Fun with Google Search Terms

It’s the end of a long week of dealing with three children with swine flu a coughing virus some unidentified illness and I need a good diversion. Time to dig through the Google search terms that brought people to Breastfeeding 1-2-3.

1. To the 9 people searching for “Halloween snacks”: My little 15-month-old loved her Halloween snack of breastmilk, thank you for asking. Chocolate is not for my toddler, but it’s okay for nursing moms in moderation. (By the way, I’m not sure about the irony here, but when I gave my toddler her choice of Halloween hand-me-down costumes — a fairy princess, a cow, or a tiger — she chose a cow. ‘Nuff said.)

The Google Chrome logo looks suspiciously like a nipple and areola.... Image by Randy Zhang

2. To the 9 people searching for “leukemia in toddlers“, I’m sorry. You put my week in perspective.

3. To the 8 searchers for “breastfeeding123 blog angela”: thank you.

4. To the people looking for “woman 3 breasts video”: Extra nipples are not all that uncommon. I’ve read that up to three percent of the population will have a third nipple away from the normal location on the chest.

5. To the person who asked “what should I name my baby girl”: I think Angela is a lovely name.

6. To the person searching for “newscaster nipples”: now that’s a really specific fetish. Sorry you didn’t find what you were looking for.

7. To the 5 people looking for “123″: I say “456.” Let’s see how popular that sequence is!

8. To the people looking for “freezer paper”: I’m in favor of it.

9. For those looking for a “minimalist baby registry“: I applaud you. All you really need are you, your breasts, and your baby!

10. To the righteous looking for “nestle unethical action“: I think you just gave me an idea for a new post tag.

11. To those looking for a “breastfeeding contest”: it’s totally not a contest. But I win.

12. Regarding “Stanford hand expression”: I’ve never found them to be an overly demonstrative people. Oh wait, you mean this.

Thanks for playing and have a good weekend!