Overall I found the recommendations to be right on. I particularly liked the discussion of how to help your older child feel included, and how colostrum changes into mature milk and mature milk consists of foremilk and hindmilk (see my article on “Amazing Ever-Changing Breast Milk” for more on those concepts). I’m glad the video stresses that a feeding can take up to an hour, although I didn’t like the statement that a woman should nurse for at least 15 minutes on each side in order to make sure the baby gets enough hindmilk. Don’t misinterpret that statement to mean that you should break the latch and switch sides at precisely 15 minutes. As my 4.5-year-old knows, your baby will tell you when he’s finished on one side.

I also didn’t like the statements about how breastfeeding isn’t for everyone and you shouldn’t be surprised if you have trouble with it. If you have trouble with it, get help! Seek support just as the video goes on to recommend.

VideoJug: Successful breastfeeding: a beginner’s guide to getting started

For more information see Tips for Getting Breastfeeding off to a Good Start and an article on how to get support and help for breastfeeding from family, friends and professionals.

For more free breastfeeding videos, click here.

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2. Lie down in bed. If you have not yet mastered the side-lying position, I highly recommend that you do so ASAP! This is one of the best ways for a mother to get some rest. (Of course, make sure that the bed conditions are safe for the baby in case you both happen to fall asleep while nursing–a beautiful thing!)

3. Drink water and eat a healthful snack. It’s a good idea to keep water handy and have easy snacks ready to grab on your way to the rocking chair or glider. Try carrot sticks, an apple or a banana.

4. Watch television. As long as your baby is not distracted by the noise, this can be a nice way for you to enjoy some down time.

5. Read a book.

6. Read a book to your older child(ren). Make an effort to include your other children in that special snuggle time on the couch.

7. Play a game with your older child(ren). Some mothers find it helpful to use a sling to nurse, freeing up both hands for a game of Candy Land or Chutes and Ladders. If you don’t have older children, a sling can help free up your hands for housecleaning (who am I kidding though–I am more likely to use the time to rest, eat, watch television or do all three at once!)

8. Talk on the telephone. Once you’ve mastered breastfeeding, those nursing sessions are a great time to catch up on some adult conversation!

9. Appreciate the quiet. Appreciate this special time with your child, no matter how crazy the rest of your day has been.

10. Congratulate yourself on the great job you are doing as a mother. As corny as it sounds, you should be proud of your accomplishment in nursing your child!

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My husband was instrumental in helping me establish a successful nursing relationship with my first-born. He helped position her at the breast, and he “oohed and aahed” over the sight of her nursing. He even took pictures of those first nursing sessions! He praised both me and the baby and delighted in our success. At home, he supported us by bringing her to me when she needed to nurse, by setting us up with pillows, and by bringing me water or food or the television remote! During the night, he supported us by taking over the diapering duties. He encouraged me and cared for me during my repeated bouts of engorgement, plugged ducts and mastitis. I can’t imagine not having his support during those times.

My husband has supported me in other ways – by being comfortable with my nursing in public, for example. In spite of my mother-in-law’s extended breastfeeding of her children, my father-in-law was not comfortable with my breastfeeding in public. Fortunately, he agreed that my husband makes the rules for our family, and if it was alright with my husband it was alright with him (good thing, because I also make the rules for our family and nothing was going to stop me from nursing in public!)

My husband encouraged me to continue nursing as one by one all of my playgroup friends weaned their babies (at anywhere from 6 to 18 months). He encouraged me as I faced medical conditions for which the doctors recommended I wean. He even encouraged me to continue nursing when my own resolve to continue wavered!

Not only is my husband wonderfully supportive of me, he is also an amazing parent. One of my greatest joys has been watching him act as a father to our two children. He shares a unique bond with each of them. He has a special way of comforting, teaching, and playing that adds another dimension to their development.

Every mother and child should have such a supportive person in their lives. Certainly there are other people who can also offer support – other relatives, friends and special people – but the mother-child pair who have a supportive husband/father in their lives are lucky indeed.

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During that short window after the birth where the baby is alert and awake, it is so wonderful for mother and baby to have the time together to get to know each other and to start the breastfeeding relationship in a positive manner. The colostrum boosts the baby’s immunity, and the mother receives the satisfaction of knowing that she is helping her tiny baby in that way. The baby gets the ultimate form of comfort after the naturally stressful experience of being born.

Soon the wheels of supply and demand begin turning, and the more time the baby spends at the breast, the better and more satisfying the relationship. Those first nursing sessions not only help the mother’s milk come in, but they also act as practice sessions for when that milk finally does start flowing. It’s a lot of work for both mother and baby to learn how to position themselves and how to latch on properly.

The mother is so vulnerable during the first days to pressures to formula-feed and to use artificial pacifiers. When faced with a crying baby, a mother may worry and wonder whether she has enough milk to meet her baby’s needs. If the mother is able to soothe the baby’s crying at the breast, and to have positive nursing sessions before and just after the milk comes in, then she is well on her way to having a satisfying relationship. On the other hand, if she is told to leave her baby in the nursery, to let the nurses bottle-feed her baby so that she can rest, to supplement when the baby seems fussy even after a nursing session, to pacify with an artificial nipple–that can start a dangerous downward spiral that undermines the mother’s confidence in her ability to breastfeed.

It takes a surprising number of people to get the breastfeeding relationship off to a good start – the mother, the baby, the birth attendants (doula, midwives, nurses, doctors), partner or spouse and other family members, lactation consultants and La Leche League leaders. All of those people have the power influence whether the mother and baby get the proper time together to establish a good relationship and an adequate milk supply.

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Speaking of emailing me, click the links below read how to:

Submit your breastfeeding story

Submit a question for the Mom-to-Mom series

If you’re not participating in the NaBloPoMo challenge as a blogger, please consider participating as a reader! Your challenge is to comment on at least one blog (pick me! pick me!) every day for the month of November. It’s easy to comment on Breastfeeding 1-2-3 (no registration required) and if you’re uncomfortable using your name or email address, you can always post under an assumed name and type in “sorry@dontpostit.com” for the email address. The challenge starts tomorrow, but feel free to leave a comment today!

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~ nursing in public
~ difficulties overcome
~ adoptive breastfeeding
~ toddler nursing
~ nursing while pregnant
~ tandem nursing
~ pumping
~ weaning
~ how your experience giving birth affected your first nursing moments
~ your code word for nursing
~ nighttime parenting (please, no cry-it-out)
~ support from a spouse/partner/neighbor/friend
~ breastfeeding multiples
~ whatever your personal experience entails

As always you may write anonymously, use a pen name, use your real name and/or link to your own blog where appropriate. I look forward to reading your stories!

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1. Husband/partner. If the breastfeeding mother is in a relationship, it’s important that her partner supports breastfeeding. A husband might want to give the baby a bottle–it’s such a pervasive image of how babies are fed in today’s society. A mother can reassure her husband that there will be plenty of opportunities for him to feed the baby bottles of expressed breast milk once the nursing relationship is well established. In the meantime, a mother can suggest that her husband help with burping, cuddling and diapering the baby. (If he insists on giving the baby a bottle, offer him the 3 a.m. feeding!) In my own situation, I can say that my husband quickly realized the benefits of nursing our daughter. He loved that nursing instantly satisfied her needs for thirst, hunger, comfort and pacifying.

2. Neighbor/friend. Friends and neighbors can support the nursing mother in two ways. First, they can set a good example with their own nursing relationships. Second, they can offer to bring a hot meal when the mother is recovering from birth or volunteer to babysit an older child while the mother naps with the baby.

3. Medical professionals. A mother’s obstetrician and the baby’s pediatrician can help get the nursing relationship off to a good start by encouraging the mother to breastfeed as soon as possible after the birth. They can continue to support breastfeeding by helping the mother to make medical decisions for herself and her baby that are compatible with continued nursing.

4. Doula/birth attendant/postpartum doula. Having an experienced person assist the mother during the birth can help her have a positive birth experience with minimal medical interventions, which in turn allows the mother to breastfeed shortly after the birth. A postpartum doula offers on-going support and guidance as the new family settles in at home. To learn more about doulas and how to hire one, go to Dona International.

5. Lactation consultant. A lactation consultant is specially trained to assist mothers in breastfeeding and can be particularly helpful if the new mother needs to be seen in the hospital or at home. Board certified lactation consultants (IBCLCs) have passed an independent examination and demonstrated the necessary skills, knowledge and attitude to support breastfeeding mothers. To find a board certified lactation consultant, click here. Many hospitals offer the services of a lactation consultant as part of a mother’s stay in the hospital and for a short time after she returns home. Some pediatricians also partner with lactation consultants in their medical offices.

6. Breastfeeding support group. Some hospitals and birthing centers offer support meetings and breastfeeding classes for mothers and their newborns. I took a class the day after my first daughter was born, and I found it particularly helpful to get that instruction when I had a baby in my arms for practicing the techniques.

7. La Leche League or other breastfeeding organization. La Leche League and other breastfeeding organizations around the world provide information, support and meetings for mothers, newborns and nursing toddlers. There’s a permanent link to LLL in the sidebar at the bottom right of this page.

8. Internet support. Several on-line communities exist for breastfeeding support. For information, one particularly helpful site is www.askdrsears.com (also linked on this page). Kellymom.com has message boards for information and support on a variety of topics.

9. Librarian. When we talked about recommended books on breastfeeding, I mentioned how a librarian can help mothers locate the latest versions of helpful books.

10. Pharmacist. When I thought I had thrush, my pharmacist assisted me by preparing the proper solution of gentian violet (read the link on thrush for a warning about the safety of that remedy and for information on other treatment options). Any time I have needed to take an over-the-counter or prescription medication, my pharmacist has answered questions and offered additional printed materials on the safety of the drug for breastfeeding mothers.

While the breastfeeding mother and baby form their own special pair, having the support of a whole cast of characters can enrich and extend the nursing relationship.

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There’s no need for embarrassment, though. “La Leche” is pronounced “la LEH-cheh.” (Traditionally within La Leche League it may have been pronounced “la LAY-chay.”) It means “the milk” in Spanish. It was chosen as an informal code name for nursing by the founders in the 1950s when it wasn’t polite or politically correct to use the word “breastfeeding” in mixed company. While there’s no longer a need for a code word, there remains a need for La Leche League. 

There are two online tools that allow you to hear someone speaking the word “leche.” Try this tool (click on “leche”) or this one (click on the megaphone). No matter how you say it, I can guarantee the La Leche League leader will know what you mean and be happy that you called!

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Q: What should I do to prepare to get breastfeeding off to a good start? Do you have any advice for establishing a good nursing relationship once the baby arrives?

A: I’ll always be grateful to the mother who wrote in to a parenting magazine with the advice to commit to breastfeeding for eight weeks. Those early weeks are a learning period for both mother and baby. 

Believe that you both can do it, but at the same time, throw out the notion that breastfeeding should come naturally and easily. You will benefit from arming yourself with resources and doing your homework in preparation. Take a class, read a book, attend a support meeting like La Leche League.

Once the baby arrives, breastfeed as soon as possible after the birth. If you experience any problems, seek help immediately. Work with a lactation consultant, post-partum doula, a breastfeeding support group or a La Leche League leader. With help, common problems with latch-on, thrush, and engorgement will resolve shortly. Generally, within eight weeks your milk supply will regulate and you will gain the confidence that comes from experience.

If after eight weeks you are ready to wean, you can do so with the assurance that you committed to working it out, and congratulate yourself on giving your baby your milk for those crucial first weeks. If you’ve made it eight weeks though, my guess is you won’t want to wean. You’ll have developed that special nursing relationship and you’ll have started to reap the benefits of breastfeeding.

Experienced moms, do you have any advice to share on how to get breastfeeding off to a good start? What did you do in the early days to establish a good nursing relationship? Did you write a birth plan, hire a post-partum doula, or take a class after the birth? Please leave a comment! You might also enjoy reading the Mom to Mom question about Recommended Reading for Breastfeeding Mothers.

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