Welcome to the May Carnival of Breastfeeding! This month participants share stories related to breastfeeding (see entries at the end of this post). My story represents the end of the story — how it turns out when a mother practices extended breastfeeding.

When I had my first daughter, I fumbled my way around until I found my parenting style. It happened naturally. I couldn’t stand to hear my baby cry; what mother can? So I breastfed her on cue, wore her in a sling, and co-slept with her in my bed. Those things worked for me, my husband, and my baby. They continued to work for us, and we identified ourselves more and more with an “attachment parenting” philosophy.

Early on I heard whispers that my parenting style surprised and even worried others. The really bold people, the ones who thought they were doing me a favor by commenting on my parenting, harangued me with any number of myths: “You’re spoiling that baby by picking her up every time she cries! If you carry her everywhere she’ll never want to be put down! She needs to cry to exercise her lungs!” Sometimes I smiled and nodded and promptly ignored the advice. Sometimes I offered information and opinion. It depended on the person and the situation.

As my daughter got older and older, the admonitions became more urgent: “She won’t be able to separate from you. She’ll be clingy. You’re holding her back and making her dependent upon you.” Then came the disapproving looks and the stories that weren’t addressed to me but were meant for my ears. The message was clear: “Extended breastfeeding is wrong and you are harming your child.”

Well, let’s fast forward to the end of the story. My first “baby” is now a 7-year-old. She went to preschool after she turned three, and she didn’t shed a tear on the first day of school. I prepared her for the milestone and she separated from me easily. And guess what, she was “still” nursing at that time. I can assure you that her lungs work just fine. She is a happy, social, empathetic child, and I dare say that’s because of — not in spite of — attachment parenting.

As a new mother I was not armed with the information or ability to tell the naysayers that they were wrong. All I could do was listen to my instincts. I’d silently say, “Just you wait and see. The time will come when you realize that my way is not the wrong way. It might not be right for you, but it is right for me and my children.” That time has come, and look at that, I have a blog that lets me say a big fat “I told you so.” I say that “I told you so” not in the hope of reaching those who doubted me, but in the hope of reaching any other mothers who are struggling with naysayers. Listen to your instincts. Not only will you and your child benefit now from breastfeeding, but you will continue to reap the rewards long afterwards, and I won’t blame you one bit if you utter an “I told you so.”

Stay Tuned for Additional Carnival Entries:

Strocel.com: The Story of Hannah’s Weaning
Baby Carriers Down Under: Traveling to Kandy, Sri Lanka
Laura’s Blog: Weaning a Toddler
Stepping off the Spaceship: Life, Death and Nourishment
So Fawned: Sticking with It
Mommy News Blog: How Breastfeeding Changed My Life
All That Sazz: Flying Breast Milk
GrudgeMom: Breastfeeding Failures and Success
Massachusetts Friends of Midwives: Ben’s Story, The Best Breastfeeding Advice from the Least Likely Source
BreastfeedingMums: Breastfeeding Made Me the Mother I Am
Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog: “They Said the Latch Was Fine”
Chronicles of a Nursing Mom: Breastfeeding Is Not Easy
Breastfeeding Moms Unite: Can Early Public Breastfeeding Sightings Shape One’s Future Breastfeeding Practices?
The Towells: Breastfeeding after Breast Reduction
Zen_Mommy: Celebrating . . . My Chest!
Blacktating: Nursing in Public
Crystal Gold: A Found Memory

For inspiration and support, it can be helpful to read other women’s breastfeeding stories. For the May Carnival of Breastfeeding we ask you to share a story: your birth story as it relates to breastfeeding, your breastfeeding experience, overcoming a particular challenge, a cute or funny story about your nursling, or your weaning story.

Have a story you want to share in a carnival post on your blog? Email me your submission by May 18, 2009, for consideration for the carnival on May 25, 2009. As a reminder, here are the guidelines that will increase the chances a post will be selected for inclusion in the carnival:

– A well-written, grammatically correct post
– Thoughtful commentary directly on point for the carnival subject
– Overall quality of the rest of your blog and whether the general subject matter is something of interest to our readers (breastfeeding, parenting)

If your post is selected for inclusion, you will be asked on the day of the carnival to edit your post to link back to each of the other participants in the carnival.

Today I am privileged to bring you a conversation with former La Leche League leader Carrie Lauth. Carrie writes at her natural parenting blog Natural Moms Talk Radio and her business blog, CarrieLauth.com. Carrie shares her long-term experience as a volunteer breastfeeding counselor. Read more

It has been two months since Nicole was born. I have yet to capture a good picture of her wonderful smile, so this photo will have to do. She cracks me up!

Yesterday I took her to our family practitioner for her two month well baby visit. She’s doing great, nursing well, and meeting all of her developmental milestones (in spite of my inability to capture them on film!) She weighed 12 pounds 9 ounces, and measured 23 inches in length and 15.5 inches in head circumference. When the doctor told me that that put Nicole in the 25th, 10th and 10th percentiles on the CDC growth charts, I was a little surprised! My second daughter was petite like that, but does this look like a child who is on the low end of the charts?

Ignore my belly! Look! Cute buddha baby! Cute Imse Vimse organic cotton velour diaper cover! (Yup, I am still using cloth diapers. I got hooked on the Imse Vimse covers when someone generously passed this one on to me, and I just ordered two each of the organic cotton jungle print and organic cotton farm animal print! I absolutely love how soft and stretchy the fabric is, and how the edges have gussets but they don’t make marks on my baby’s legs).

For the record, I am not afraid to state my weight on the internet. My real weight! Be kind, internets. I weighed myself yesterday at the doctor’s office. I have lost 30 pounds of pregnancy weight and at 146.6 pounds with clothes on, I have about five more to go. No rush, I just like to note those things. And it does seem to show that for some women, breastfeeding does help with normal weight loss!

I wondered how my instincts could be so wrong about Nicole’s weight! She’s my beautiful buddha baby, and she’s already in 3-6 month clothes, so how could she be in the 10-25th percentiles? I did some quick math in my head. She has gained five pounds seven ounces from her original seven pounds two ounces. That’s 87 ounces in 9 weeks, or nearly 10 ounces per week. As a breastfeeding counselor I know that the average weight gain for a breastfed baby at this age is five to seven ounces per week. It’s no wonder with my oversupply that Nicole gained more than average. If she gained more than average, though, something was fishy about those percentiles. I looked up the CDC growth charts online, and discovered she’s actually in the 90th percentile for weight, 75th percentile for height, and 75th percentile for head circumference. Just for good measure (no pun intended), I checked the WHO growth charts too, because those are more accurate for breastfed babies. She is in the 80-85th percentiles for height and weight on those charts.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t care much about the numbers. I can look at my baby and see that she is thriving and wonderful, and as long as she stays on the same growth curve, it doesn’t matter whether she’s in the 10th percentile or the 95th. But I was a little concerned when I thought she’d dropped from the 50th to the 10th, especially when I had been marveling at those rolls of baby fat! It made me question my instincts, which is never a good thing as a mother. Bottom line, everything is fine! Nicole is a good-natured, happy — and healthy — baby.

Welcome to the June Carnival of Breastfeeding: Pumping It Up! Check out all the contributions on the topic of pumping and hand expression at the end of this post.

Here at Breastfeeding 1-2-3 I am pleased to share this guest post from Holly, whose son has benefited from her exclusive pumping over the last 10 months!

Breastfeeding, Pumping, and Cleft Palate, by Holly

The breastfeeding relationship I share with my son is nothing like I expected it would be.

He was born last August, healthy in every way but one–he had a cleft palate. Nine days after his birth, we ended up in the Emergency Room of the local Children’s Hospital because he was dehydrated. That’s how we learned that try as we might, DS couldn’t nurse. (It’s like drinking through a straw with a hole in it: you get some liquid, but it takes a lot of work. He was burning more calories than he was taking in.) I’ve been exclusively pumping and bottlefeeding him since that day.

The nurses in the ER–and in the NICU, where we spent the next three days–were wonderfully supportive of my desire to breastfeed. They introduced me to breast pumps and showed me what to do. When it turns out that my milk had gone back to colostrum because I wasn’t getting enough stimulation, they made sure I didn’t give up hope. The hospital’s lactation consultant was a great help too, answering our questions and helping my husband and I learn to use the special Haberman nipple (see an example of a complete Haberman Feeder with a bottle here) that helps him eat.

Those early days were hard. It was discouraging to sit at the pump for 15 minutes, and see only a few milliliters of milk in the bottle! Slowly but surely, my supply caught up to my son’s hunger and he has had almost exclusively breast milk since that hospital visit. I was afraid that it would be hard bond with my son, but it wasn’t. We’re not often skin to skin, but all that close snuggling can’t be beat! And my husband gets to share the bond, since he shares the feeding.

In many ways, I am very lucky. Not only are my husband and those nurses supportive, so are my family, friends and coworkers. Before my son was born, I bought a pump from a friend in preparation for going back to work, so I had what I needed at home to start pumping right away. The book The Milk Memos made me realize how lucky I am at work: I have a second pump in my office and can pump while I work (with the door closed and a “Dairy in Operation” sign blocking the window.) I am also grateful that this was my first child, so I’ve never known what it’s like to breastfeed. My situation is far from ideal, but it works for me since it’s the only one I know.

Don’t get me wrong: exclusive pumping is not fun. It’s impersonal and kind of uncomfortable. And oh, so time consuming! Ideally, I pump every 2-3 hours (except at night, when I only get up once) so it seems like every time I turn around, it’s time to pump again. And let’s face it–it’s a lot harder to discreetly attach yourself to a machine with a motor and plastic tubing than it is to discreetly nurse an infant. Our dining room table is full of the pump and all the things I keep nearby to make the best of the time I’m stuck in front of it: my computer, books, crosswords, Sudoku, the calendar where I’m recording the new things my son is doing.

Somewhere around the eighth month mark, I was DONE. My son developed a new habit of sitting just out of reach, bawling. I was sick to death of my life being ruled by the need to hook up to the milk machine. Luckily Angela pointed me to the pumping forums at KellyMom.com, and one of those moms told me about EPers, a Yahoo group just for women like me who exclusively pump. What a godsend! Those ladies helped me keep going when I needed it most.

From the start, my goal was to pump until his cleft palate repair surgery at nine months, then try to nurse him. His surgery was last month, and was a success. Unfortunately this is the most hectic time in my work life, and adding nursing to all the other demands on my time isn’t working out well. Despite early good intentions, I did not keep up with putting him to the breast for comfort all these months, so we’d have a lot of learning to do. Instead, I may forgo the nursing and keep pumping until he’s a year old. I know better than to make such a big decision when I’m stressed out, so I’ll decide for sure when this work crunch is over.

Regardless of what happens, I will always be proud that I have been able to give him so much mama’s milk. Breastfeeding has always seemed like the healthiest and most natural choice to me, so even though pumping is a drag, I never really considered not doing it. The fact that it’s free and locally grown (so to speak) are icing on the cake! I will be glad to put this demand on my life behind me, but will never regret choosing to pump to feed my son.

More Carnival Entries on Pumping and Hand Expression

Please enjoy these contributions to the carnival as they come in:

Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog: Tips for Introducing a Bottle
Mama Knows Breast: Enter to Win a Medela Freestyle Pump (deadline July 1, 2008)
BreastfeedingMums: Electrify Me
Adventures of a Breastfeeding Mother: Pumping Tips
Raising Baby Bee: Pumping at Work
The Attached Mother: Donating Milk
Hobo Mama: Thrills and Chills of Person-to-Person Milk Donation
Mike and Toni’s: Hands-Free Pumping Invention

Some women end up with a bountiful stash of frozen breast milk — be it from oversupply, a baby in the NICU, or an infant who turns out to be allergic to something in the milk pumped so far. Some of those women are moved to donate the excess milk to a non-profit milk bank. In the past few days, I have heard two women express (no pun intended) frustration at the restrictions posted on women who wish to qualify as breast milk donors. One, whose oversupply and dairy-free diet could certainly have benefited a milk bank, was turned away because she had lived in Great Britain in the ’80s.

Another wrote to tell me her story, and to explain why she supports informal breast milk sharing or donation. Her daughter was born premature at 30 weeks gestation. Fortunately the baby is doing well now and she should be released from the NICU in another two weeks. Here is what the mother had to say about what she hopes to do with her stash of expressed breast milk:

Since our baby has been in the NICU for the last 7 weeks, I have about 2,000 oz of breast milk frozen. We have filled our space allotment in the hospital’s milk bank, filled our freezer at home, and have almost filled my mom’s freezer. There’s no possible way [my daughter] will ever catch up with what I have stored, and anyway, I prefer to breastfeed [when she is ready to transition to the breast]. (We didn’t use bottles much at all with our first.)

I first looked at donating to a milk bank, but can’t because one of the requirements is that you haven’t received a blood transfusion within the past 12 months, so that ruled out that option. (I had practically all of the blood in my body replaced during/after an emergency C-section . . .) Another mother in the NICU was literally pouring her milk down the drain, because she had also filled her space in the hospital’s freezer and her home freezer. I just couldn’t bring myself to do that, because I knew there were people that would really appreciate it. I just didn’t know where to find them.

When I was craving ice cream a few nights ago (which I couldn’t buy because we don’t have room in the freezer for it), I decided I had to take some actions to find a home for it. In my search, I saw that there are quite a few people passionately against milk sharing. Not sure why when obviously there are many healthy people with abundant supplies and many people who can’t afford to purchase milk from a milk bank. Most people do home pasteurization in some form anyway. Obviously people should be aware of the risks of taking a stranger’s milk . . .

Anyway, I think I’ve found someone who wants me to ship all my milk to her, but that milkshare Yahoo group is really active, and I’m pretty sure if this lady I’ve been in communication with changes her mind, that I wouldn’t have any trouble finding a home for it. I do think that milk sharing deserves more attention though, because a lot of women who give birth are also given a blood transfusion, and current milk banking practices eliminate all of those women from donating. (My sister researched the reason for this, and it’s because there was one case of West Nile virus being transmitted through donated milk. If a woman waits through the incubation period to donate her milk, then she can rule out that threat.) And the state of medical insurance what it is, most families can’t afford to buy milk from a bank.

Well, I’ve been long winded here. I just know I’m not the only NICU parent with an excess of milk, so there are others who don’t know what to do with their milk.

I am pleased and grateful that this woman wrote to share her opinion on informal breast milk donation. What’s your opinion? Would you donate your milk informally? Would you take advantage of casual milk sharing if you and your baby had the need? How do you feel about any potential risk of disease transmission or other problems with milk not screened by a milk bank? Are independent testing and pasteurization methods adequate? Leave a comment!

Welcome to the April Carnival of Breastfeeding, “Thrush and Mastitis and Blebs, oh my!” This month several contributors share their experiences with different breastfeeding challenges and offer links and resources for overcoming those challenges. First I will talk about using gentian violet or grapefruit seed extract as alternative remedies for thrush, but make sure to read on for links to the other contributions at the end!

Oversupply

When my first daughter was born, I struggled with oversupply. In theory oversupply sounds great because it eliminates any worry about having enough milk for the baby. In reality, it can cause a lot of problems including painful engorgement, an overactive letdown (which can cause the baby to choke, sputter, and pop off the breast), a foremilk-hindmilk imbalance (leading to green and gassy stools), plugged ducts, and mastitis.

I wish I had known more about correcting oversupply in the first place. In the end it took about 12 weeks for my supply to regulate.

Plugged Ducts

Off and on over that first year, I experienced several plugged ducts:

~ Kellymom on Plugged Ducts and Mastitis
~ NEW BEGINNINGS article on Plugged Ducts

I became adept at hand-expressing to remove the little white milk plug that was blocking the milk duct. One time, though, I found that I had damaged the nipple skin at the site of the plug, and the sore simply would not heal. I tried Lansinoh and I tried expressing breast milk on the nipple and letting it air dry. The white, cracked sore did not go away.

Thrush

Eventually I spoke to a La Leche League leader, who suggested I consult my doctor to see whether it could be thrush. I wasn’t in terrible pain and my baby didn’t have white patches in her mouth, but thrush can exist without such symptoms or signs. My gynecologist first prescribed Nystatin for me and my baby, and when that didn’t work, we moved on to Diflucan. (I also sanitized all of my clothing and any toys or other items that had been in my baby’s mouth). When Diflucan didn’t work either, I began to suspect I didn’t have thrush (that’s what I think in retrospect), or I had a stubborn case.

Gentian Violet and Grapefruit Seed Extract

I started looking for alternative remedies for thrush, and happened upon information about using Gentian Violet:

~ Using Gentian Violet - Dr. Jack Newman
~ Thrush Remedies including Gentian Violet (see also the warning on its use) — AskDrSears.com

Gentian violet is purple and does indeed stain your nipples, baby’s mouth, and clothing. I bought a few pink/purple outfits and put my baby in them for the duration of our treatment! Whether or not I actually had thrush, this is the product that finally helped my nipple heal.

Later on I learned about grapefruit seed extract and its antimicrobial properties. I tried Nutribiotic - GSE Liquid Concentrate anytime I had an open sore, or my baby developed a yeasty diaper rash. I also take it internally when I’m battling a bout of plugged ducts and/or mastitis. It’s also an effective cleaner! Just make sure you dilute it. Plain sterile water works for topical applications, and a little orange juice (or grapefruit juice!) works well to mask the bitter taste when you take it internally. A small bottle of GSE seems expensive ($10.50 or so on-line or at a natural foods store) but a little goes a long way and I still have my original bottle four years later.

~ Grapefruit Seed Extract for Treatment of Thrush - AskLenore.com
~ Identifying and Treating Thrush (with GSE) - Dr. Jay Gordon

It’s convenient that these remedies do not require a prescription, but as always, consult your physician, your child’s physician, and/or a pharmacist before using any medication.

Other Participants in the Carnival

~ Tongue Tie - Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog
~ Supplementing - Mama’s Magic
~ Oversupply, Blebs, Plugged Ducts, and Mastits - Half Pint Pixie
~ Plugged Ducts and Mastitis - Speech Act
~ Low Milk Supply and the Mini-Pill - Tales of Life with a Girl on the Go
~ Getting Rid of Thrush - Nurturing Notes
~ Sore Nipples, Engorgement, and Medications - BreastfeedingMums
~ Surviving Mastitis - Blessed Nest Perch
~ Supplementing during the First Week - Hobo Mama

~ Janya, a regular commenter here at Breastfeeding 1-2-3, shared her breastfeeding article OUCH! When Breastfeeding Hurts: The Lacto Files over at the new online women’s magazine Betty Confidential. Her description of thrush sounds just like what I hear from so many moms!

~ Whether or not to vaccinate is a hot debate among breastfeeding mothers. If the question is on your mind, check out this informative book review from The Leery Polyp of The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child by Dr. Robert Sears.

~ Add the new Breastfeeding Mums Forum to our list of breastfeeding bulletin boards and forums.

~ If you have a family history of allergy-induced asthma, you will be glad to read this report from About.com: Breastfeeding on the protective benefits of breastfeeding.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

Do you support breastfeeding in public? What does “public” include? The mall, the park, a restaurant? What about in church (or any house of worship)? That last category seems to be really problematic. Some churchgoers feel very strongly opposed to babies breastfeeding in church. Apparently babies belong in the nursery or the “cry room” (what an awful name). Personally, I think people should focus on the sermon and not on the nursing mother and baby. I can’t imagine nursing is so distracting (certainly not any more so than a crying baby being rushed out of the service). Furthermore, it can be terribly devastating to a breastfeeding mother to be approached by a fellow parishioner or even part of the clergy about this issue. Church is supposed to be a supportive environment. Whether or not a particular church member supports breastfeeding in public, that member should support the breastfeeding mother and baby as part of the community. If breastfeeding allows the mother and child to attend services, I would think that activity would be condoned. I know not everyone shares my opinion (feel free to leave your own opinion in the comments).

Sarah wrote to share her story about breastfeeding in church:

I am 21 years old! I have two girls and love them both. I had my first daughter when I was a senior in high school. Her name is Brooke and she is 2 1/2 years old. She will turn 3 the day after Christmas. I just had my second baby 4 weeks ago. My little baby’s name is Rylie. On Sunday my husband and I went to church with both kids for the first time since the new baby had come. Rylie start to cry so I took her to the bathroom and changed her diaper. She was still crying so I knew that I would have to feed her. I went ahead and went back to where my family and I were sitting. I started to get ready for breastfeeding Rylie for the first time in public. The older lady who was sitting right behind me put her hand on my shoulder and told me that there is a baby room where I can feed my baby. I turned around and in a nice way I told her that I was going to do it right here. She got up and took her grandchild to another spot in church. After the mass was over we were walking out and this lady came up to me and said, “I have been coming here for a long long time and if you are going to breastfeed you should go and do that in the baby/crying room.” I told her as mother I have the right to feed wherever I am and that if she does not want to see me feed my baby then she does not need to sit near me.

Sarah, you know you have my support. I am glad you were able to stay calm and respond respectfully but firmly.

What do you all think?

Photo Credit: Janet Burgess

Today’s guest post comes from Kate at Babylune. She tells the beautiful story of how she has found creative and loving ways to identify and meet her daughter’s needs throughout the weaning process.

Now I Just Cuddle on Demand

Weaning. I’ve wanted to do it for almost a year, but I am just getting around to it now. My daughter is almost 2 years-old.

Weaning, many women will tell you, is completely unnecessary. Children, they maintain, stop when they want to. Which, in my experience of watching children left completely to their own devices, is when they are 4 or 5 years-old. Others believe that if there is milk in the breast, it is there for the woman’s child, or children, to drink. I understand and respect those beliefs.

That said, I work. My daughter really doesn’t mind being away from me for between 5 and 8 hours a day. She could always ensure that my milk supply stayed in production by waking up during the night to nurse. And, not because she was hungry. She can open the fridge, take out her favorite drinkable yogurt, open it and drink it all by herself.

When my older son was a little over a year old, it took three nights of offering him water during night wakings before he started sleeping through. After three nights of trying the same thing with my daughter a year ago, I gave up and just offered her the breast. Recently, I tried it again and it took about three weeks to get her sleeping from 10PM to 6:00AM without a break.

We’re now down to one very short breastfeeding session immediately before bed for the night. Getting here has not been easy.

I understood that I would need to set a feeding schedule in order to eliminate one nursing session at a time. This meant, paying attention to other clues when my daughter asked to nurse. My older son refused to eat anything except a single dish of mashed potatoes with cheese and spinach at lunch until he was 18 months-old. Continuing to nurse him until just past his second birthday was essential to prevent him from starving.

My daughter, again, was different. Her nursing seemed to have nothing to do with the need for nourishment. I learned that when she asked to nurse, she wanted quiet time; she wanted my undivided attention, she wanted to go to sleep; or just a reflective break from figuring out the world. Breastfeeding does offer safety, calm, and love, but it is not the only way to give a child what he or she needs, it’s just the easiest way.

I’ve since discovered an alternative. I call it cuddling on demand. The best part is that I can ask for it as often as I give it. I like this mutually rewarding phase of family life. We never have to wean ourselves off hugs.