Many children nurse well into toddlerhood. If a toddler suddenly stops nursing altogether, there are two possible causes: (1) a toddler nursing strike triggered by an illness, teething, or emotional event, or (2) self-weaning. How can you tell the difference, and what can be done to end a toddler nursing strike? Read more

So far in this three-part series I have offered ten tips for helping your baby enjoy solid food. In this last installment, I make some suggestions for what to do when your baby resists eating solids.

Five More Tips for Helping Your Baby with Solid Food Feedings

11. Don’t starve the baby of breast milk in the hope of encouraging solid food intake. I hope that sentence speaks for itself, but in case not, let me explain what I mean. Don’t give in to the unhelpful suggestion or thought that you are feeding the baby too much breast milk and that is the reason the baby shows little interest in solids. People who think that are misguided on a few levels: (1) it’s nearly impossible to feed a baby too much breast milk (you cannot force a baby to nurse when the baby is not interested, and babies self-regulate at the breast whereas milk from a bottle flows freely and it is harder for a bottle-fed baby to control the amount consumed), (2) depriving the baby of milk does not encourage solids but does encourage a cranky, potentially malnourished baby, and (3) there is no rush to get the baby to eat much solid food because breast milk provides the bulk of nutrition through the first year (and in fact some babies thrive on breast milk alone — see the comments section for more discussion on that assertion).

A baby who is resisting solid foods simply might not be ready for any number of reasons. Maybe the gag reflex has not completely gone away. Perhaps your baby is teething or ill and needs some time off from or a delay in starting solids. It’s even possible that your baby knows what is best. I have heard anecdotes about babies who resisted solid food or certain foods in particular and those babies turned out to have one or more food allergies. If you suspect a food allergy, read “A” Is for Allergy Prevention and Reduction.

12. Offer a choice. As I’ve said before, I believe most food issues are about control. If you limit food choices and try to force your baby to eat a particular food, that can backfire to the point that your child severely limits the foods he or she will eat. Give your baby the control by offering a choice at any given meal. “Squash or applesauce?” “Pears or kiwi or both?” Even a six-month-old can indicate a preference for food through facial expressions, sounds, or grabbing for a particular food. The idea is not to prepare two separate meals or to waste food, but to show the baby what’s on offer and to provide the food the baby will actually eat!

Of course, the choice is not “veggies or fast food chicken nuggets.” All of the options you offer should be nutritious. This will become more and more important as the baby becomes older. At my house, a child can choose whether to eat any or all of the fruit, vegetable, grain, and/or meat offered at that particular meal. If the child chooses not to eat any of the items on offer (this has happened two or three times with my four-year-old), then she gets to wait until I finish my meal before I will prepare one other healthful option (usually something unexciting like whole grain cereal and milk). I look at my child’s nutrition over the course of a week and do not worry about any isolated meal.

13. Ease up if it is not going well. Hindsight will often reveal why a baby was refusing a particular food or solids in general. Let your baby rely on the nutrition from breast milk as you slow down the process. Your baby will sense if you become tense or anxious about food. Don’t let your anxiety become contagious! The goal is for your baby to enjoy solid food, not any particular amount of food or any one certain food. Success breeds success, and a baby who has a good experience at meal time will look forward to the next meal. A child who refuses vegetables at one meal just might eat them at the next, and in the end the child quite possibly will eat better if you do not engage in a battle of wills over a certain food. It all comes back to the issue of control.

14. Invite over a peer. If your older baby still does not show much interest in solids or does not eat many different types of food, it can be very helpful to invite over a little friend you know is a good eater! Go on a picnic or have a play date. Talk to the other parent in advance about serving a food the other child will readily eat. When your child sees the other child eating that food, your child might very well want some too!

15. Read up on the subject. If you missed parts one and two of this series, see 5 Tips for Helping Your Baby Enjoy Solid Food and More Tips for Your Baby and Solid Food. If your baby is just starting solid food, check out Starting Your Baby on Solid Foods: When, What and How. For more detailed reading, you might enjoy the following books:

Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron
Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter
My Child Won’t Eat!: How to Prevent and Solve the Problem by Carlos González

What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with my tips? Have you read any of the books I mentioned? Do you have any other books you recommend?

The list of tips for helping your baby enjoy solid food continues today with five more ideas. Stay tuned for the last five tomorrow when I will share some thoughts for what to do when solid food feeding is not going as well as you might hope! Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments section — what have you done and do you agree or disagree with this set of tips so far?

Five More Tips for Helping Your Baby Enjoy Solid Food

6. Set a good example with what you eat. One of the signs of readiness for solid food is that your baby shows interest in what you are eating. The baby’s urge to lunge for your food works in a positive way! At meal time, sit next to your baby or have your baby sit in your lap, and be prepared to share your food (modified as appropriate and safe for the baby). If you are having red beans and rice, squish some beans and let your baby grab them and work on self-feeding, or load a mashed bean onto a baby spoon and help your baby guide the spoon.

Of course, this interest in your food means that if you’re eating a chocolate chip cookie, your baby will want that cookie too. So save the treats for when your baby is napping or has gone to bed.

7. Consider the texture of the food. You are the expert on your baby! Pay close attention and experiment to see whether your child prefers sweet potatoes diluted with a little breast milk, mashed up plain, or cut into tiny bits. At the same time, consider whether your child likes to use a spoon or prefers to pick up the mash or cubes of food with his or her hands. Mix up the routine and have fun with it!

8. Let your baby be in the driver’s seat. Babies have a way of making their preferences and desires quite clear. Let your baby tell you whether meal time is over or it’s time for seconds. Don’t force the issue if your baby simply isn’t interested in solids one day. Teething, an upset tummy, a belly full of milk (not a bad thing!) — all those can suppress your baby’s interest in food at any given meal.

If your baby is clamoring for more food though, then it’s okay to let your baby take the lead, within reason. For example, an entire banana probably isn’t a good idea or you risk constipation. You also want to keep in mind that breast milk is still the baby’s primary source of nutrition and if your baby seems particularly hungry, it could be a growth spurt. Offer more nursing sessions throughout the day, and keep an eye on your milk supply so that the amount of solid foods you are offering does not interfere with your milk supply.

9. Remember that these first feedings are more for learning and less for nutrition. As I mentioned in tip #8, you do not need to worry about getting a certain amount of food into the baby at any given meal. While you want the food you offer to be nutritious, your baby’s nutrition continues to come from your milk. That’s one of the great things about breastfeeding in that for the first year or so, you have the security of knowing your baby is getting a well-balanced meal at your breast! (The nutritional benefits of breastfeeding also continue well beyond the first year. Toddler milk supplies protein, fat, vitamins and antibodies, some in even greater quantities during the second year and beyond!)

10. Eat a wide variety of foods while you are breastfeeding. Believe it or not, the foods you eat flavor the breast milk and help your baby learn to appreciate a wide variety of foods. There is no reason for you to limit yourself to a bland diet while you are breastfeeding. It’s perfectly fine — and beneficial — for you to enjoy spicy and flavorful foods!

If you missed tips 1-5, see 5 Tips to Help Your Baby Enjoy Solid Food.

You have determined that your baby is ready for solids (see Starting Your Baby on Solid Foods: When, What and How). You are determined to make it a good experience for both of you! Here are some tips to get the adventure off to a good start. Over the next couple of days I will post more tips in this series. While I don’t claim to be an expert, I apparently have a lot to say on the subject!

1. Tell your baby the name of each food you are offering. This simple step goes a long way to establishing a healthy relationship with food. Your baby deserves to know what each food is. You might not think a six-month-old baby could understand what you mean when you say “peas,” but say it often enough and the baby will start to associate that delicious green food with the word “peas” and might even get excited with anticipation when you say it! As silly as it might sound to your ears, it’s helpful to say at various points throughout the meal, “These are peas.” When your baby shows approval, “Oh, you like peas!” And when your baby opens wide for more, you affirm, “Peas are yummy.” Telling your baby what each food is shows respect and builds trust. Speaking positively about a food — “Peas are yummy” — becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It teaches the child, “My parent just told me this is a good food, and I can believe it!” It can be helpful to use the term “yummy” for objects (food) your child is allowed to put in his or her mouth, and “yucky” for objects (inedible items) your baby is not allowed to put in his or her mouth. My 10-month-old daughter knows to spit out anything I declare “yucky.”

2. Serve whole foods. Boxed baby cereals and jarred baby foods are conveniences, not necessities. Factor in the additional cost and the potential reduction in flavor and nutrients, and such foods are not really all that “convenient.” It does not get much easier than mashing a banana or an avocado. Serve your family foods that can be easily modified for the baby, and you’ve made feeding your baby simple and fun. Having oatmeal for breakfast? Baby can have that too! How about baked sweet potatoes as a side at dinner for your family? Just mash up the potato or break it into bits for the baby to pick up and eat.

3. Allow your baby to self-feed. Babies love to learn how to pick up tiny steamed broccoli “trees” they can feed to themselves! When babies feed themselves, they control how much or how little they eat. Even when babies do not yet have much hand control, you can pre-load a spoon for them and help them guide the spoon to their mouths. Remember, it’s a learning opportunity and not something that needs to be forced by you. These early solid food feedings are far more for experimentation and socialization than for nutrition.

4. Allow your child to make a gigantic mess. I can’t say it any more plainly. Babies need to be able to make a mess at the table. I believe that the root of many food issues is control. If you start trying to control the mess, that can lead to the baby trying to control what he or she will consume. Invest in a big bib (try my free instructions for big bibs with extra long ties or crew neck over-the-head pullover bibs), or strip the baby down naked in a warm room. Babies can get a lot of joy out of playing with their food — and that’s exactly what you want. Yes, playing with food, because ultimately the goal is for your child to enjoy meal times. The first experiences should be fun and relaxed, not anxious and controlled. Food washes off skin and out of clothing, and any time that you spend cleaning your baby, the table, and the floor (and the walls!) will be made up for later when your child eats a nice variety of foods. The time for teaching table manners comes when your child is no longer a baby.

5. Make meals a social event. Babies enjoy being with the rest of the family at the table. They learn from watching you eat, and they benefit from the social interaction. When you share a meal with your baby you have the opportunity to model the behavior you want to see from your child. Take turns with the other adults at the table when it comes to helping the baby eat (these feedings that are not at the breast are perfect for dads to get in on feeding the baby!) Soon enough your baby will become quite good at self-feeding and you will all get to enjoy your meal at the same time!

What are your tips for helping a baby to enjoy solid food? Do you agree or disagree with the tips I have shared so far?

The classic parenting book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish is as relevant and helpful today as it was when it first came out 30 years ago. The descriptions, examples and cartoons offer straightforward information that parents can put into practice right away. Readers can invest time in the practice exercises or simply skim the summaries for an overview or a brief refresher.

Throughout the chapters on “Helping Children Deal with Their Feelings,” “Engaging Cooperation,” and “Alternatives to Punishment” I found myself dog-earring pages and scribbling notes in the margins:

Prevention not punishment.

Punishment versus natural consequences.

Give child a way to make amends.

Teach them the problem-solving skill.

This book has helped me transition from being the mother of a breastfed toddler whose two’s weren’t all that terrible, to the mother of a four-year-old and a seven-year-old who challenge my parenting skills daily. When I have the presence of mind to employ one of the techniques suggested in the book, I notice how it diffuses conflict rather than escalating it. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen equips parents with helpful communication skills, and it will remain one of my favorite attachment parenting references.

My baby is sick. Possibly sick from the vaccine intended to protect her from illness. And I am sick at heart. You see, I took her in for her 9-month well baby visit three days ago. At that time, she received two vaccinations: DTaP and Rotavirus. Those of you really savvy about vaccinations might see the problem already. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the rotavirus vaccine is not recommended after the baby reaches the age of 32 weeks (about 8 months).

My baby was overdue for her third and final dose of RotaTeq. I had put it off because we were on the waiting list for the Hib vaccine, which is in short supply and must be rationed out by pediatricians. In hindsight I realize I should have proceeded on schedule with my daughter’s other vaccinations, and I should have re-read the information about each vaccine, rather than relying on my previous decision to approve that vaccination. My initial reasoning was that I have had rotavirus before, and I had never been so sick in my life! Read more

Welcome to the biggest Carnival of Breastfeeding to date! Many mothers submitted posts to share their “how to” knowledge, from how to wean from a nipple shield to how to get a spouse to help with breastfeeding. After I discuss how to teach your baby nursing manners, take a look at the links to the other participants. You might also wish to enter to win a free baby carrier, sling, or wrap of your choice (contest ends Friday, April 24, 2009).

If you breastfeed for the recommended year or more, you might experience some occasional unwanted behavior from your nursling. I share some tips on how to teach your little angel some nursing manners! Read more

This contest has ended. Thanks for your interest!

You choose the prize in this fabulous baby carrier giveaway from Baby Carriers Direct! You have up to three contest entries to win your choice of baby carrier, sling or wrap under $100! The contest is open to those with a home mailing address in the United States or Canada.

Have a look around Baby Carriers Direct. You can browse by brand, type, color, weight capacity or price (handy for staying under that $100 limit!) To enter the giveaway, leave a comment here saying which baby carrier you want to win! For a second entry, mention the contest on your blog and come back here to leave a second comment with the link to your post. For a third entry (or second if you do not have a blog), tweet with a link to the contest on Twitter @Breastfeed123 and come back here to leave a third comment. After that, you might wish to check out this helpful article from Baby Carriers Direct entitled Breastfeed While Babywearing.

The contest ends at the end of the day Friday, April 24, 2009 PCT. I’ll pick the winner at random on Saturday, April 25. The winner will be contacted by email and with a post here at Breastfeeding 1-2-3, and will have until Tuesday, April 28 to reply with a valid mailing address in the United States or Canada. Good luck!

What’s the free postpartum contraceptive option for women? It’s called the Lactational Amenorrhea Method (LAM). I have written about the pros and cons of LAM before, so this time I want to highlight a comprehensive article on LAM (PDF) offered for free by USAID Global Health eLearning Center and the ACCESS Family Planning Initiative.

The informative four-page brief is designed to help health care professionals offer LAM guidance in their maternal, child, and family health care practices, but it would be helpful for any woman who wishes to practice LAM. I like how the article uses LAM as a springboard to discuss exclusive breastfeeding, family planning, child spacing, a return to fertility, and transitioning to other appropriate contraceptive options.

Looking for fun and easy fundraising ideas for a non-profit organization? These ideas move beyond the tedious sales of wrapping paper, cookies, and pies, but stop short of extensive grant writing. They have been tested and approved by my local schools and nonprofit breastfeeding support groups and just might work for your organization too!

In these tough economic times, nonprofits must get creative in raising funds. This list of ideas offers a variety of options for non-profits to employ based on their particular resources: people, time, community support, computer access, and storage space. Read more