I enjoy the toddler stage too, don’t get me wrong. There’s something to love about every age and stage. At the same time, when each child passes into a new phase, I tend to mourn the old phase as I celebrate the new one.

Photo by Lsianny85

For some people the mourning turns into a sort of baby lust and thoughts turn to expanding the family again. I am not one of those people at the moment (LOL), but I am watching all of my friends decide the size of their families. Yesterday I applauded someone who held a friend’s adorable newborn baby and was still able to say she was happy to stand firm on her decision to have two — and only two — children.

For the record I’ll say that I am happy to have three children. It hasn’t been easy, and I’ve wanted to throttle the people who blithely assured me that the transition from two to three children is easier than the transition from one to two. (Those people either have short memories, different child spacing, or more support than I have had).
I won’t say never to four, but I will say that I am quite happy with three. When I hear others contemplating a third, I never know exactly what to say. I want to tell them it’s incredibly hard (I think particularly so for the attachment parent, but feel free to disagree with me in the comments). Incredibly hard balanced with incredibly amazing. In the end I guess all I wish is that others, should they choose to have three or more, do so with eyes wide open and with plenty of hands-on support from family and friends.

Breastfeeding and Family Size

Breastfeeding helped me transition from one to two children because I tandem nursed. While that took an adjustment period in the beginning, I was very happy to tandem nurse for months afterward. By the time of my third pregnancy, my second child was three and her interest in nursing was low, which meant my milk supply was low too and it became very uncomfortable for me to nurse after the first trimester. There were many times after my third baby was born that I wished I were tandem nursing again though.

All this has got me wondering, how has breastfeeding affected your family size? Did the incredible bonding make you want more children? Did breastfeeding impact your fertility and change the child spacing you might have preferred? Have your feelings on the ideal family size changed over time? How have you and your partner made decisions about family size?

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

If a woman follows the Lactational Amenorrhea Method (LAM) exactly, she has less than a 2% chance of becoming pregnant in the six months after giving birth. LAM has three requirements:

1. The woman’s menstrual period has not returned.
2. The baby is breastfed on demand throughout the day and night with no more than four hours between feedings during the day and six hours at night.
3. The baby is less than six months old.

Is LAM still effective if you’re pumping and bottle-feeding? No. The baby’s suckling at the breast plays a role in suppressing ovulation.

Keep in mind that not everyone feels comfortable with the Lactational Amenorrhea Method of birth control. This Pregnancy Guide article from November 2, 2006, cautions against it:

Some experts believe that if you’re exclusively breastfeeding, you’re protected from pregnancy. The theory goes like this: Breastfeeding curbs hormones that trigger ovulation. Some experts say that as long as you’ve had no periods since you gave birth, are nursing at least every four hours during the day and every six at night, and your baby is less than 6 months old, you won’t get pregnant. But BabyCenter lactation expert Susan Condon says every woman’s body responds differently to the hormonal influences of breastfeeding, so even if you’re nursing your newborn all the time, you might be wise to consider yourself fertile. LAM is risky because you’ll probably ovulate before you get your first period, so you can get pregnant without warning. And studies have shown that getting pregnant too soon after giving birth can increase your chances of pregnancy complications, such as preterm labor, and of having a low-birthweight baby.

I tend to agree that LAM is a bit risky. I believe I ovulated and had a period within eight weeks after giving birth (although my periods subsequently went away due to postpartum hyperthyroidism). LAM would not have been reliable for me.

I still think LAM has its merits, particularly when combined with other natural family planning methods. I highly recommend the book pictured above, Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler (click on that title link for more information about the 10th anniversary edition that just came out on November 1, 2006). Taking Charge of Your Fertility simply and clearly explains how to monitor fertility signs such as basal body temperature, cervical fluid and cervical position. By paying attention to those signs a woman can better prevent or achieve pregnancy as she desires. (Keep in mind that getting an accurate basal body temperature requires adequate amounts of sleep–something rare for most new mothers!)

What do you think? Would you or have you relied on LAM as birth control? Have you experienced difficulty with the return of your fertility while breastfeeding?

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3