little girl over. I’m sure if she was crying or hurt they would’ve taken her immediately. Am I right?
Another question: Had Melissa not corrected her child or ran after her and she got hit, would she be accused of abuse for letting it happen? I’m sure these “other” people would’ve been upset that she did NOT spank her child. This was a no win situation for Melissa and I’m sure she never wants to enter town again, let alone now she must worry that the state may take her precious child from her. What are your thoughts on this?
That’s just insanity. What kind of a world are we living in that we cannot even TOUCH our own child?
Why on earth would you give a ticket for that? Geez! (Nice waste of resources there)
Thank you, I wondered how many were going to say they police were right. I know the ticket threw me too. She gets a ticket and now much go in front of a judge.
Holy shitballs… I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to take drastic measures to keep my crazy little kids from killing themselves. Not abusive measures but bottom spanking or physical restraint. I would have been PISSED if the cops questioned me. Didn’t anyone defend that poor woman?
not by the sounds of it.
Wow! And they wonder why kids are wild little hethens in public these days, it’s all because every parent is terrified to so much as yell at them in case someone hears and blows it out of proportion like they apparently did this one. It’s horrible that taking care of your child is practically illegal these days. I wonder how much exposure to toddlers these people who made the complaint had. Because I’m sure if they had any they would have immediately recognized this for what it was, a mom protecting and correcting her child and then comforting her afterwards. All I have to say is “FREE MELISSA!!”
This is why it is so CRITICAL to properly train your kids at home, when they are not in danger, under stress, nor in the public view. The only thing she did wrong here was to not have a perfectly obedient child (and who has that!?).
I understand that people don’t want kids to be abused, but the last time I checked it was still LEGAL to spank our children. If parents have their rights taken away, the next generations will only get worse and worse, thus affecting our nation as a whole.
One of the things I do when my kids are acting like this is to use small pinches to remind them of my expectations. They hurt enough to change behavior but not enough to leave a mark. I don’t care what people think – I won’t allow my child to get run over by a car (a pinch or spanking hurts far less)!
I think this is a difficult one to take sides on, although the mum was definitely in the right in my opinion, but so were those who “thought they saw a child being slammed into the pavement and smothered”. I think the only idiot here is the police officer, who could quite easily have questioned witnesses standing next to the mum and resolved the case there and then. If I saw what I thought was a parent physically abusing a child, I would like to think I would do something about it. Even if it turned out I’m wrong, better for me to look stupid than a child to get hurt.
Please Kate, stop yelling at your kind and sweet husband. I agree with him, it is so embarrassing to be yelled at across a room full of other people. You come across as being arrogant and needing attention. It’s as if you you feel that you are not getting enough of the publics attention with all of those beautiful little children. That along with correcting your hubby’s grammar, complaining about his breathing, and almost everything that he does, all on TV – it is a super negative impact on your personality, not his. I think most of the public just feels sorry for him that you treat him in this way. I believe that the public has heard “HELLO” enough, can you please find another byword for a change? Every time that I hear you yell “HELLO” my hair just stands on end. The plane trip that your family took for a vacation of skiing was such a disaster because you upset your children by going into a Boo-Hoo session (seemingly to get attention). This set all of your children into a crying mode I am sure because they did not understand what was happening. Kate, for your childrens sake, stop the dramatics and attempt to console your children in situations like that. I know that you have your hands full, but try to understand what these negative situations are doing to your little children. Don’t add fuel to the fire by bringing your dramatics into the picture/situation. I am sorry to be so blunt, but it is indeed such a negative reflection on your behalf, plus it is confusing your children and causes them to cry a lot. Lighten up.
I know both Melissa and her husband. I have known them for several years. I know first hand that Melissa would NEVER intentionally hurt her child. She was obviously trying to keep her daughter from being ran over. This whole thing is absolutely ridiculous. I can’t believe that those people had enough nerve to say such things about her. They obviously have no idea what they are talking about.
This is a difficult one to completely judge from the outside. The fact that there were 9 witnesses who claim this woman was hurting her child makes me inclined to think it was more forceful than necessary. That being said, I certainly don’t think a mother should be ticketed for spanking her child. I’m not necessarily pro-spanking, but I don’t think it’s something that should be banned and I do think it can be used effectively at times. There’s a really great debate about spanking at http://www.opposingviews.com/questions/is-spanking-an-acceptable-form-of-discipline. Experts from both sides weigh in and make some really interesting points.
I watched the Utah Ski Trip episode again recently and was again really upset at the way Kate was too ill to help Jon get all of the children dressed in their ski outfits and on their way to the ski school, just Jon and one of the ladies that traveled with them. The next scenes were of Kate and the other friend on their way to the spa for the day–since Jon and the friend were taking care of all of the children for the day. Kate seemed to be okay then and just happy as a lark to be able to go to the spa, have her massage, her manicure and pedicure, have her nice prepared lunch, and relax without a worry all day long. Then ready to go for a nice dinner out (without the children of course). That seemed to be the only time that she was happy, her time away from her husband and her children. Jon, you are a wonderful father, but that seems to be all that you do now that you are supposedly suppose to be working from home. The viewers have never seen you working at home. Are you still working, or have you resigned your job to take care of the children full time? Keep up the good fatherhood role.