Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Is it Worth it to Nurse for a Short Time?

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:23:33 +0000

If you knew you might only be able to nurse for a few months before you might have to be separated from your baby for an extended period of time, would it be worth it to breastfeed for those few months or should you formula-feed in an attempt to spare your baby from an additional pain of separation? That’s the issue raised by a military mother on the article U.S. Military Rules for Breastfeeding Mothers. Jami wrote:

Why is it that everyone but the Air Force is at LEAST 6 months deferment - The above article and all the profiles I have seen state that the deferment for deployment is 4 months - but we aren’t even eligible to PT for 6 months… umm… am I missing something? I have one daughter and am pregnant with my second…I did not breast feed with my daughter because of the simple fact of deployments… My now ARMY doctor is pressuring me to breast feed with my second one… but I argue the fact WHY? So I can up and deploy in 4 months and leave my baby stranded and alone wondering where his/her real food is? It would be heartbreaking to watch my baby be torn from my breast a short 4 months later… The Military is NOT family oriented… if they wont allow us women to adequately take care of our children, then I do not believe they should have allowed us to sign the contract in the first place. Not to mention a large percentage of the Miltary are Men - who like you other bloggers have stated… do not understand OR want to comprehend the aspects of breastfeeding. I would love to raise awarness on this issue - but where would you even start? The policy needs to be changed… period. Thanks for listening.

Hi Jami,

Here are a few thoughts for you and hopefully others will chime in as well. I can hear your frustration and I totally agree that the policy needs to be changed.

I do want to commend that army doctor for encouraging you to breastfeed. Every little bit of breast milk — a day, a month, or four months — is good for your baby and supplies lasting health benefits. It would be awful to have to leave a breastfed baby (any baby!) at four months, no doubt about it. There are ways it can be done to minimize the impact on your baby. Let’s think through some of the options.

- You might not be deployed.
- You will already be bottle-feeding for work, and you could build up a freezer stash that could last a considerable amount of time should you be deployed. Any necessary transition to formula could be done little by little.
- Bonding at the breast is wonderful. You could nurse for a couple of months and then switch to exclusive pumping if you are worried about making a sudden transition should you be deployed. It’s not ideal (as in, not easy to pump exclusively, or to switch to bottle-feeding alone) but it gives you that time and that option to continue.
- Your doctor sounds quite favorable to breastfeeding. Perhaps when the time comes she or he would be willing to write a note that says you need additional deferment.

I encourage you to talk to a local La Leche League leader for free to think through your feelings and your options. It’s not a good position to be put in, and the decisions are difficult ones. Congratulations on expecting your second baby!

Do any other readers have thoughts for what to do when faced with a potential separation?

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Night Terrors

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 04:23:43 +0000

Your child has been sound asleep for an hour or so but suddenly starts screaming and crying. You try everything you can think of to soothe him, going down your list: needs to nurse, hot, cold, feverish, wet, in pain. Nothing you do seems to help, and what’s worse, your child does not even seem to know you are there, trying to help.

Photo by Dez Pain

That’s what happened to me last night when my 11-month-old had her first ever night terror. Night terrors are episodes of intense crying and fear in children who are sleeping and are difficult to arouse. I will leave it to the experts to explain more about night terrors:

Ask Dr. Sears: Night Terrors
WebMD: Night Terrors

Thank goodness I had heard about night terrors from friends who had experienced them with their children. Otherwise I would have taken the half an hour of inconsolable crying as a sign that I needed to take my daughter to the emergency room! Fortunately, my daughter eventually allowed me to nurse her back to sleep. She slept well after that and appeared perfectly fine in the morning. I, however, was a wreck! One of the things I love most about breastfeeding is that it “fixes” almost anything — hungry, thirsty, over-tired, cranky, lonely, ill. When my daughter was crying inconsolably and she arched her back away from me when I attempted to nurse her, I felt a helplessness I have never felt before as a parent.

Has a child of yours ever experienced night terrors? How often did they happen? Were you eventually able to prevent them? Did your child outgrow them? How did you handle them when they were occurring?

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

I Want to Remember Today

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 06:13:04 +0000

Today my husband took my older girls to a major league baseball game while I stayed home with my 11-month-old. The minute her sisters (i.e., the entertainment) left she started fussing! Who wants to stay home with boring old mom anyway?! Now I say this in the most loving way possible: this child is like a dog, if only in the sense that she goes to the door, bangs on it with her hands and yells until I say we’re going out! She wants to be where the action is, there’s no mistaking that.

My baby in the Baby Jogger stroller

So we headed out the door for a nice long walk. I put her in the Baby Jogger, and of course then she was all smiles! Part way through the walk she fell asleep and I stopped to read a book on a park bench underneath a pepper tree. When my daughter woke up flushed from sleep and the heat, I pulled her into my lap and she nursed contentedly until she popped off and beamed another big smile at me! We set out again, and she stayed happily in the stroller for another fifteen minutes or so. Then it was back to my arms for the rest of the way home. We must have looked quite the sight — me holding the baby in one arm and pulling the Jogger with the other (it was too hot for the sling I’d brought) because a kind woman pulled her car over to ask if I wanted a ride. I was quite happy and near home anyway, so I politely declined. The baby and I continued, with one more pit stop to play on the grass in the shade of the trees. All in all we were out for over an hour and a half. I had brought water for me, my cell phone and keys, a book, and some diapers, but that was enough to see us through for a grand adventure!

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

11 Month Old Baby Update

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 14:42:19 +0000

May I take a moment to ask the universe to slow my life down from “Warp Speed” to just “Really Really Fast”? My 11-month-old daughter is keeping me very busy these days. I still maintain that having a baby who can walk is easier than having a baby who cannot. For me, it’s not quite as hands-on and is less physically intense. I do need to protect her from eating things she shouldn’t, and from climbing up or down the stairs, but in general she entertains herself quite well now that she can walk (and go wherever her sisters go)! I do recognize that this experience is quite different than the one I had with my first daughter, who was glued to my side until she was about 3.5 years of age (there are advantages to that by the way, and I found that by recognizing and accepting her need to be near me until that time, she gained the confidence to become quite independent later. She’s seven now!)

One down side of my 11-month-old’s independence? The ability to cause trouble. Can you believe that this little cherub:

My 11-month-old playing with a doll stroller

is the one who did this:

Blue crayon scribbled on the wall and door

Yes, that’s blue crayon scribbled on two places on my white bedroom wall and door (that happens when you have two older children who like to color and a mobile 11-month-old who is confined in your bedroom but manages to find the only crayon while you put away clothes in your closet). Thank goodness for the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. I don’t recommend the product for older paint because it does take some paint off or dull the sheen, but for newer paint or for the situation where it’s better to clean off the crayon or pen or permanent marker than to leave it there, the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser works wonders! Just make sure to test it in a remote corner if you are concerned about wearing away the paint. And then enjoy your creative toddler!

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Breastfeeding Advocacy around the World

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 06:37:20 +0000

The vast majority of Breastfeeding 1-2-3 readers are from the United States, with nearly 10 times as many visitors from the U.S. than from the second country on the list. Can you guess what the next four countries are? I will give you a little hint:

Google Analytics map for Blisstree's Breastfeeding 1-2-3 blog

The next four countries are:

2. Canada
3. United Kingdom
4. India
5. Australia

I have been talking a lot about breastfeeding advocacy opportunities in the United States, so tonight I would like to share a breastfeeding advocacy opportunity for each of the other four countries listed. Please feel free to leave a comment if you are from any of those four countries and you have resources you would like to share!

Canada

“Join INFACT Canada and INFACT Quebec and sign on to the ‘Protect Breastfeeding Petition’ at http://protectbreastfeedingpetition.ca/. You can make a difference for mothers and children, sign the petition, share the petition and join us for a better world for all of us.”

United Kingdom

In the United Kingdom you can read and sign the Breastfeeding Manifesto, an eight-page document that outlines seven objectives that support breastfeeding. The Manifesto notes:

The UK Governments and the World Health Organization (WHO) recommend that babies be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life, yet fewer than 2% of babies in the UK are exclusively breastfed at six months.

India

The Breastfeeding Promotion Network of India works to protect, promote and support breastfeeding in that country. You can endorse your views on an infant’s right to food by entering your name and email address.

Australia

The Australian Breastfeeding Association has a page dedicated to breastfeeding advocacy which includes a link to the incident report form for the marketing of infant formulas in Australia.

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Your Protection against Trouble

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 09:13:30 +0000

Love, love, love this WPA Federal Art Project poster by artist Erik Hans Krause, circa 1936-1938. It’s all still true: “Nurse the Baby: Your Protection against Trouble.”

Photo of poster by Bobster855

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Nursing around Disapproving Family Members

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 18:30:04 +0000

Generally we think of “nursing in public” as nursing anywhere besides the privacy of our own homes. However, the laws that protect nursing in public do not apply in the privacy of someone else’s home. Sometimes, the people who should support a nursing mother the most — her extended family and friends — are the ones who are uncomfortable seeing her nursing. In the comments for the last Carnival of Breastfeeding on Nursing in Public, Jenny raised this very issue:

Unfortunately, I have been faced with the choice of covering up/leaving the room to nurse or starting a big fight–especially when visiting my husband’s family. I wonder what other breastfeeding advocates do in situations such as this. Do they stand their ground and nurse uncovered? Leave family functions early to make a point?

Good question, and I do not think there is one right answer. Let’s think through the options:

1. Nurse uncovered.
2. Nurse covered.
3. Retreat to a different room.
4. Leave the family function early.

Photo family on the couch by Peterme

For me, the decision would depend on exactly who is uncomfortable with my nursing (the host or another guest?), what my relationship is with him/her (close family, distant relative, good friend, an acquaintance), whether that person is otherwise supportive of me and my parenting, and what I hope my future relationship with that person to be.

Frankly there have been occasions where I have been glad for the excuse to slip away to another room to nurse! I do want it to be my choice however, and in certain situations I would be willing to take a stand, nurse uncovered, and be prepared with some sort of speech should I be questioned about it. “I’m sorry the baby’s nursing makes you uncomfortable. I was having such a nice time talking with everyone and it makes me feel excluded to have to leave when Suzy needs to eat.” Having made my point, I would then wait to see what the objector says and take it from there. If it were the host, and I were again asked to move, I would do so, perhaps with one final expression of, “I respect your wishes. I hope you’ll catch me up on what happens when I’m gone!” Then I would make a decision about whether it is important for me to continue to make an appearance at future family events.

Leaving the function early only hurts the nursing mother and immediate family. It’s unlikely to change anyone else’s mind about whether the mother is welcome to nurse (they’re not going to say, “Gee, I didn’t realize Nursing Mother would leave!”), and it might just make people more questioning of the mother’s “stubborn insistence” on nursing at all costs. That does not educate anyone on why it’s not acceptable to ask someone to cover up or move, and why the baby can’t just take a bottle while in others’ company.

Nursing covered is a non-confrontational compromise, and is certainly a valid option if it is a compromise the mother is willing to make. Retreating to another room also avoids confrontation if the mother is willing to make that sacrifice to keep the peace.

There’s one final option that I didn’t mention above. When it is the husband’s family that objects, it is the husband who should be the one who talks to the family about why it is important for the nursing mother and baby to be welcomed at family events. The nursing mother should not be put in the awkward position of having to defend herself or compromise her beliefs. The husband should show his support by politely speaking to the family members, preferably in advance of the event.

Your Thoughts

What have you done when a family member or friend has objected to your nursing? What affected your decision to take a stand or keep the peace at all costs?

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Nursing in Public: To Cover or Not to Cover

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 05:00:09 +0000

Welcome to the discussion of Nursing in Public for the June Carnival of Breastfeeding! If you are new here and/or have not yet joined the Facebook group I created in support of the Breastfeeding Promotion Act of 2009, please consider doing so!

Lots of carnival participants have shared their own stories and advice about nursing in public (see links at the end of this post), but first I would like to discuss the issue of whether women should or should not cover themselves with a nursing cover while breastfeeding in public. At first it might seem like a non-issue. I think most breastfeeding advocates would agree that women should not be told that they must cover themselves while nursing, but if a mother feels more comfortable using a cover, then she should use one — whatever it takes to allow her to feed her baby. To each her own, right? Well, maybe not.

Bebe Au Lait Nursing Cover

I have posted instructions for sewing your own Hooter Hider-style nursing cover and have had several women say how much they appreciate it. However, I once had a breastfeeding advocate tell me that she was not inclined to post a pattern for a nursing cover because she believed it sent the wrong message to new mothers; that they might feel they had to cover up and had to breastfeed in as discreet a manner as possible.

So in the corner of Reasons to Cover:

~ It can make a woman comfortable nursing in public when she might not otherwise.
~ A cover can help an easily distracted baby settle to the task at hand (er, at breast).
~ The cover actually draws attention to the act of breastfeeding and might encourage other women to nurse in public if they see a way that they too would be comfortable nursing in public.

In the corner of Reasons Not to Cover:

~ Some babies refuse to be covered.
~ Without the “right” type of cover, some women have a difficult time seeing the baby and getting a proper latch.
~ A cover potentially can be hot and uncomfortable for mother and baby.
~ As I said, a nursing cover often draws attention to the act of breastfeeding — something a woman using a cover might actually have been trying to avoid!
~ Feeding without a nursing cover helps normalize breastfeeding.
~ Showing women that breastfeeding in public can be done without a cover might empower other women to do the same.
~ A cover might diminish a baby’s communication with the mother and his or her experience with the world, if only for those feedings in public.

In the end I do not think a breastfeeding mother is under any obligation to refrain from using a cover because it might send the wrong message. Just as the woman who does not use a cover is not “whipping out” her breast to make a point, the woman who does use a cover is not doing so to send a message that all breastfeeding women should cover themselves. A nursing mother’s only obligation is to her baby. Period.

What do you think? Do you use a cover and if so, why? Did you make a choice not to use a cover, and if so, why? Have your feelings changed as you have become more comfortable nursing in public? Leave a comment!

Other Carnival Participants (stay tuned for more links being added below through Monday, June 22 — this is a huge carnival!)

Lucy & Ethel Have a Baby: Nursing In Public (Boobs) Out and Proud
PhD in Parenting: Would You, Could You Nurse in Public?
Dirty Diaper Laundry: Breastfeeding in Public Talent - I Haz It
Kim through the Looking Glass: Here? At the Restaurant?
GrudgeMom: Nursing in a Room Full of People You Know
MumUnplugged: Aww, Is He Sleeping?
Massachusetts Friends of Midwives: Nursing in Public: Chinatown, the Subway, the Vatican, and More
Mother Mary’s Soapbox: Breastfeeding My Newborn in Public
Tiny Grass: Nursing in Public as an Immigrant
Mommy News and Views: Tips for Nursing in Public
Blacktating: Thank You for Nursing in Public
Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog: Get Kicked off a Bus for Nursing in Public? Here’s How to Respond
Mama Knows Breast: Products That Can Help You Breastfeed in Public
BreastfeedingMums: Nursing in Public: What’s a Breastfeeding Mother to Do
Stork Stories: Little Old Men & Nursing in Public
Chronicles of a Nursing Mom: Why Worry about NIP?
Warm Hearts Happy Family: Breastfeeding and the Summertime
Musings on Mamahood: NIP, no tuck
babyREADY: A Wee NIP in the Park
Tales of Life with a Girl on the Go: Plains, Trains and Automobiles, We’ve Breastfed in Them All
Breastfeeding Moms Unite: Nursing in Public, A Fresh Perspective on Nurse-ins
Never a Dull Moment: A NIP Product Alternative: Breastfeeding Hats versus Traditional Nursing Covers
Hobo Mama: Easy, Discreet Way to Nurse a Toddler in Public

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Baby Registry Items (Mom-to-Mom #20)

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 21:21:43 +0000

My sister is having her first baby this fall and she seeks help about what to put on her baby registry. Please chime in with what worked for you and what was a waste of money!

Photo by M. Nota

I need your advice! We’re getting ready to register for baby stuff and I’m overwhelmed with all the choices. Can you please answer the following or give me any advice you think will be helpful?

1) What tools/items/stuff did you get for your baby either early or later on that you are so glad you got?

2) What did you think you needed that you never used and wasn’t worth getting?

3) Recommendations for breast pumps? Bottles? Strollers? Car seats? Baby carriers (slings vs. bjorns vs. whatever else)?

4) Any opinions on cloth vs. disposable diapers? I was surprised to read on several web sites that cloth ones don’t turn out to be very much cheaper once you factor in supplies and laundry, so I guess it is more an environmental choice?

5) What else???

My answers:

1. Glad I had: Ring sling. Rocker/glider with foot rest. Good birth, breastfeeding, and parenting books.

2. Didn’t need: never had a crib and never missed it.

3. Breast pump: Medela Pump in Style

Bottles: Not that I could ever get my babies to take a bottle, but I would look for glass bottles like Dr. Brown’s Natural Flow Glass Bottle 2-Pack, 3.5 oz or at least BPA-free bottles like BornFree Plastic Bottles Triple-Pack 5oz 3 Pair

Baby carrier: Maya Wrap Organic Baby Sling. I wish I had learned how to use a wrap in addition to the ring sling.

Car seat: Britax Marathon Convertible Car Seat

4. Cloth diapers are way cheaper than disposables especially if your sister hooks you up with her stash. You can also buy used, plan to use them for more than one baby, and sell them when you are done. You can save money on laundry by washing every other day and line drying the diapers as is best for them anyway. In the end it didn’t come down to cost vs. environment as much as I was more comfortable putting cloth against my baby’s skin than paper diapers and their chemicals (not that I don’t use disposables occasionally).

5. What else? I wish I had prepared more for the birth than for the baby. You already know my opinions on my home versus hospital births:

Labor Day Meme
A Safe and Satisfying Home Birth and Water Birth: My Story
Cost of Giving Birth at the Hospital or at Home
Ten Advantages of a Home Birth

Your Thoughts

Please leave a comment for others to benefit from the communal wisdom!

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Dear Abby Prints Pumping Room Letters

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 16:41:24 +0000

Remember back in March when I wrote to Dear Abby about the fact that A Bathroom is Not a Pumping Room? My response was not selected for printing but today’s Dear Abby column is entirely dedicated to other helpful replies: Employer Obliged to Give New Mom a Private Space.

Photo by Sanja Gjenero

I especially liked that the responses included a reference to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services information booklet: “A Business Case for Breastfeeding: Steps for Creating a Breastfeeding Friendly Worksite: Easy Steps to Supporting Breastfeeding Employees.” (PDF Download).

I must be on a breastfeeding letter-writing kick because last night I spent three hours writing emails to every state breastfeeding coalition and 45 breastfeeding bloggers to make sure they’re aware of some of the available tools to support the Breastfeeding Promotion Act of 2009, such as the super easy fill-in form online to ask state representatives and senators to co-sponsor the bill, and the Facebook group to spread the word about the bill. Back to my regular programming tomorrow, I promise, because I’m due to update about how breastfeeding is going with my baby who just turned 11 months old!

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3