Establishing the Breastfeeding Relationship

I look back at the moments when each of my newborn babies were laid on my chest as some of the most powerful and satisfying moments in my life. My first baby knew instinctively where “the good stuff” was and she wiggled and rooted around until she settled contentedly on the breast (with a little help latching on!) I could hardly wait to experience the same moments of bonding with my second child.

During that short window after the birth where the baby is alert and awake, it is so wonderful for mother and baby to have the time together to get to know each other and to start the breastfeeding relationship in a positive manner. The colostrum boosts the baby’s immunity, and the mother receives the satisfaction of knowing that she is helping her tiny baby in that way. The baby gets the ultimate form of comfort after the naturally stressful experience of being born.

Soon the wheels of supply and demand begin turning, and the more time the baby spends at the breast, the better and more satisfying the relationship. Those first nursing sessions not only help the mother’s milk come in, but they also act as practice sessions for when that milk finally does start flowing. It’s a lot of work for both mother and baby to learn how to position themselves and how to latch on properly.

The mother is so vulnerable during the first days to pressures to formula-feed and to use artificial pacifiers. When faced with a crying baby, a mother may worry and wonder whether she has enough milk to meet her baby’s needs. If the mother is able to soothe the baby’s crying at the breast, and to have positive nursing sessions before and just after the milk comes in, then she is well on her way to having a satisfying relationship. On the other hand, if she is told to leave her baby in the nursery, to let the nurses bottle-feed her baby so that she can rest, to supplement when the baby seems fussy even after a nursing session, to pacify with an artificial nipple–that can start a dangerous downward spiral that undermines the mother’s confidence in her ability to breastfeed.

It takes a surprising number of people to get the breastfeeding relationship off to a good start – the mother, the baby, the birth attendants (doula, midwives, nurses, doctors), partner or spouse and other family members, lactation consultants and La Leche League leaders. All of those people have the power influence whether the mother and baby get the proper time together to establish a good relationship and an adequate milk supply.