Baby Dolls with Baby Bottles
January 29, 2007 by Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
Filed under activism, mothering
When my preschooler was three, all she wanted for Christmas was a Baby Born doll (pictured at left). Her friend had a similar Zapf Creation doll, Baby Annabell, and of course my daughter wanted one too. Baby Born comes with a potty and a plastic plate and spoon and even some pretend “food” (don’t get me started about that gooey mess!) It never occurred to me to question the fact that the doll also comes with a pacifier and a baby bottle until other nursing mothers mentioned to me (nicely) that they don’t buy their little girls dolls with bottles. They don’t want to teach their girls that you feed babies with bottles as opposed to breasts or that it’s alright to use pacifiers for newborns or even at all.
If it had occurred to me I suppose I could have tried to throw away the pacifier and the bottle before giving the doll to my daughter but believe me, my daughter knew everything that was supposed to come with that doll. She would have noticed the loss! I could have guided her to another doll but it’s only natural for her to want the same type of doll her friend has.
My daughter will “nurse” her doll–and her little sister for that matter–and if she does bottle-feed the doll she gives her a bottle of expressed breast milk. She doesn’t know that anything else could even go into a baby bottle. (Alright, I confess it’s water in the bottle because that’s how you make Baby Born use the potty, but my daughter does actually pretend that it’s “mum-mum milk”).
So, what about you? Do you let your little girls or boys play with baby dolls that come with baby bottles? If so, do you talk about breastfeeding and pumping and bottles of expressed breast milk?
We were at a friend’s house the other day, and my 14-month old daughter found a baby doll among the toys. She carried it around for a while, then I that she had found an appropriately sized baby bottle and was feeding the baby doll!
I thought that was particularly shocking simply because she’s only been given a bottle a few times in her life. I didn’t have a pump after the first month or two, and I wasn’t working so I just didn’t need to be away from her.
So where did she learn that babies drink out of bottles? Very odd!
Not a story about my kids, but I was at our local hamds-on children’s museum recently. A woman was there with two older toddler girls, probably 3 and 5, and a baby in a sling.
One of the older girls had a baby doll with her, and when she sat down at the play table to have play dinner, she matter-of-factly lifted her shirt and put the doll’s face to her nipple and held her there while they pretended to eat. I guess we see how mealtimes work at her house!
Her mother blushed and apologized to me, which was ridiculous, I thought! I told her that I thought it was great, and that I had nursed my son for 20 months and was nursing still my daughter (only a year at the time).
Other than the shame the mother seemed to feel over her daughter emulating breastfeeding, she’s probably a great role model!
I don’t have a problem letting my kids play with a baby and a baby bottle or a pacifier, though I don’t happen to own either of those things for the one baby doll that we have, which neither child touches anyway. That seems a bit silly to me, honestly. And my friends call ME a “nipple Nazi” because I wouldn’t even consider using a pacifier or supplementing with formula, so at least around here I’m considered to be a hard core breastfeeder.
They are all just props. Your kids are going to see other people giving their babies bottles and pacifiers. It happens. When they are adults, I would hope that they would put their own thought and research into whether they want to bottle feed or breastfeed their children, not just blindly follow how they played with baby dolls.
Most of the time, I let her keep the bottles with the babies. She never uses them anyway. The only time I got upset was when she recieved a doll from a relative. This doll would cry, and the only way to make is stop crying was to put a pacifier in it’s mouth. That upset me, because I didn’t want my daughter to think that the only way to soothe a baby was through the use of a pacifier.
I have an issue with my daughter playing with baby dolls. Is it psychologically correct that she does? I dont think that little girls should be worried about how to nurse or feed a baby at such an early age. I dont see the growth development in letting her play with them. I dont know if I ever had them so I am not sure how that worked. I am okay with her having the fashion dolls, Barbie. She doesnt need to learn how a baby is fed. She should be learning her ABC’s and numbers and how to socialize with others. Will someone please help me…
Baby Dollless,
Holly
I guess I understand not wanting your kids to have to grow up too fast but then I read that you’re OK with them having the “fashion dolls”. Both are completely grown up… The barbies have developed breasts even. I just find it odd that the “grown up” doll you allow your daughter to play with is an unrealistically proportioned doll with developed breasts and a boyfriend with a six pack but not a baby doll that she can learn to love and nurture. I think I learned more about parenting and being a good mother as a young girl than I have as an adult reading books and doing research because I got to see what my mom did with me and my sisters and repeat that with my dolls.
Nicole