As the mom of three children, I need to be efficient with my time and energy. Over the long holiday weekend, my husband and I unpacked and organized some of our belongings. Generally I like to stay away from plastic tubs for organizing things, but the laundry baskets and plastic bags weren’t cutting it to store all of my three daughters’ hand-me-down clothes. It’s hard for each girl to let go of her things as she outgrows them, and I would get everything organized only to find that sneaky hands had stolen into the baskets and plucked out old favorites, leaving a pile of other clothes on the floor. I finally gave in, and here is the result:

My 11.5-month-old now wears size 12-18 months, so I set aside all of the smaller clothes to go to my nephew (he arrives in October) or the thrift store. The rest I organized in tubs for each size: 12-18 months, 2T/24 months, 3T, 4T, and 5/6. There’s an extra tub for cloth diapers not in use, and out-of-season ski clothing. Each tub is also further organized by category: pants, dresses, shirts, jackets etc.

What’s your best tip for getting — and staying — organized?

Today was a big day for my little 11.5-month-old nursling. She couldn’t be torn away from the excitement of the day for a silly thing like napping, so her usual three naps were reduced to two. That meant by dinner time she was nearly ready for bed. We celebrated the 4th of July holiday with a backyard barbecue of shrimp and salmon, fresh pineapple slices, and grilled vegetables. As a special treat for dessert we made an improvised strawberry smoothie from pureed and whole frozen strawberries from our u-pick adventure earlier in the year, along with more pineapple and some fresh-squeezed orange juice and lemon juice. My nursling slurped up this tangy treat from a spoon and held out her spoon for more!

By the time we headed to our balcony to watch fireworks in the distance, she was ready to give in to sleep. She rested her head on my shoulder (one of best feelings in the world) and eventually drifted off to sleep as the fireworks boomed around us. I carried her into the bedroom and set her down on the bed, and she didn’t even stir.

That is such a different experience from my first nursling who would not go to sleep without nursing. I can remember being very frustrated by that at times, especially when I would try to break the latch and my baby would startle awake and I would have to start the process all over again. However, I must confess that now I sometimes miss those bedtime cuddly nursing sessions when my nursling happens to fall asleep without one. While it’s great that she can drift off peacefully without nursing, I enjoy nursing her and I feel peaceful afterward (even as I’m giddily sneaking away from a sleeping baby to type on the computer!) I needn’t have worried tonight however. She has already woken twice in the hour since I put her to bed. She doesn’t like to sleep when her older sisters are still awake, and she’s not too sure about the noise of the fireworks. So, I’ve nursed her back to sleep twice, and I’m about ready for sleep myself!

If you knew you might only be able to nurse for a few months before you might have to be separated from your baby for an extended period of time, would it be worth it to breastfeed for those few months or should you formula-feed in an attempt to spare your baby from an additional pain of separation? That’s the issue raised by a military mother on the article U.S. Military Rules for Breastfeeding Mothers. Jami wrote:

Why is it that everyone but the Air Force is at LEAST 6 months deferment - The above article and all the profiles I have seen state that the deferment for deployment is 4 months - but we aren’t even eligible to PT for 6 months… umm… am I missing something? I have one daughter and am pregnant with my second…I did not breast feed with my daughter because of the simple fact of deployments… My now ARMY doctor is pressuring me to breast feed with my second one… but I argue the fact WHY? So I can up and deploy in 4 months and leave my baby stranded and alone wondering where his/her real food is? It would be heartbreaking to watch my baby be torn from my breast a short 4 months later… The Military is NOT family oriented… if they wont allow us women to adequately take care of our children, then I do not believe they should have allowed us to sign the contract in the first place. Not to mention a large percentage of the Miltary are Men - who like you other bloggers have stated… do not understand OR want to comprehend the aspects of breastfeeding. I would love to raise awarness on this issue - but where would you even start? The policy needs to be changed… period. Thanks for listening.

Hi Jami,

Here are a few thoughts for you and hopefully others will chime in as well. I can hear your frustration and I totally agree that the policy needs to be changed.

I do want to commend that army doctor for encouraging you to breastfeed. Every little bit of breast milk — a day, a month, or four months — is good for your baby and supplies lasting health benefits. It would be awful to have to leave a breastfed baby (any baby!) at four months, no doubt about it. There are ways it can be done to minimize the impact on your baby. Let’s think through some of the options.

- You might not be deployed.
- You will already be bottle-feeding for work, and you could build up a freezer stash that could last a considerable amount of time should you be deployed. Any necessary transition to formula could be done little by little.
- Bonding at the breast is wonderful. You could nurse for a couple of months and then switch to exclusive pumping if you are worried about making a sudden transition should you be deployed. It’s not ideal (as in, not easy to pump exclusively, or to switch to bottle-feeding alone) but it gives you that time and that option to continue.
- Your doctor sounds quite favorable to breastfeeding. Perhaps when the time comes she or he would be willing to write a note that says you need additional deferment.

I encourage you to talk to a local La Leche League leader for free to think through your feelings and your options. It’s not a good position to be put in, and the decisions are difficult ones. Congratulations on expecting your second baby!

Do any other readers have thoughts for what to do when faced with a potential separation?

Your child has been sound asleep for an hour or so but suddenly starts screaming and crying. You try everything you can think of to soothe him, going down your list: needs to nurse, hot, cold, feverish, wet, in pain. Nothing you do seems to help, and what’s worse, your child does not even seem to know you are there, trying to help.

That’s what happened to me last night when my 11-month-old had her first ever night terror. Night terrors are episodes of intense crying and fear in children who are sleeping and are difficult to arouse. I will leave it to the experts to explain more about night terrors:

Ask Dr. Sears: Night Terrors
WebMD: Night Terrors

Thank goodness I had heard about night terrors from friends who had experienced them with their children. Otherwise I would have taken the half an hour of inconsolable crying as a sign that I needed to take my daughter to the emergency room! Fortunately, my daughter eventually allowed me to nurse her back to sleep. She slept well after that and appeared perfectly fine in the morning. I, however, was a wreck! One of the things I love most about breastfeeding is that it “fixes” almost anything — hungry, thirsty, over-tired, cranky, lonely, ill. When my daughter was crying inconsolably and she arched her back away from me when I attempted to nurse her, I felt a helplessness I have never felt before as a parent.

Has a child of yours ever experienced night terrors? How often did they happen? Were you eventually able to prevent them? Did your child outgrow them? How did you handle them when they were occurring?

Today my husband took my older girls to a major league baseball game while I stayed home with my 11-month-old. The minute her sisters (i.e., the entertainment) left she started fussing! Who wants to stay home with boring old mom anyway?! Now I say this in the most loving way possible: this child is like a dog, if only in the sense that she goes to the door, bangs on it with her hands and yells until I say we’re going out! She wants to be where the action is, there’s no mistaking that.

So we headed out the door for a nice long walk. I put her in the Baby Jogger, and of course then she was all smiles! Part way through the walk she fell asleep and I stopped to read a book on a park bench underneath a pepper tree. When my daughter woke up flushed from sleep and the heat, I pulled her into my lap and she nursed contentedly until she popped off and beamed another big smile at me! We set out again, and she stayed happily in the stroller for another fifteen minutes or so. Then it was back to my arms for the rest of the way home. We must have looked quite the sight — me holding the baby in one arm and pulling the Jogger with the other (it was too hot for the sling I’d brought) because a kind woman pulled her car over to ask if I wanted a ride. I was quite happy and near home anyway, so I politely declined. The baby and I continued, with one more pit stop to play on the grass in the shade of the trees. All in all we were out for over an hour and a half. I had brought water for me, my cell phone and keys, a book, and some diapers, but that was enough to see us through for a grand adventure!

May I take a moment to ask the universe to slow my life down from “Warp Speed” to just “Really Really Fast”? My 11-month-old daughter is keeping me very busy these days. I still maintain that having a baby who can walk is easier than having a baby who cannot. For me, it’s not quite as hands-on and is less physically intense. I do need to protect her from eating things she shouldn’t, and from climbing up or down the stairs, but in general she entertains herself quite well now that she can walk (and go wherever her sisters go)! I do recognize that this experience is quite different than the one I had with my first daughter, who was glued to my side until she was about 3.5 years of age (there are advantages to that by the way, and I found that by recognizing and accepting her need to be near me until that time, she gained the confidence to become quite independent later. She’s seven now!)

One down side of my 11-month-old’s independence? The ability to cause trouble. Can you believe that this little cherub:

is the one who did this:

Yes, that’s blue crayon scribbled on two places on my white bedroom wall and door (that happens when you have two older children who like to color and a mobile 11-month-old who is confined in your bedroom but manages to find the only crayon while you put away clothes in your closet). Thank goodness for the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. I don’t recommend the product for older paint because it does take some paint off or dull the sheen, but for newer paint or for the situation where it’s better to clean off the crayon or pen or permanent marker than to leave it there, the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser works wonders! Just make sure to test it in a remote corner if you are concerned about wearing away the paint. And then enjoy your creative toddler!

This latest installment in the Mom-to-Mom question and answer series deals with advice for families planning a car trip with a baby. After reading The Value of Traveling with Your Baby, reader Christina asked the following question:

I am actually taking my first trip with my 4 month old this weekend to a wedding. It will be a 7 hour car drive - any advice for the car trip? And on a tangent - any advice for breastfeeding in a dress or am I doomed for separates?

Great question! When my first daughter was four months old we drove from Boston to Detroit and the trip went really well. Car trips with a baby take just a little advance planning. Hopefully other readers will chime in with their advice, after I get started with these tips: Read more

Many children nurse well into toddlerhood. If a toddler suddenly stops nursing altogether, there are two possible causes: (1) a toddler nursing strike triggered by an illness, teething, or emotional event, or (2) self-weaning. How can you tell the difference, and what can be done to end a toddler nursing strike? Read more

So far in this three-part series I have offered ten tips for helping your baby enjoy solid food. In this last installment, I make some suggestions for what to do when your baby resists eating solids.

Five More Tips for Helping Your Baby with Solid Food Feedings

11. Don’t starve the baby of breast milk in the hope of encouraging solid food intake. I hope that sentence speaks for itself, but in case not, let me explain what I mean. Don’t give in to the unhelpful suggestion or thought that you are feeding the baby too much breast milk and that is the reason the baby shows little interest in solids. People who think that are misguided on a few levels: (1) it’s nearly impossible to feed a baby too much breast milk (you cannot force a baby to nurse when the baby is not interested, and babies self-regulate at the breast whereas milk from a bottle flows freely and it is harder for a bottle-fed baby to control the amount consumed), (2) depriving the baby of milk does not encourage solids but does encourage a cranky, potentially malnourished baby, and (3) there is no rush to get the baby to eat much solid food because breast milk provides the bulk of nutrition through the first year (and in fact some babies thrive on breast milk alone — see the comments section for more discussion on that assertion).

A baby who is resisting solid foods simply might not be ready for any number of reasons. Maybe the gag reflex has not completely gone away. Perhaps your baby is teething or ill and needs some time off from or a delay in starting solids. It’s even possible that your baby knows what is best. I have heard anecdotes about babies who resisted solid food or certain foods in particular and those babies turned out to have one or more food allergies. If you suspect a food allergy, read “A” Is for Allergy Prevention and Reduction.

12. Offer a choice. As I’ve said before, I believe most food issues are about control. If you limit food choices and try to force your baby to eat a particular food, that can backfire to the point that your child severely limits the foods he or she will eat. Give your baby the control by offering a choice at any given meal. “Squash or applesauce?” “Pears or kiwi or both?” Even a six-month-old can indicate a preference for food through facial expressions, sounds, or grabbing for a particular food. The idea is not to prepare two separate meals or to waste food, but to show the baby what’s on offer and to provide the food the baby will actually eat!

Of course, the choice is not “veggies or fast food chicken nuggets.” All of the options you offer should be nutritious. This will become more and more important as the baby becomes older. At my house, a child can choose whether to eat any or all of the fruit, vegetable, grain, and/or meat offered at that particular meal. If the child chooses not to eat any of the items on offer (this has happened two or three times with my four-year-old), then she gets to wait until I finish my meal before I will prepare one other healthful option (usually something unexciting like whole grain cereal and milk). I look at my child’s nutrition over the course of a week and do not worry about any isolated meal.

13. Ease up if it is not going well. Hindsight will often reveal why a baby was refusing a particular food or solids in general. Let your baby rely on the nutrition from breast milk as you slow down the process. Your baby will sense if you become tense or anxious about food. Don’t let your anxiety become contagious! The goal is for your baby to enjoy solid food, not any particular amount of food or any one certain food. Success breeds success, and a baby who has a good experience at meal time will look forward to the next meal. A child who refuses vegetables at one meal just might eat them at the next, and in the end the child quite possibly will eat better if you do not engage in a battle of wills over a certain food. It all comes back to the issue of control.

14. Invite over a peer. If your older baby still does not show much interest in solids or does not eat many different types of food, it can be very helpful to invite over a little friend you know is a good eater! Go on a picnic or have a play date. Talk to the other parent in advance about serving a food the other child will readily eat. When your child sees the other child eating that food, your child might very well want some too!

15. Read up on the subject. If you missed parts one and two of this series, see 5 Tips for Helping Your Baby Enjoy Solid Food and More Tips for Your Baby and Solid Food. If your baby is just starting solid food, check out Starting Your Baby on Solid Foods: When, What and How. For more detailed reading, you might enjoy the following books:

Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron
Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter
My Child Won’t Eat!: How to Prevent and Solve the Problem by Carlos González

What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with my tips? Have you read any of the books I mentioned? Do you have any other books you recommend?

The list of tips for helping your baby enjoy solid food continues today with five more ideas. Stay tuned for the last five tomorrow when I will share some thoughts for what to do when solid food feeding is not going as well as you might hope! Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments section — what have you done and do you agree or disagree with this set of tips so far?

Five More Tips for Helping Your Baby Enjoy Solid Food

6. Set a good example with what you eat. One of the signs of readiness for solid food is that your baby shows interest in what you are eating. The baby’s urge to lunge for your food works in a positive way! At meal time, sit next to your baby or have your baby sit in your lap, and be prepared to share your food (modified as appropriate and safe for the baby). If you are having red beans and rice, squish some beans and let your baby grab them and work on self-feeding, or load a mashed bean onto a baby spoon and help your baby guide the spoon.

Of course, this interest in your food means that if you’re eating a chocolate chip cookie, your baby will want that cookie too. So save the treats for when your baby is napping or has gone to bed.

7. Consider the texture of the food. You are the expert on your baby! Pay close attention and experiment to see whether your child prefers sweet potatoes diluted with a little breast milk, mashed up plain, or cut into tiny bits. At the same time, consider whether your child likes to use a spoon or prefers to pick up the mash or cubes of food with his or her hands. Mix up the routine and have fun with it!

8. Let your baby be in the driver’s seat. Babies have a way of making their preferences and desires quite clear. Let your baby tell you whether meal time is over or it’s time for seconds. Don’t force the issue if your baby simply isn’t interested in solids one day. Teething, an upset tummy, a belly full of milk (not a bad thing!) — all those can suppress your baby’s interest in food at any given meal.

If your baby is clamoring for more food though, then it’s okay to let your baby take the lead, within reason. For example, an entire banana probably isn’t a good idea or you risk constipation. You also want to keep in mind that breast milk is still the baby’s primary source of nutrition and if your baby seems particularly hungry, it could be a growth spurt. Offer more nursing sessions throughout the day, and keep an eye on your milk supply so that the amount of solid foods you are offering does not interfere with your milk supply.

9. Remember that these first feedings are more for learning and less for nutrition. As I mentioned in tip #8, you do not need to worry about getting a certain amount of food into the baby at any given meal. While you want the food you offer to be nutritious, your baby’s nutrition continues to come from your milk. That’s one of the great things about breastfeeding in that for the first year or so, you have the security of knowing your baby is getting a well-balanced meal at your breast! (The nutritional benefits of breastfeeding also continue well beyond the first year. Toddler milk supplies protein, fat, vitamins and antibodies, some in even greater quantities during the second year and beyond!)

10. Eat a wide variety of foods while you are breastfeeding. Believe it or not, the foods you eat flavor the breast milk and help your baby learn to appreciate a wide variety of foods. There is no reason for you to limit yourself to a bland diet while you are breastfeeding. It’s perfectly fine — and beneficial — for you to enjoy spicy and flavorful foods!

If you missed tips 1-5, see 5 Tips to Help Your Baby Enjoy Solid Food.