I am actually taking my first trip with my 4 month old this weekend to a wedding. It will be a 7 hour car drive – any advice for the car trip? And on a tangent – any advice for breastfeeding in a dress or am I doomed for separates?

Great question! When my first daughter was four months old we drove from Boston to Detroit and the trip went really well. Car trips with a baby take just a little advance planning. Hopefully other readers will chime in with their advice, after I get started with these tips:

1. Build in extra time for the trip. I have learned from experience that car trips with an infant generally take one and a half times longer than usual. Unless you’ve got a champion “car sleeper” whose tendency is to sleep whenever the car is in motion, you must build in time for additional stops. Diaper changes, nursing sessions, and much needed break time add up faster than you first think they will. So that 7-hour car trip might well take 10.5 hours. If it takes less than that you will be pleasantly surprised, but if it takes that long or longer at least you will have anticipated that and do not have to feel pressured or stressed out.

2. Plan your departure time accordingly. Not only do you need to build in extra time for the trip, you also need to determine the optimal time of departure. If your baby sleeps well in the car at night, then perhaps you want to consider starting out shortly before bedtime. If your baby is like mine and despises being in the car in the dark, you naturally want a morning departure. The key is to maximize the amount of time the baby will sleep in the car. So leave when the baby will be happy for a bit as the adventure starts, and then have sleep time in the car.

3. Make sure the car seat is safe and comfortable. Does your baby need a head rest or a rolled up receiving blanket so that car naps don’t cause a stiff neck?

My baby in her car seat

4. Bring the favorite toys and some new ones too! Of course you wouldn’t leave without baby’s favorite blanket, chew toy, or pacifier. It can help to have some new toys to introduce when your baby gets bored with everything else. For older babies who can eat solid foods, food can become excellent entertainment. Cheerios, grape quarters, bits of cheese — anything that can be doled out one by one to draw out the entertainment value!

5. Music can be a lifesaver. A few of my favorites are the folksy The Sun Upon the Lake Is Low and lullabies from All Through the Night by Mae Robertson and the energetic Victor Vito by Laurie Berkner. It’s great to introduce your child to the songs in advance so they’ll be familiar for the trip. Be prepared to sing your old stand-by tunes too — over, and over, and over again! “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” and “The Wheels on the Bus” are good choices for repetitive songs to distract and lull your baby into sleep.

6. Never stop the car when the baby is sleeping! Plan gas stops and food breaks for when the baby is awake. Don’t be forced to stop when your baby is sleeping or you waste that precious time!

7. Consider the best seating arrangements. If someone besides you can drive, then consider whether it will be better for you to be next to your baby in the back seat, or if being able to see you just makes your baby want to get out of the car seat.

8. Go with the flow. If you’re traveling with another adult as well, it’s important that you both are on the same page about the time you think the trip will take, where you plan to stop for diaper changes and nursing sessions (i.e., is your partner prepared to stop as soon as the baby is crying, no matter if it’s not at the rest stop you were aiming to reach?), and what you will do if the baby simply needs a break from driving. The more the both of you are willing to go with the flow, the more pleasant the trip will be.

As for nursing in a dress, you’ve got four options: (1) buy a nursing dress, (2) wear a wrap dress or one with a loose neckline or arms holes that can be pulled to the side for nursing, (3) wear separates, or (4) wear a regular dress but be prepared to go someplace private to hike it up or unzip it to nurse. I’ve done all those things at different times and find I prefer the options that allow me not to have to leave the action, especially for a wedding!

Mom-to-Mom Advice

I’d love to hear what others have done to help make car trips go smoothly. Did you find the trip took longer than expected? What advice do you have? Leave a comment!

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