FDA Has Found a Way to Solve the Energy Crisis

The FDA unleashed a Lucy Ricardo-esque plan to solve the energy crisis by irradiating fresh spinach and lettuce and not labeling it as having been irradiated.

This way, within a year or so the population of the United States will not need to worry about the energy crisis.  Why not?

We will all:

(a) Glow in the dark, therefore have no need of lights

(b) Be completely dead…with our glowing bodies providing light for any aliens that might be “out there” to land.

You can rest comfortably in your spinach and bacon salad though. The FDA has assured us that the radiation will only be enough to kill the e-coli and not nearly enough to make you glow.  Very much.

Seriously.  Would the FDA lie?

For those of you that aren’t up on your terminology, irradiated food is hit with a dose of radiation to kill bacteria, similar to radiation-therapy in cancer treatment.  However, like radiation treatment, there is no way to save the good stuff and kill the bad…so ….everything is killed off.

Like in pasteurization.

So, we will no longer have real food..we will only have food-like substances.  Take your vitamins, folks.

I guess I have watched too many B rated 1950 horror sci-fi flicks in my lifetime.  They always started out with scientists doing odd things to the food supply and ended with the scientists becoming the food supply.

So, if you were thinking about saving money by going back to buying non-organic foods?

You might want to rethink that plan.

Image:Marye Audet