Ranging from just plain wrong to downright raunchy, lactation consultants (LCs) get called a lot of different names. Some are misguided, some are terms of endearment. These names provide a little breastfeeding humor to augment enhance brighten up your Friday!
Thanks to all the Lactnetters for sharing these substitutes for “Lactation Consultant”:
Location consultant (This is probably the most common. One woman was even listed under the real estate section in her local chamber of commerce directory!)
Lactitian
Lactitionist (as in “nutritionist”?)
Lactritionist
“The lactose intolerant – I mean the lactose tolerant – oh you know, what you are!”
Breast Lady
Milk Lady
Itty Bitty Titty Committee (now …read more

I planned to do another post on funny search terms that lead people to Breastfeeding 1-2-3, but as I scanned the recent popular search phrases, I came across some interesting searches that lead to actual Breastfeeding 1-2-3 posts on the topic. Click on the links to see what I have posted about:
1. whale milk
2. paladai
3. baby green stool
4. milk in eyes (15 searches for this! Do you think they actually intended to find a post about breast milk in eyes?)
5. worst cities in america
6. the other boleyn girl book quotes
7. bitty booties
8. human rights complaints against delta airlines
9. how to …read more

A while back I asked for reader input on what nurslings call breastfeeding. Here is a compilation of some of the subtle — and not-so-subtle — code words children use for nursing!
boobs
booby monster
deets (from “You want to eat?”)
I love you (awww!!)
milkies
milky time
mimi’s
mommy moo moo juice
more
mum mum
na
na na’s
neesh
num num
nurse
nursies
nursing
[sign language signs for "milk" or "please"]
side (as in “other side”)
ssss
teca or tica (from the Spanish “tomar tetica” or “drink from the breast”)
two-sies
ursing
Have a nursing nickname to add to the list? Leave a comment!

Welcome to the latest Carnival of Breastfeeding: What’s so funny about breastfeeding? Breastfeeding humor is one of my favorite topics. In the past I have had a lot of fun with the silly search engine terms people use to end up at Breastfeeding 1-2-3. Time for another installment! For more breastfeeding funnies, check out the other carnival entries at the end of this post.
1. “angela white n*ude”
I am flattered. Really. But I can promise you will never see n*ude photos of me here. My toddler nursing photo is as close as you will get!
2. “angela the breastfeeding queen”
Okay, now I …read more

In my house, breasts are called “mum-mums” or, well, “breasts.” So I am not sure where my 3-year-old came up with this one (although we already know she has a knack for mixing up words).
My daughter was dancing around the room, possibly even “shaking her booty.” When she wanted me join in, she commanded, “Shake your booby!”

Resolved:
1. Not to take out my contact lenses for bedtime before I find my darn eyeglasses for reading bedtime stories.
2. Not to do anything incriminating (like, say, shave my nipple hairs) in front of my three-year-old, who will promptly give me away–loudly–to anyone who will listen.
3. Not to let the Cheerios littering the floor of my car get crushed, then spilled on, then formed into dried lumps permanently stuck to the carpeting.
4. Not to compete with other mothers. (I try not to do that. I’m really a nice person. Nicer than most mothers, I think. Better at not competing…. Oops.)
5. …read more

We do not talk about my pregnancy and the new baby much, given that it will (hopefully!) be another seven months before the baby’s arrival, but my 5-year-old is already seeing the advantages of having a new family member around.
5-year-old: “Mom, the baby can hear your voice.”
Me [impressed]: “Yes!”
5-year-old: “The baby can hear me.”
Me: “Um-hmm.”
5-year-old: “The baby can hear the television.”
Me [wondering where this is going]: “Yes….”
5-year-old [triumphantly]: “The baby wants to watch a kids’ show!”

In no particular order, some funny breastfeeding sayings on t-shirts and bumper stickers seen on Cafepress.com:
1. Why buy the cow when you get mama’s milk for free?
2. Mothersucker.
3. All night milk bar.
4. Weapons of mass lactation.
5. Choosy toddlers choose breastmilk.
6. If nursing in public offends you, please feel free to put a blanket over your head!
7. Silly Daddy, boobs are for babies!
8. Blissed out on breastmilk.
9. My honor student was breast-fed.
and one of my favorites:
10. Mommy’s milk is better than any udder milk!