Nursing Mother “Bullied” for Breastfeeding in South Carolina Wal-Mart
November 12, 2008 by Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
Filed under activism, breastfeeding, law, nursing in public
First a swimming pool change room in Ontario, now a Wal-Mart dressing room in South Carolina…. Business owners need to recognize that there are laws that prevent them from asking nursing mothers to move to a changing room to breastfeed! In this latest incident, nursing mother Heather Silvis said she had just sat down on a bench in the store and had not even begun to nurse her daughter when a supervisor and four Wal-Mart employees began yelling at her that she couldn’t breastfeed there. Local news WISTV quotes Ms. Silvis:
Then one of them stood up and pushed my shopping cart with my 21-month-old baby in it and my purse around the corner and I was told, ‘If you want to breast feed, you’re going to have to go in there.’ So I followed my child who was in my shopping cart went into the dressing room and nursed my baby.
Oh my goodness, I think Ms. Silvis showed a great deal of restraint. If someone moved a shopping cart with one of my children in it, I would have been stunned, then outraged!
South Carolina law protects breastfeeding:
SECTION 20-7-97. Breastfeeding.
(A) A woman may breastfeed her child in any location where the mother and her child are authorized to be.
(B) Breastfeeding a child in a location where the mother is authorized to be is not considered indecent exposure.
The Wal-Mart did not apologize, explaining only that the dressing room was offered to Silvis as a courtesy.
Photo of a Wal-Mart sign by Brave New Films
I think it is the ignorance of the people in this Walmart location. Lack of education and learning makes ignorance.
My local WalMart here in San Diego as well as one in Winter Haven Florida have been very helpful with me.
This one even gave me the bigger room than asked for so that i could have a bench as well as one for my toddler.
I think there should be some sort of penalty for the stores that do not follow this law. If they do not want to see it they should give her a dressing room! Plain and simple.
This isn’t the first incident I’ve heard of with WalMart employees and breastfeeding. I think some action is required from corporate to educate their employees on what is appropriate and what isn’t.
And maybe a course or two in decency. I cannot BELIEVE they had the gall to grab a cart with someone’s CHILD and personal belongings in it and tell them where to go. Regardless of whether or not she was nursing THAT is uncalled for and the employee should be reprimanded.
PS – Angela, there is a HUGE ad for Similac with Ty Pennington’s smiling face on your blog. And a banner on top with that on there as well. I don’t know what authority a design expert has on infant nutrition, but just thought you should know about the ads.
Hi Becky! Thanks for your comment and the heads-up on the ad! I have been working with my blog network to remove the ad. for a few weeks now — unfortunately there are several web addresses for the ad (similac, simplepac, similac.simplepac etc) and it seems as soon as we remove one, another appears! Rest assured I will keep working to make sure there are no f*rmula ads on the blog!
P.S. The company also directs the ad to one link that immediately re-directs to another link, making it very difficult to catch the proper address to ban. Just more evidence of the aggressive and inappropriate marketing of f*rmula!
Angela, I am so happy that you picked up this story! How ridiculous can you get?? To remove my child, nevermind my personal belongings, would drive a sane woman to violence (well, maybe that’s just me…LOL). And people wonder why breastfeeding moms get so irate when we get harassed.
Jennifer Nguyen, I understand what you are trying to say, but maybe they were more accomodating of you nursing in the store because you were nursing in a dressing room? Have you tried nursing in the rest of the store?
I wish every state had a law like NJ, where people can be charged and fined for breaking this law. It may be a slap on the wrist, but at least is some kind of consequence for breaking the law.
Jen B
I really detest the Walmarts here, but this makes me want to go nurse there just for the heck of it. I know it’s wrong but still. I would have simply told the employee “Go to h*ll” and ignored them. I saw the comments on WLTX and the ignorance of people simply saddened me.
I also live in South Carolina and I was not surprised to hear this story. Although I have not received treatment like that mentioned in Ashley’s story, I have gotten my fair share of looks and eyerolls while nursing my baby in my local walmart(and other places, for that matter!)
I wonder if anyone will be planning a walmart nurse in? I would love to participate in that!!
Holy cow! They moved her cart with her other child in it??!! I think that would give me enough reason to pull out my tazor I keep in my purse in case I’m ever attacked and put that guy in his place!! (which would be on the floor begging for mercy!)
Ok, I swear I’m not a violent, mean person…but you don’t mess with a mom’s kids or her right to feed them! My mama bear claws would be out!!
Ok so do woman that pull out a bottle for their baby get asked to feed them somewhere else? This pisses me off. Hello she was feeding her baby, every other woman gets to feed their child in public, Instead of yelling at her they should have said wow thats great that you are making your baby as healthy as possible. I would have told them off if that were me, and for them moving my cart while my other child was in it. Oh hell no they would have gotten an earful from me.
I am a breastfeeding mom and live only 1 1/2 hours from this offending walmart. I am all in for a breastfeeding sit in. Name the time, we all know the place and I will be there.
walmart sucks… and their not as innocent as they seem… I had to nurse in the bathroom, because they wouldnt let me nurse on the benches, because they were in the service desk area, and the changing rooms were all locked… I had no car at the time, and ended up sitting on the bathroom floor to nurse my baby… I have not gone back to that store since.
Nurse your baby all you want. I don’t care. I’m a mom myself. But I can also tell you that I would go somewhere PRIVATE (bathroom stall, fitting room, family restroom) to nurse my baby (or just pump a bottle to take for public outings…duh) if I were in a public area, as long as the place set aside for me was clean. I don’t think it’s too much to ask. One can also argue sanitation issues.
While it’s completely natural, it’s also rude to expose other people’s children to it. Just like if you have any class, you wouldn’t make out or have sex on a public bench with people watching. It’s natural, but do we need to see it? No.
Wal-Mart staff was out of bounds here, though.
Amy, you say you’re a Mom, but are/were you a breastfeeding Mom? Have you ever been in a public place and maybe ran out of the bottle of pumped milk (duh?) and your LO is hungry. Do you choose to let him starve so that other people don’t feel uncomfortable?
There are laws in place for a reason, and there is nothing "rude" about it.
Fo you to compare it to "making out" or having sex is ridiculous! There is nothing sexual about breastfeeding.
Amy, I would have to say that you are ignorant to suggest that a mom needs to pump milk to go out in public. I have a pump but I choose not to us it because he is always with me. My husband is deployed and there in no need to pump. How ridiculous of you to say that it is rude to expose other people’s children to it! I am assuming you mean yours! You must be one of those mom’s that teaches your children to be ashamed of their bodies. I hope you do not have any girls. Breastfeeding is natural, formula feeding is not. I bet you formula fed. Kudos to all you breastfeeding moms!
Not all woman can even pump, Non Breast feedingers have no clue how things work. Im not gonna feed my baby in a dirty ass restroom where they clean it what like 2 times a day, get real do you know how many germs are in a restroom????? I do feel tho that woman can use a shawl to cover themselves in public, If they chose not too then still noone has the right to tell them they cant feed their baby. Amy you say oh pump and whatever most woman cant pump and when you breast feed that is their bottle it is nowhere near the same as having sex in public are you kidding me? I breast fed and just finished a month ago, but I also did cover myself when I had to nurse in public. I just dont agree with most of what you wrote, the only thing I do agree on is woman can cover themselves, but I think it should still be their choice if they want to or not. I on the other hand did not want anyone seeing my boob so I chose to cover.
julie, i live in the myrtle beach area and i’d love to go to a nurse in in columbia!
Jaime: I tried breastfeeding, and I didn’t like it. I chose to express, and people like you made me feel like a terrible mother for it. Also, when planning to go out in public, I always took more than enough with me, and set a logical time frame around that. (The price of motherhood). Just like you don’t drive from NYC to LA on a half-tank of gas. Prior proper planning, after all, prevents poor performance. If I want to spend seven hours (or more) out of the house, I find a sitter, or save the trip until I have enough extra milk set aside. And if I ran out of milk, by some extraordinary circumstance, I’d find somewhere clean (emphasis on CLEAN and I wouldn’t expect anyone to nurse somewhere DIRTY) and PRIVATE to nurse, cause I don’t get off on flashing my jollies to people I don’t know. If I had no other choice, I would cover up my front with a blanket. It’s not that hard, I did actually do it while I was nursing.
In fact, a woman can nurse in the middle of Times Square, for all I care, as long as they at least ATTEMPT to take the public into consideration, and cover up with a blanket/shawl/etc.
Also, it takes more than 15 minutes (of finding a location and using it, or deeming it inappropriate) for a child of any age to starve. The worst you’d have to endure is a few minutes of crying. (Another price you pay for being a mom and still trying to have a life…haha).
Other people making out or having sex in public IS like breastfeeding, in that it does make SOME PEOPLE uncomfortable. The sexuality of it isn’t my point; and I know there’s nothing sexual about breastfeeding. There’s also nothing sexual about feet, but people still center adult films around them. Someone could be going home and thinking lusty thoughts about you feeding your baby; doesn’t that make your skin crawl?
Julissa: I have no intention of raising my child to be ashamed of her body, masturbation, sex, or any other natural functions. And maybe even some unnatural ones. But I am going to teach her which functions to excuse herself for (farting, burping, etc), and which ones to do in private (nose picking, self-pleasure). Just because I believe that something should be private or more private doesn’t mean that I’m ashamed of it, or embarrassed by it, by any means.
In terms of exposing my children to other people breastfeeding, yeah, I mean other people’s children. AND MINE. Obviously, I’m not the only one who feels this way, or this wouldn’t be such a hot-button issue.
Way to go for being the poster-mom for my point; you look down on women who use formula. And yes, I did formula feed, AS WELL as use breastmilk. Unfortunately, all the lactation-promoting pills in the world wouldn’t give me enough milk to feed my baby. And rather than let her starve, I gave her formula. Thanks for condemning me for doing what was right for my daughter, and for something I couldn’t help, though; I appreciate it.
You know what else isn’t natural? Today’s comaparitively-low maternal and infant mortality rates. Keeping babies born 3 months early in plastic boxes for months to keep them alive. Yet they are both good things. So don’t try to stand there and denounce formula (whether a mother chooses to use it to supplement, or to completely replace breastmilk) on the basis that it isn’t natural.
I guess you’d rather have a baby contract HIV or Hepatitis from their mother’s breastmilk than use horrible unnatural formula.
Also, my brother’s baby was born so lactose intolerant that his wife had no choice but to use an ultra-gentle soy-based formula, because even her natural breast milk made him violently ill. I guess that makes her a terrible mother too, by your standards.
Carissa: Not all women can pump? Well, not all women can nurse. (example: it can be extremely difficult, if not impossible for women with inverted nipples). That’s why they still make formula, and why they make breast pumps (which, if you read the directions, are actually pretty easy to figure out and take care of).
I’m glad you agree about the covering up thing, because at the end of the day, that’s all I’m really asking of ANYONE. If you want to breastfeed in public, for ANY REASON, I think it is courteous to cover yourself. I’m not saying that any woman has to pump, or has to use formula; it’s entirely a personal choice. I’m just saying that if a woman is going to do what has to be done, and do it publicly, then please take the public’s feelings into consideration. If you’re at a mom-and-baby playgroup, then obviously the rules change, because the people around you are a less diverse group; they’re all fellow moms, etc. Just use your judgment on what’s appropriate.
Although, considering the multitude of people completely devoid of proper etiquette I’ve met in my life, I don’t hold out much hope for consensus being reached on this subject.
FINAL NOTE: Breastfeed whenever, however, and wherever you want. That’s your right. But just because I have the right to spew racial epithets in public, doesn’t mean I do it. I also don’t curse in front of children. So by that logic, is it really so awful to ask you to drape a blanket over yourself if you’re going to feed in mixed company-public?
Besides, as I said before, a quiet more subdued environment promotes the let-down of milk, which makes nursing easier, and for older babies, is less distracting. And after all, we all want to do everything we can to do what’s best for our children.
amy: i’m sorry but if you feel that way about women nursing in public then you have two options.
the first being to walk away when seeing a mom nursing in public and the second is to try and get the state law changed.
until then, nursing moms have every right to breastfeeding their babies in public and they should NOT be made to feel odd or like some sort of freak for doing so. basically the law states that i do not have to take your feelings into consideration when it comes to feeding my child.
it’s quite silly to equate feeding a baby to ’spewing racial epithets.’ one act nourishes a life while the other, is essentially just words. last i checked a life wasn’t able to be sustained by words nor were scientists studying them in order to find a possible cure for cancer.
Amy ppl are gonna have dirty thoughts when they walk out the house, its not gonna take seeing someone nurse to do that. I dont see why woman that breast feed have to pump at all even if they are able too, I mean this is one reason some woman nurse, so they dont have to use bottles. Everyone has their opinions on this topic so no one here is gonna win, not that anyone is trying, but we could sit here and have a say on how everyone feels about this. Yes woman can cover up, its not hard, I mean why do you want others to see you?. But I dont think they should have to. I dont care if I see a woman nursing Im not gonna sit there and stare at her. I nursed in front of my nieces and nephew and they just thought It was natural, didnt think it was gross or weird just new I was feeding their cousin. But your right Amy woman can cover its not hard.
I don’t think I have EVER, EVER seen a woman expose more of her breast than is absolutely necessary to nurse. I know of no woman who gets her “jollies” by nursing in public. Its not like a woman needs to take her whole shirt off to nurse! (Although I have, when I was at home.) And there are nursing clothes that make it near impossible to tell that a woman is nursing. I bet you have seen plenty of women nursing their babies in public places (probably even WalMart!) and never even knew it. I have nursed in a Pizza Hut, and the people around me never knew I even had a baby with me, because I was nursing her nearly the whole time I was there. Next time you want to eat, how about you cover yourself up with a blanket? Makes it a little hard to eat, doesn’t it? Well, nursing with a blanket makes it hard for moms to get their babies latched on, especially new moms. And many babies simply won’t nurse with a blanket on their head, anyway (and who could blame them?). Older babies will frequently just yank it off, making the whole thing pointless. God gave us necks for a reason- just turn your head! Adults and children who “freak out” when they see a bit of breast exposed during nursing are only doing so because they have been brought up to think that breasts are dirty things. My cousins son (5 years at the time) saw me nursing my baby and thought nothing about it. Because his parents didn’t freak out, neither did he. If you are so worried about it, you should just teach your kids its not polite to stare. And never watch TV, look at magazines, play video games, walk down the street, go to a pool or the beach, or walk through the mall. Because, trust me, there is much more exposed in those places, than all the nursing breasts you might ever accidently see!
Amy wrote
“Jaime: I tried breastfeeding, and I didn’t like it. I chose to express, and people like you made me feel like a terrible mother for it.”
People like me? I in no way insulted you, I simply asked a question. Your response did not sound like one that would come from a breastfeeding Mom, and I wanted to clarify.
” Also, when planning to go out in public, I always took more than enough with me, and set a logical time frame around that. (The price of motherhood). Just like you don’t drive from NYC to LA on a half-tank of gas. Prior proper planning, after all, prevents poor performance. If I want to spend seven hours (or more) out of the house, I find a sitter, or save the trip until I have enough extra milk set aside.”
Even when I was EBFing and I would pump, I would only get 1-1.5 ounces per breast. Some woman’s bodies don’t respond well to a pump. There is absolutely no way I could pump enough to cover every time I leave the house.
As far as covering up, I do, I would prefer not to flash people if at all possible, I think the point though, and the laws to protect breastfeeding Moms, is for that just in case predicament, you know? If there was no place to go, and there was nothing to cover up, and baby needed to be fed.
“Other people making out or having sex in public IS like breastfeeding, in that it does make SOME PEOPLE uncomfortable. The sexuality of it isn’t my point; and I know there’s nothing sexual about breastfeeding. There’s also nothing sexual about feet, but people still center adult films around them. Someone could be going home and thinking lusty thoughts about you feeding your baby; doesn’t that make your skin crawl?”
I try not to think about what other people sexualize. Otherwise I’d never leave the house!
*sigh*
It’s all about education. Businesses need to be educated about breastfeeding just as much as people in general. And honestly, WAL-MART? Most people that breastfeed for extended periods of time are educated, right? I would bet that most of the employees at Wal-Mart are probably not very educated {Not saying that only College Grads or stay at home moms nurse} and they work. So how likely is it that the manager and employees actually know ANYTHING about breastfeeding??? Or if they did breastfeed I would be surprised if it was more than 6 weeks, if that.
I am a long time breast feeder {2 1/2 yrs}, I nurse in public whenever, where ever and I live in SC. I have never been harassed in anyway and those that have noticed, never say much or make nasty faces. I’m not showing more than I have to {although I pullout over the shirt instead of under} I never felt the need to cover up unless I was around a lot of men and have felt comfortable doing it anywhere.
I have pumped only a few times but didn’t like it so I didn’t do it. For the first year of DS life I never left him for more than 2 hours in anyone trip so I had no use for a pump and found them to be a waste of money for those of us who stay home.
I am a passionate breast feeder but I try very hard not to bash women who use formula or supplement because you never no what is going on or what went on in their life to turn them away from breastfeeding. Some women that can’t/won’t breastfeed may have a history of sexual abuse in their life. Or they may have had breast cancer, they maybe drug addicts, or they may just be crappy moms. You never know. So I feel that people should be sensitive to others who formula feed/supplement, just because you don’t know their reason behind it. I mean, it’s not like you’re going to be so rude to say, "HEY! Were you sexually abused as a kid?! Is that why you don’t breastfeed?"
And I say, Kudos to you Amy for trying. At LEAST you TRIED. Some women don’t do that much for their babies.
Seems pretty obvious to me that “Amy” just likes to come in to stories and cause trouble.
Angela, maybe you should consider removing obvious posts like hers? I’m not into censorship but really, she takes the cake! And the result is it just disrupts the nice conversation that you had going…=}
I am putting this same disclaimer on each of the recent controversial posts:
I leave the comments open to opinions on both sides. In general, comments will not be deleted unless, in my opinion, they involve name-calling or threatening, or are generally offensive. Debate is fine, opinion is fine, calling someone “a terrible person” is not fine (yes someone did this and that is why her comment did not appear). I have also edited comments to delete inappropriate material but let the rest of the comment stand. If a particular post becomes too much of a problem, I will close the comments.
Here is the comment policy, but I use my discretion in all cases:
http://www.breastfeeding123.com/let%e2%80%99s-talk-about-breasts-baby-let%e2%80%99s-talk-about-you-and-me/
i would also like to add that babies are never allergic to a mother’s milk.
i know amy commented that she new a baby who had to be put on soy because of cow milk sensitivities but mother’s milk is not dairy based.
however, it is the mother’s diet that causes allergens to pass through the breastmilk. all a mother would have to do is cut out dairy.
i just wanted to add that in case someone read this who was not aware.
For those that think breastfeeding in public is dirty or shameful, please check out Jennifer James’ blog at http://www.mothering.com/jenniferjames/
In it she has some wonderful photos from the early 20th century (1900-1940s or so) that show that nursing in public was perfectly acceptable in our country less than a century ago. With the rise of formula companies and their marketing strategies, breastfeeding began to be seen as undesireable and even shameful. That concept has become so ingrained in our culture that some people don’t even realize that it wasn’t always this way!
jennifer b, thank you! i absolutely love mothering but had not seen this blog, it is beyond fascinating and the images are beautiful!