Success the Second Time Around

The breastfeeding story series continues with this installment from Kerri, mother of three:

“I knew I would breastfeed. When my oldest was born, I didn’t take any classes or even read all that much. I assumed it would come naturally to me like it had to the few friends of mine who’d already had kids. It didn’t. It was painful, I bled, I scabbed, it was awful. The help that I tried to get was not helpful. The advice was just to keep putting the baby on, no matter what, every 2-2.5 hours. I would try to feed her, then would dread and fear every minute that counted down to the next feeding time. I was starting to resent the time spent trying, and I didn’t want to start turning that resentment toward the baby. I only lasted 2 weeks. I felt guilty for 2 years. I truly felt like a failure, especially when friends who delivered after me just plopped their babies on and succeeded. Ugh.

When I got pregnant with my second, I knew I wanted to try again. I read Dr. William Sears’s The Breastfeeding Book until I had the whole process memorized. Every position, every angle, every detail, every problem shooting scenario. I also told myself that I would not feel guilty if it didn’t work. My daughter was raised on formula, and is healthy, smart, and wonderfully well. There was no reason to feel guilty.

I succeeded with both of my boys. One nursed for 7 months, the other for 6 months. To be honest, though, neither of them nursed easily. One of my closest friends had all three of her babies nurse just perfectly naturally. Mine both took lots of work and training to get it all to happen. It was worth it, but it wasn’t easy.

I often have other mothers-to-be ask me my thoughts on it all. I tell them that, if they have any touch of a desire to nurse, to give it everything they’ve got. It would be worse to be talked out of it and always wonder what the experience would have been like. So, give it your best. But if it doesn’t work for them, that there is nothing wrong with a baby raised on formula. I have one, and she’s just as awesome as the other two. And NOT to feel guilty. No one benefits from that.”

Kerri writes several blogs: My Name Is Mommy, Play Library and The 80s Club.

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