ABC’s 20/20 Features “Extreme Breastfeeding: When to Stop?”
December 11, 2008 by Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
Filed under breastfeeding, breastfeeding videos, extended breastfeeding, toddler nursing
This Friday, December 12, 2008, ABC’s 20/20 will run a piece on “Extreme Breastfeeding: When to Stop?” You can see a preview video of the interview that features lactation consultant Robyn, who breastfeeds her 5-year-old kindergartner. Robyn is very well-spoken and I want to commend her for doing the interview and presenting a positive image of extended breastfeeding!
The segment also includes renowned anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler, Ph.D. Kathy has written several fascinating commentaries on extended breastfeeding, including “A Natural Age of Weaning.”
Watch the preview video, watch the full program tomorrow, and please come back and leave a comment to share your thoughts!
I’ll be interested to see what the story turns to. I admit, the title leaves me a little worried about the angle they will present, but that was counteracted by your description and watching the preview.
I agree with Maria, I hope it is done in a postive light. Robyn seems very well spoken and I hope this is a good story.
The preview video made me smile when the little boy described which side had more milk and that he was going to stop when he was 9 because that’s a good age to stop. So adorable!
Do you know if this will be available in its entirety online? I have to work tonight and won’t be able to watch! Thanks!
i’ll be honest, the preview has made me a bit nervous, i’m just hoping the rest of the piece doesn’t include reporters making ‘oh my god, gross’ faces.
i’m thrilled to hear that kathy dettwyler will be on, though!
I just DVR’d the whole show and fast forwarded through it — it wasn’t on. Anyone know anything?
i’m guessing it was bumped so they could run that casey anthony story.
I am so bummed. I can’t find anything on ABC’s website for it either — only the same webcast that Angela posted. It’s been a bummer week for TV for me — with Grey’s Anatomy being an unanticipated repeat and now this. Hopefully it will air again?
Sorry ladies! I’ll try to keep an eye on the schedule to see when the story might air. I know the scheduled date has changed at least twice already, but I thought the posting of the preview meant it was a go for sure this time….
I was very disappointed at the looks the interviewer kept giving the mother in the clip I watched. I mean, if you’re trying to be impartial…My daughter will be two the end of January and she is still nursing at night and many times during the day. If she still wants to nurse when she is six, I am 99% sure I would be just fine with that. I can’t imagine not having a nursing relationship with my toddler– it’s so important to me to have that way of connecting when life gets frustrating for her, or when she is more conscious with the struggle between being independent and dependant. I think it’s fantastic that a mother was willing to put herself out there for scrutiny when there are clearly so many people who think that breastfeeding a six-year-old or older child is wrong. I am proud of nursing my daughter, and often nurse her in public. For all the nasty looks we sometimes get, I hope that there will be at least one woman who is inspired or gets courage from seeing me.
Hi everyone! Last I heard the broadcast is now scheduled for Friday, January 2, 2009.
i just read something very interesting and i urge your readers to look it up …chimps and gorillas breastfeed til their babies are 2-4 years old…yep. so whyyy would it be any different for us? i dont understand what the big deal is? also not unitl recently in society women used to breast feed for more than 3 years…so why would it be a problem now?
all you moms out there trying to convince a new mom give them that fact. its in our nature.
You wouldn’t believe the negative attitudes on BabyCenter.com about nursing toddlers! I just don’t understand how ignorant people are…but this 20/20 segment only makes it worse! I mean, most people do not bf 8 year olds! That is extreme. Especially because toddlers wean themselves pretty easily, you would have to really encourage them to keep going to make it to 8! But showing those moms who are nursing 8 year olds next to moms who are nursing 2 year olds and somehow equating it is ABSURD. Toddlers need breastmilk. And the general view is that you’re “weird” if you nurse past one. I’m sick of it. With my next baby, I’m going to nurse it into toddlerhood and this time in PUBLIC. Shame on them for trying to make it weird or unacceptable. A woman in Chicago was asked to get off a plane that was stuck on a runway for hours because she was nursing her 3 year old. Can you imagine??? I hope she sued. It’s illegal in IL to stop a woman from nursing.
Am I the only mother out here that thinks breastfeeding past the age of 3 (and even that is pushing it) is disgusting? Toddlers, ok. Two, even three year-olds, fine. But kindergarteners?? 8 year-olds? C’mon, those people should be arrested as far as I am concerned. There is no nutritional value for an 8 year-old to nurse and if a child that old cannot be comforted at that age with a hug and words, there is a serious problem. It is just the mother purposefully slowing down natural child development and turning the poor kids into freaks for her own need to feel wanted or needed. That is just wrong on every level and it makes me really sick to hear the chick with the 6 year old say, “it’s a personal decision”. She is scarring that kid for life! Get a life beyond your kids and draw a NORMAL line for weaning. Also, someone above mentioned apes. Aren’t we just a tad more intelligent than animals??
here we go again…
eileen i don’t find child-led weaning disgusting in the least.
however, i do find it pretty disgusting when an individual makes a call on another’s actions and then tries to turn it around and make factual claims based on that feeling.
breastmilk does not have a shelf life. it’s not like it turns to kool-aid once a baby or child reaches a certain age so to say that there is no nutritional value is just crazy.
and yes, we are more intelligent than animals but we’re not speaking about logic here. this is a question of instinct. when given the opportunity(meaning, not weaned forcefully,) the average(and natural) weaning age of a child is between 3 and 4 years of age with a minimum of 2 years and a maximum of 7.
Heather,
The bottom line is that children go through developmental milestones. Breastfeeding is one part of infancy/toddlerhood and is meant to nourish the child as food as well as providing awesome antibodies. Bonding is the secondary part of that, not the main purpose. I am all for breastfeeding and you would be hard pressed to find anyone who would say that formula is anywhere close to being as good for a baby. However, to keep on after the child can talk, walk, use the potty alone, eat solid food and chew it with their teeth, and ask for your breast is just plain wrong. All the healthy nourishment needed comes in the form of a healthy diet of food. I understand that all children develop at different rates. I have 2 sons, one of whom was a preemie and he did not walk until he was 18 months old, so I definitely understand that not all babies do everything at the same time. But here are my reasons for saying what I said:
Children need to move forward. Prolonging breastfeeding past the time it is really necessary keeps the child in an infantile state. They need to bond with all family members, not just mother. Fathers can provide comfort and bonding with hugs and words, they do not have breasts! Even my four year old can comfort his younger brother. If you had a child that became potty trained, yet he still wanted to use diapers, would you allow that? Or would you encourage him to move forward? What if you had a child that never wanted to wean? I mean, where do you draw the line? What will happen to the 6 year old who is still breastfeeding and goes to school? What if he hurts himself or needs comfort and can’t breastfeed? What if, God forbid, the mother dies? The child should already have self-soothing mechanisms in place. Also, the child is being comforted by what? Food. That is also unhealthy. That child on 20/20 will go to school and probably be teased all the way through high school graduation. I fully believe these mothers have ulterior motives. To make themselves feel needed, to make them the center of their kids lives…whatever it is, the fact that so many people are grossed out should tell you something. Look at the feedback on the show on abc.com and see how many people agree. Lastly, the mother on the show said that she would rather have her son use her breast than a pacifier. The point is that a child that old should NOT HAVE TO USE A PACIFIER. HE SHOULD NOT BE SEEKING COMFORT IN THAT MANNER AT THE AGE OF SIX. Ask any pediatrician if they would promote any kid past the age of 2 using a pacifier. My older son is 4 and no one in his preschool class sucks on a paci! I don’t think the teachers would have it!Keeping children at a lower emotional age does nothing for anyone. If it makes you feel better to think that I am just misinformed, then fine. But I am very well informed so you can save the “here we go again” line. And one more note. If you really feel that a child of 7 or 8 needs breastmilk, fine..pump it and pour it into a glass, because kids that old should not be using a bottle or even a sippycup, now should they??
eileen, i don’t fee the need to address everything you’ve posted in response because the vast majority of it is just plain ridiculous.
you say you are very well informed.. where are your sources? what studies are you drawing your information from?
i don’t know about you but i don’t base my parenting practices on what other’s think of me(or my children for that matter.) i do what i feel is right for me and for my family, period.
i will add one more thing…
comparing extended breastfeeding to something like using diapers past the point of potty training is uncalled for, there is no comparison.
I am in agreement with Heather and I hav to say, using milestones like walking talking or chewing food as indicators of when to quit nursing is absurd (and ignorant). My child walked and talked at 9 months. Was it “time”? No it wasn’t. And who are any of you to judge me and my parenting? Do I judge you and your parenting? I don’t even know you, why would I do that? And a 4 year old is still a toddler, btw. I have actual studies I could post regarding the benefits of extended nursing (just google it for God’s sake). Where is your proof that it’s harmful or wrong? I did the best thing for my child by allowing her to wean herself when she was ready. I tried to wean her before that and it made her miserable, clingy and heartbroken. When I let nature do it’s thing, it was much easier and natural of a process. I never intended to nurse for 28 months, but that’s what my child needed and I am a sensitive enough mother to respect my child’s needs above my own. If you’re so against nursing toddlers, simply don’t nurse yours but leave the rest of us alone. Or should I start to berate you for formula feeding your kids? (something I would never do because I don’t judge other mothers.)
Of course everyone is entitled their own opinion, but let’s at least acknowledge what that is… an OPINION does not necessarily reflect what is known to be true. You think I’m igorant and ridiculous, I think nursing a NINE YEAR OLD is borderline deviant and none of us will change the others’ minds. It is a FACT that there is a HUGE developmental difference in a 28 month-old and a nine year-old. And I have asked no less than 50 people their opinion on this topic since 20/20 aired, old people, young people, men, women, all of them parents and many of them have infants now and not a single one agreed with your (very odd) stance. Again, you keep acting as if I am bashing breastfeeding. I am only bashing it for kids that are past the toddler phase. All I keep hearing is “don’t be judgmental”. Not one valid reason for nursing a school age (non-toddler) child past the age of 4. Peace out, I’m done with this blog…
Eileen, I never disagreed with you that nursing a 9 year old is odd. I agree with you that if you must give your 9 year old breastmilk, put it in a cup. But your comments about when to stop breastfeeding were just not based on facts and I pointed that out. You seem to think it’s odd to nurse 3 to 4 year olds and I’m defending it. It’s attitudes like yours that cause so much public disaproval for those of us who have nursing toddlers and it is an “opinion” that is misinformed and wrong and it needs to be changed. My point is that these shows highlighting a very small number of women who nurse way too long only serves to paint those of us who nurse properly in a bad light. There is no comparison between nursing a 3 year old and nursing a 9 year old!
since when does polling your friends and/or family pass for actual research?
yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion and you are entitled to yours and that’s exactly what this is–your opinion. it’s not based on fact or any sort of real research it’s merely a gut reaction to something you don’t know anything about.
do i plan on nursing that far into childhood? no. but i also didn’t plan on nursing to the point where we are now, which is almost 3 years.
furthermore, i don’t think my mom planned on nursing me for 5 1/2 years, either, it just happened that way.
I would also like to add that I do think nursing older children 6+ is odd, but I am not going to pronounce it devient without some kind of further knowledge. Studies should be done to see if the children do suffer harm from this “extreme” nursing…and if they do, then something should be done. But from what I heard on the show and what I’ve read online, there is no evidence that older children suffer harm from it. So I think it would benefit everyone to know more about it before pronouncing harsh judgements on anyone.
this is not alright. This is like sexual child abuse. having a 6yr old suck on his mothers nipple, is just not right, and i can bet kids like that are gonna have tons of issues when it comes to women later in his life. this is disgusting and the lady and ladies that nurse old enough kids, that can ACTUALLY SIT DOWN AND BE INTERVIEWED, should be locked up.
‘i can bet kids like that…’
do some research and bring me the evidence you dig up but good luck finding any that can actually support your opinion.
Wow, this is quite a topic.
One thing no one mentioned is that frequently parents wean their children from human milk and then give them cow milk because it’s high in protein, calcium and other vitamins. No one is saying how odd and bizarre that is–as if human milk is devoid of protein, vitamins and calcium after x number of years. While it’s still tough for me to wrap my brain around it (my daughter is only 15-months-old), it seems that milk from our own species might be better for us in the long run (from the cup or a breast) than drinking milk intended for calves. Breastfeeding has certainly made me more empathic to female cows. I am definitely not giving my daughter cow milk ever. It’s a fine drink designed for growing cows.
I think that whenever one weans from human milk, the need for milk is probably passed. You don’t see humans naturally out in the pasture sucking on cows because they need the nutrition. People just drink it from a cup. Why would a woman pumping her own milk and serving it to her own child be weird? Now if a calf were sucking her breast, I think I’d find that weird. Or if she was giving her pet rabbit human milk, perhaps I’d raise an eyebrow, but species-specific milk is pretty species specific.
Another perk of breast milk is that it doesn’t need to be pasteurized, homogenized or shipped all around the country. You don’t need to run to the store to get it.
Why isn’t it kind of perverted and weird to drink milk from a cow–even if the cow is in another state? I mean, it’s something that came from a female part of a cow. I think it’s indecent that cows walk around letting it all hang out. Bras for cows. No milk drinking in public. I don’t want to see it. It’s offensive and weird.
I’ve had my fair share of cow milk; it’s just that after breast-feeding I am not so into the idea. Breast-feeding should be promoted for as long as mutually desired without women having to worry about negativity. What’s it to all of you who disagree how long a mom breastfeeds? It really does no harm, and might even do some good in the long run. As if there aren’t already formula fed adult perverts out there in the world. You can’t blame the warts of the world on kids who were breast fed too long.
>Heather says:However, to keep on after the child >can talk, walk, use the potty alone, eat solid food >and chew it with their teeth, and ask for your >breast is just plain wrong.
Who is this woman t say that? Why doesn’t she say it’s also wrong to have a pacifier or a blanket at that point? What about being rode around in a stroller past two? How stupidly judgemental can you be? I happily nurse my 3 year old at night before she sleeps (we co-sleep, is that “wrong” too?) when she wakes up and any time during the day she asks, which is becoming less and less. SHe is the cutest, most well adjusted smartest and healthiest girl one could ask for. And she’s my last of three so YES of course I as the mother have “ulterior motives,” continuing the beautiful bond of mother and child. Of course I can say no and give her something else like apple juice, but why? … I’m glad I know what’s best for my kids and hope you can figure out what’s best for yours.
So long as the mother is not trying to force continued bfeeding I see no problem with extended nursing. Most kids will wean by 4-5 at the latest. A few may continue after this point. Unfortunately there have been cases where mothers fostered dependency from their children by forcing a continued bfed relationship, twisting it into something it shouldn’t be. But in the few cases where this happens, the mothers are quite obviously suffering some form of extreme depression and attachment to their children. This is not a very common happening though, so unfortunately those of us who choose to allow our children to self wean are viewed through lenses colored by these few unfortunate happenings. So I agree wholeheatedly with extended bfeeding, so long as mother is not stopping the child from self weaning, a child will wean when ready. Mothers let your babies wean when ready, I know sometimes it’s hard, but mothers don’t need to start the weaning process, but neither should they prevent it from happening when their child deems it to be time.