Breastfeeding 1-2-3 » extended breastfeeding

The Boundaries for Nursing in Public

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 12:38:11 +0000

Last night I volunteered in my second grader’s classroom for the holiday party. Luckily the teacher welcomes younger siblings so I had my 5-year-old and 1-year-old with me as well. At one point, my 1-year-old asked to nurse (she patted me on my upper chest, a sign which some other women recognize and some do not ). The students were all busy with their crafts and there were other parent volunteers to help them, so I sat down and nursed my toddler. By now, seven years into this breastfeeding gig, I am a pro at nursing in public and am comfortable doing it pretty much anywhere, anytime. But last night did get me wondering, are there times or places that even the most staunch advocate of breastfeeding will not nurse in public? What about you?

Photo by Debaird(TM)

Of course I draw the line at nursing any place unsanitary or unsafe. Other than that I am pretty comfortable breastfeeding almost anywhere. But I wonder about next year, when my oldest is in 3rd grade, my next is in kindergarten, and my toddler is 2. Will I be comfortable nursing a 2-year-old in the classroom? Does extended breastfeeding in public reflect badly on a mother and her other children when it is done in a setting where the other people are most likely not familiar with or comfortable with extended breastfeeding? I certainly won’t go out of my way to nurse my toddler in public (I never do, but I do put her needs on the top of the list. The dilemma arises when her needs conflict with the needs of my older children (i.e., the need not to be judged for their mother’s breastfeeding beliefs)).

What about when my toddler is a preschooler? I know I never nursed my first child when she was at her preschool. I don’t think the teachers even knew she was “still” breastfeeding. I thought they might be uncomfortable with it and would treat her (and me) differently.

So, what are your thoughts? Are there any restrictions you place on when, where, or at what nursling age you will or will not nurse in public?

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Breastfeeding while Pregnant: Mom to Mom 22

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 06:13:08 +0000

When I wrote about Five Toddler Sleep Lessons, Rosemary left a question in the comments section:

Interesting to read all your experiences and to see what a common problem this is…I’m in a tough situation so your advice would be helpful.

I’ve co-slept with my son since he was 3 months old, and it has worked great for us. He wakes up to nurse, then falls right back asleep. Neither of us wake up fully, so I’ve been able to have great sleep from from about 12 mos until now (24 mos.)

But over the last 2 weeks his sleep has been terrible. He won’t go to bed until 10:30 (used to sleep easily at 8:30) and wakes up 3 times a night nursing voraciously (like, 30-40 minutes!). I’m pregnant (2 mos) and get so irritated with this! I take him off the breast but then he cries and cries. My husband then comes and tries to comfort him but he won’t go to him at all during the night, and gets really agitated.

I’m so worn out and am thinking of night weaning, but hate the thought of having him cry for long periods of time. Partly cuz I don’t want to cause him upset, but also cuz it is horrible to listen to during the night.

Any suggestions?

Rosemary, congratulations on your pregnancy! Breastfeeding while pregnant can be a challenge emotionally and physically. My guess is that your milk supply has started to diminish a bit (which is normal during pregnancy) and/or your milk has started to taste a little salty (also a normal change). Some nurslings (like my first daughter) continue on nursing as if nothing had changed, but others are affected by the changes.

Photo by Jessicafm

I highly recommend that you check out a copy of the book Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond by Hilary Flower. It describes the experience of breastfeeding while pregnant and the various emotions it triggers in both mother and nursling. You are not alone! Two other books that might be helpful are Mothering Your Nursing Toddler and How Weaning Happens.

As for more immediate, practical advice, try offering your son a bedtime snack and some extra fluids (my suggestions would be water, milk or a cow’s milk alternative like almond milk). Does he drink from a cup, a sippy cup, or a cup and straw? Offer him his alternative drink in that cup. Have the same cup — this time filled with water only — available for drinking during the night. You can still nurse him for as long as you are willing, then offer the cup. I found that it helped to give my nursling some warning, either by offering to nurse for the length of the ABC song, or by counting down at the end of a nursing session (10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-done!). Be sure to talk to him about the plan ahead of time, during the day and not just as you’re going to bed. “Mommy is extra tired and would like to get a good night’s sleep. We will nurse while I sing the ABC song, and then you can have your special cup! If you wake up in the night, your cup will be right there and I can sing you back to sleep.” Keep repeating your plan, whatever it might be, throughout the day and then remind him at night. “Remember how we talked about nursing to the ABC song?” He might still be upset, and you might have to keep working on a plan that suits you both. If he is verbal enough, you might even try asking him to help come up with a solution. “Mama’s mum-mums aren’t making as much milk, are they? What would you like to drink instead? Would you like your sippy cup or this special straw?” You never know, your son might surprise you! Different children have different temperaments, and you know what will work best with your son.

Does anyone else have advice for Rosemary? If you breastfed while pregnant, what was your experience like?

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Cue the Applause

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 02:54:40 +0000

Some women breastfeed for the health benefits for their babies and themselves. Some women breastfeed for the cost savings. Some women do it as part of a parenting style. And some women do it for a combination of those reasons. Me? I do it for the applause.

My happy toddler

Yesterday my 14-month-old nursed on one breast, popped herself off, sat up and clapped! Then she leaned in and hugged me before she switched to the other side. When she was done on that side, she popped herself off again, sat up, clapped, and hugged me again! When she saw my delight at this “game,” it continued for several repeat performances. She doesn’t say many words yet, but I could swear she was saying, “Thanks for the milk, Mom! I love you!”

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ABC’s 20/20 Features “Extreme Breastfeeding: When to Stop?”

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 18:05:26 +0000

This Friday, December 12, 2008, ABC’s 20/20 will run a piece on “Extreme Breastfeeding: When to Stop?” You can see a preview video of the interview that features lactation consultant Robyn, who breastfeeds her 5-year-old kindergartner. Robyn is very well-spoken and I want to commend her for doing the interview and presenting a positive image of extended breastfeeding!

The segment also includes renowned anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler, Ph.D. Kathy has written several fascinating commentaries on extended breastfeeding, including “A Natural Age of Weaning.”

Watch the preview video, watch the full program tomorrow, and please come back and leave a comment to share your thoughts!

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Oprah, Please Do Your Homework on Extended Breastfeeding!

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 17:13:12 +0000

Oprah is looking for breastfeeding mothers to appear on a future show:

Are You Too Old to Breast-feed?

Are you currently breast-feeding your son or daughter? How old is he or she? Do you wonder what age is appropriate to wean your child? Do you think your family and/or friends feel uncomfortable around you or discussing the topic of breast-feeding?

What is your position on when to wean your child? We want to hear your thoughts.

Please only write-in if you are willing to appear on television.

“Are you too old to breastfeed?” Why no, I don’t think I’m too old to breastfeed — I’m only 37! Just teasing, Oprah. I know what you mean. I am a little nervous though. It seems the topic of extended breastfeeding was not handled well by Tyra Banks on her show. I am trusting you to do your homework before airing a show on the topic of extended breastfeeding. Here are some resources for you:

~ How Long Should I Nurse My Baby? and A Natural Age of Weaning by Katherine Dettwyler, Ph.D.
~ Extended Breastfeeding (Beyond One Year), links compiled by La Leche League International
~ Nursing after the First Year, a collection of articles at Kellymom.com
~ my own thoughts on extended breastfeeding and weaning

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Extended Breastfeeding to Be Discussed on the Tyra Banks Show

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 23:15:50 +0000

On Thursday, July 3, 2008, the Tyra Banks show will feature Veronika Robinson (author of The Drinks Are on Me), who will share her experience with breastfeeding her children until they were ages 7 and nearly 8. She has written about her experience before, in an essay entitled Extraordinary Breastfeeding.

Here’s the blurb from the Tyra Banks show about the episode “Motherhood Controversy”:

With her audience filled with mothers, Tyra hosts a no-holds-barred conversation about the pressures they face today. Tyra speaks with a woman who defends her controversial decision to breastfeed her kids until they were 8 years old, and a woman who believes it is acceptable to breastfeed her children in public. Then a young woman explains her desire to be a stay-at-home wife and mother — even though her own mother raised her to be a career woman. Next, emotions get heated when stay-at-home mothers debate working moms on who makes the better parent.

Perhaps I should be excited to see the topic of extended breastfeeding being discussed on an American talk show, but I cannot imagine the discussion will be productive or enlightening. The promo clip shows Tyra admitting, “I find it quite odd!” And, gee, how did the show manage to find “a woman who believes it is acceptable to breastfeed her children in public”?! I wish nursing in public weren’t controversial, and I hope at least there is a sensible mention of the various federal and state laws that protect a mother/baby pair’s right to breastfeed in public. I won’t be watching (no television at our house at the moment) so please do post a comment here if you get a chance to see the show!

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Breastfeeding May Cut Rheumatoid Arthritis Risk in Half

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:24:53 +0000

A study for the Annals of the Rheumatic Diseases revealed new ideas about the ability of breastfeeding to prevent rheumatoid arthritis. BBC News reports:

They found women who had breastfed for 13 months or more were half as likely to develop rheumatoid arthritis as those who had never breastfed. Those who breastfed for between one and 12 months had a 25% decreased risk. The study also found that simply having children and not breastfeeding did not seem to protect the women against developing rheumatoid arthritis.

More study is needed in this area to determine exactly what role breastfeeding and lifestyle choices play in the prevention of rheumatoid arthritis. In the meantime, add this to the list of reasons extended breastfeeding is beneficial for both mother and baby!

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

A Toddler with Leukemia

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:12:06 +0000

Cancer is the topic for this month’s theme day here at the Health and Wellness Channel at b5media. I have written a lot about how breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer and ovarian cancer in the mother. This time I want to focus on cancer and the breastfed infant. The good news is that breastfeeding reduces the risk that a child will develop leukemia. Unfortunately, it can still happen. In that case, imagine what comfort a child with cancer could take from nursing at his mother’s breast, not to mention the potential benefit of the promising anti-cancer properties of breast milk.

Jonathan is a two-and-a-half year old nursling with leukemia. You can read his story here. Start with the “my story” page then follow his current progress in the family’s “journal.” Before you go, make sure to leave a supportive comment in “guestbook.”

Can you imagine if a nursing toddler were denied the comfort of breastfeeding during treatment? Remember the controversy over the Ronald McDonald House policy on breastfeeding in public?

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Three Already

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 04:46:11 +0000

My youngest daughter turned three this past week. Her birthday brought a rush of emotions for me. Amazement: how could she be three already? Surprise: where did that growth spurt come from and how did she suddenly (but right on schedule) fit into her 3T clothes? Pride: she is so much fun, even as she grows more independent and tells me, “No! I like it the way I like it!” Trepidation: I remember when my first daughter turned three. That was the age when breastfeeding really became suspect. Up until then, the people around me generally supported the nursing relationship. After all, “two” is still a little babyish. But when “two” turned to “three,” we apparently crossed a line. I rarely had occasion to nurse in public, but there were times when I did — when I put my child’s needs above what strangers thought of us nursing. I certainly didn’t feel comfortable though letting the other preschool mothers and the teachers know that we were nursing. The only person I made a point to tell was our pediatrician. Doctors need to know that “extended” breastfeeding is a normal practice, and that it produces healthy children who hardly ever need to visit the doctor!

This time around, I dread the feeling of having to “closet” our nursing relationship. I won’t go out of the way to hide the fact that we’re nursing, but I won’t encourage it in public and I will discourage it (delay, distract, etc.) in certain situations. My daughter comes first, but now, when she’s three, I get the sense that part of putting her first means backing off the nursing in public.

What do you all think? Was there a time when you no longer felt comfortable nursing in public? Did it happen at age three or a lot younger?

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Wordless Wednesday: My Toddler Nursing Photo

Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:17:38 +0000

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