Post-It Image by Agata Urbaniak

Today I share a guest submission from a woman who does not have a blog but who felt strongly about sharing her breastfeeding wisdom in hindsight. At the end of her comment you can find the links to all the other carnival participants. First, Crystal offers the following insight:

What I wish I had known…to trust myself and my body to do what nature intended…which I am currently doing with breastfeeding my 7 week old twin boys!!!

I am currently a 27 year old mother of 3 beautiful boys. My first born son was breastfed for 18 months and weaned himself at that time. He breastfed with no problems and is as healthy as can be at the age of 4.5. Now I just recently had twin boys at 38 weeks gestation born on August 26th 2009 who are also breastfeeding on-demand. I had mixed feelings about my body making enough milk and having enough support for me to continue breastfeeding….etc. Many people said I wouldn’t be able to do it and even my boys’ pediatrician said I needed to supplement with formula because they were not gaining enough weight.

My twin boys are very healthy and are gaining weight through breastfeeding only. I am not and will not supplement with formula. My midwives said I am making enough milk for both my boys and that they are breastfeeding beautifully. Also they said that my body knows what it needs to do as long as I am eating and drinking enough. I am an experienced mother and I am experienced at breastfeeding. I must trust myself and my body to do what nature intended it to do:

To breastfeed my babies!!!!

I am happy to say that despite having my up and down days with breastfeeding two babies as it is difficult; I am never going to regret or give up on my decision to breastfeed my boys as they are worth it and much more.

Thank you to all the wonderful breastfeeding mothers who gave me advice, support, and encouragement in breastfeeding my singleton and then again in breastfeeding multiples. I believe in myself and in my body to continue breastfeeding my twin boys!!!

Congratulations Crystal and thanks for your submission!

Other Carnival Participants

Sarah Fancy Pancakes: Wish I’d Heard More Good Things
The Milk Mama: When breastfeeding begins badly, and what I should have done about it
Hobo Mama: What I wish I’d known when I started breastfeeding
My World Edenwild: What I Wish I’d Known Then: A Poem
Happy Bambino: I wish I had known then that it wasn’t up to me alone
Three Girl Pile-Up: 4 things I wish I’d known about breastfeeding
Birth Activist: What I Wish I Would Have Known About Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding Moms Unite!: You Don’t Have to Grin and Bear It
Momma’s Angel: What I Wish I’d Known Then: My List For Next Time
The Starr Family Blogg: I Wish I Would Have Known
Whozat: If I’d Known Then
Massachusetts Friends of Midwives: What I wish I’d known back then about breastfeeding
Fighting Frumpy: When Breastfeeding Feels Wrong
Breastfeeding Mums: 15 Breastfeeding Facts I Wish I’d Known as a First Time Breastfeeding Mum
Cave Mother: Nursing Wisdom
Blacktating: Breastfeeding Is Life-Changing
MumUnplugged: Six Things I Wish I’d Known

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Must-have guide if you're tandem nursing or considering it

Please leave a comment as well!

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

When I had my first daughter, I fumbled my way around until I found my parenting style. It happened naturally. I couldn’t stand to hear my baby cry; what mother can? So I breastfed her on cue, wore her in a sling, and co-slept with her in my bed. Those things worked for me, my husband, and my baby. They continued to work for us, and we identified ourselves more and more with an “attachment parenting” philosophy.

'I Told You So' Photo by Marinka van Holten

As my daughter got older and older, the admonitions became more urgent: “She won’t be able to separate from you. She’ll be clingy. You’re holding her back and making her dependent upon you.” Then came the disapproving looks and the stories that weren’t addressed to me but were meant for my ears. The message was clear: “Extended breastfeeding is wrong and you are harming your child.”

Well, let’s fast forward to the end of the story. My first “baby” is now a 7-year-old. She went to preschool after she turned three, and she didn’t shed a tear on the first day of school. I prepared her for the milestone and she separated from me easily. And guess what, she was “still” nursing at that time. I can assure you that her lungs work just fine. She is a happy, social, empathetic child, and I dare say that’s because of — not in spite of — attachment parenting.

As a new mother I was not armed with the information or ability to tell the naysayers that they were wrong. All I could do was listen to my instincts. I’d silently say, “Just you wait and see. The time will come when you realize that my way is not the wrong way. It might not be right for you, but it is right for me and my children.” That time has come, and look at that, I have a blog that lets me say a big fat “I told you so.” I say that “I told you so” not in the hope of reaching those who doubted me, but in the hope of reaching any other mothers who are struggling with naysayers. Listen to your instincts. Not only will you and your child benefit now from breastfeeding, but you will continue to reap the rewards long afterwards, and I won’t blame you one bit if you utter an “I told you so.”

Stay Tuned for Additional Carnival Entries:

Strocel.com: The Story of Hannah’s Weaning
Baby Carriers Down Under: Traveling to Kandy, Sri Lanka
Laura’s Blog: Weaning a Toddler
Stepping off the Spaceship: Life, Death and Nourishment
So Fawned: Sticking with It
Mommy News Blog: How Breastfeeding Changed My Life
All That Sazz: Flying Breast Milk
GrudgeMom: Breastfeeding Failures and Success
Massachusetts Friends of Midwives: Ben’s Story, The Best Breastfeeding Advice from the Least Likely Source
BreastfeedingMums: Breastfeeding Made Me the Mother I Am
Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog: “They Said the Latch Was Fine”
Chronicles of a Nursing Mom: Breastfeeding Is Not Easy
Breastfeeding Moms Unite: Can Early Public Breastfeeding Sightings Shape One’s Future Breastfeeding Practices?
The Towells: Breastfeeding after Breast Reduction
Zen_Mommy: Celebrating . . . My Chest!
Blacktating: Nursing in Public
Crystal Gold: A Found Memory

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Photo by "best love poem, until we can do better"

I love that the mother is feeding those tiny newborns at the same time; I love that this picture is from the 1980s! It is hard enough to find support for breastfeeding, much less breastfeeding multiples, and this mother clearly made it work for her and her babies!

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

La Leche League spokeswoman Jane Crouse applauded Angelina:

Breast-feeding in public reveals a whole lot less than what has been revealed on the red carpet. … I think we do need more role models like Angelina Jolie willing to be photographed and say, ‘Hey look, it can be done, it oughta be done.

I applaud her too! Not only is she breastfeeding twins, she’s also willing to talk about it and share such a lovely picture. How precious are those tiny fingers at the breast?!

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

A newspaper in Chengdu, the capital of quake-hit Sichuan province, devoted a special page to the 29-year-old woman, calling her a “hero.”

The woman from the quake-ravaged town of Jiangyou has just had a child herself, the Western Urban Daily said.

She is nursing the children of three women who were left homeless by the quake and are too traumatised to give milk, as well as five orphans, the report said.

The babies who lost their parents have been put in an orphanage which does not have powdered milk, it said.

Amazing what a life-saver breastfeeding can be in an emergency, and how wonderful that this woman has stepped in to help so many infants! It’s a testimony to the human spirit, not to mention the breast milk production function of supply and demand and the ability of a woman to breastfeed multiples!

For more information on breastfeeding during a crisis, see Infant Feeding during an Emergency.

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Dear Angela,

I have a friend who is on bed rest and will probably have premature multiples. I gently asked whether she plans to breastfeed and she responded with comments about how she isn’t sure but she’s sick of strong pressure from very pro-breastfeeding women. She says she’ll commit to at least 4 weeks of “trying,” but I could already hear excuses in her explanation, such as “I’m really tiny and I don’t think my body will produce enough”, and “I’ve heard they actually don’t want you to breastfeed premies because the babies don’t get all the nutrients they need, plus they can have trouble latching on.” She also says she’s having a night-nurse and that formula will be easiest for that situation. She also constantly comments on how she hates that she’s gained weight and is worried about getting “much bigger” during her pregnancy. I do know that she wants to do what is best for her babies, and I want to help her get her past her body issues that might be keeping her from focusing on what she needs to do. Any advice on what to say to give her the best advice without seeming to pressure or judge her?

Thanks for your expertise!

Readers, please chime in and leave a comment with your thoughts on how to reassure a pregnant woman about her ability to breastfeed. Any mothers of multiples and/or premature infants out there? I’d love to hear from you on this one.

I do have several thoughts to get the discussion started. I will break this complex question down into various issues that have been raised.

Information versus Advice

It is lovely that you want the best for your friend and her babies, and I am glad that you are trying to be sensitive to her feelings. One way to help her without pressuring her or judging her is to focus on sharing information rather than advice.

While breastfeeding cannot be considered a religion, or, heaven forbid (pun intended), a cult, bear with me while I make an analogy. Which person is going to have more success: (1) the one who gives someone a cross and says “You should pray! If you’re not religious, you are subject to eternal damnation!” ["You should breastfeed! If you don't, your babies will be sicker!"], or (2) the one who gives someone a Bible and says, “This really helped me. You might find it interesting” ["I found this parenting and breastfeeding resource to be really helpful. I thought you might like to have it"]? What about (3) the one who says, “I can’t believe you don’t plan to go to church on Sunday!” ["You're going to formula-feed?!"] compared to (4) the one who says, “The service on Sunday is about a topic you might like. I can give you a ride if you want to join me”? ["I know you have questions about milk supply, breastfeeding twins and breastfeeding premature infants. Here's the phone number for free breastfeeding information and support." Or, "I attend a La Leche League meeting each month. Let me know if you want to join me!"]

Contrary to popular belief, La Leche League leaders are trained to give information rather than advice. Leaders are there to support women who want to breastfeed, not to convert women who have no desire to so. Breastfeeding is a personal decision. Giving a pregnant woman factual information empowers her with the tools to make her own informed choice. Lactation consultants are also invaluable resources for information and support (and sometimes it can be easier for women to process the information when they are paying for the service — they’ve paid their money for the information and now it’s theirs to do with as they decide).

Breastfeeding after Infertility

The question does not mention whether this pregnant mother conceived through infertility treatments or not, but as someone who experienced primary infertility, I can recognize the self-doubt that sometimes comes into play. It’s hard to trust your body to do what it is meant to do (make breast milk to feed babies) when your body “failed” you when it came to getting pregnant in the first place. Add to that a need for bed rest, and it’s no wonder this woman is worried about her body producing enough milk.

A 2007 study showed that women who use assisted reproductive technology such as IVF to conceive are less confident about their mothering skills, more anxious about caring for a newborn and less likely to be breastfeeding at three months. Such women could benefit from additional parenting information and extra support for breastfeeding.

Small Breasts Make Plenty of Milk

The size of a woman’s breasts does not matter when it comes to milk production. Milk production is simply a matter of supply and demand (the more a baby or babies suckle at the breast, the more the mother will produce). Breast size can affect milk storage capacity (but not necessarily).

Milk supply is one of the biggest concerns among breastfeeding women.

Using Formula in the Night

Given that milk production is a matter of supply and demand, any feeding during which a baby or babies receive formula is a feeding during which the breasts are not being stimulated to produce milk, which in turn lowers the mother’s milk supply. Overnight feedings are particularly important for milk production. Substituting feedings for “convenience” in the night can become a vicious cycle in which the mother’s milk supply drops and she feels the need for further supplementation. Especially in the early weeks, if a mother is not putting a baby to the breast for a feeding, she should consider pumping during that time. Pumping is not as efficient as a baby’s suckling, but it can help maintain milk supply.

Breastfeeding May Help Promote Healthy Weight Loss

The good news is that breastfeeding burns extra calories! Many, but not all, women find that breastfeeding helps contribute to post-partum weight loss.

Breastfeeding Premature Infants

It’s troubling that this pregnant mother is already hearing negative things from medical professionals about breastfeeding. Unfortunately, doctors get very little (1-2 hours) of training on breastfeeding during their medical education. Check out this piece I wrote on how to get good medical advice on breastfeeding (it also has links for other articles on where to get good breastfeeding information). There is a lot of good information out there on breastfeeding premature infants.

To ask questions or read other mothers’ stories, check out this kellymom.com breastfeeding forum on NICU babies. La Leche League also has a forum on breastfeeding premature infants.

For inspiration, read this mother’s story of breastfeeding her triplets, born at 32 weeks and 4 days (they spent 18 days in the NICU).

Breastfeeding Twins

It is a myth that breastfeeding twins is too difficult to manage. One of the wonderful parenting and breastfeeding resources out there is Mothering Multiples: Breastfeeding and Caring for Twins or More! In this interview with the author Karen Kerkhoff Gromada, she shares her experience breastfeeding twins and offers lots of helpful information.

Kellymom.com has compiled a fantastic list of resources for breastfeeding multiples. There is also a La Leche League forum on breastfeeding multiples.

Readers, what do you think? How can this woman best support her pregnant friend? Does anyone have a story to share about breastfeeding multiples or premature infants?

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

3. The National Breastfeeding Helpline will be available in England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland.

4. The National Breastfeeding Helpline is staffed by trained volunteer mothers from the Breastfeeding Network and the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers who have all breastfed themselves, and who take calls in their own homes. Calls will be charged at 5p per minute from BT lines plus a 3p call set up charge from BT residential lines. Mobiles and other providers’ charges may vary. The lines will be open from 9.30am -9.30pm. The volunteers will answer when they can so if you don’t get through first time please try again later.

The United States has a similar toll-free telephone helpline staffed by La Leche League.

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

B123: What are some of the significant changes and additions you made to this revised edition?

KKG: Hmm, there have been revisions to just about everything – every chapter includes some changes and updates. Amazing how the science of lactation and “standard” practices can change in a few years. And I’m always learning new things or new thinking from the mothers of twins and triplets (MOT/T) in our Cincinnati La Leche League (LLL) Multiples group and from MOT/T in online groups to which I belong. The section on preterm babies has been expanded as have chapters on nighttime mothering, partial breastfeeding, and fussy babies. The chapter on fussy babies includes more about GERD, lactose overload, sensory integration, etc. Finally, key points for each chapter have now been added at the end of the chapter, so the busy MOT/T can easily find the nitty-gritty when there is not enough time to read more!

B123: Tell us a little about your experience mothering multiples.

KKG: My monozygotic (identical) sons were our 3rd and 4th children. Their older sister was 5 and their older brother was 3 within a couple of weeks of their birth. My husband was a medical resident then, so I was on my own a lot. He was “on call,” meaning he was at the hospital from 7 a.m., through the night, to 5 p.m. the next evening every 3rd day; every 3rd weekend he’d leave Friday at 7 a.m. and return Monday evening.

I was lucky because I carried the boys to 40 weeks, 5 days gestation – almost unheard of today. A (Tony) weighed 6 lbs. 6 oz. and B (Joey) weighed 7 lbs. 11 oz. – 14 lbs. 1 oz. total. They roomed in from birth and were fully breastfed their first 6.5 months – usually gaining 2-3 pounds per month. Because of latching issues, it took 2-3 months before we got the hang of simultaneous nursing. But once we all figured it out, almost all daytime feeds were simultaneous because they usually wanted to eat at the same time. Lucky me – they usually woke on alternate hours during the night. We had a crib in our room and I played musical beds, rotating the one who woke to nurse with the sleeping one I’d drifted off with while breastfeeding an hour or so earlier.

Breastfeeding was the easiest part of mothering my twins! (I honestly cannot even imagine the work involved in feeding multiples any other way! Breastfeeding may take a bit longer for babies and mother to learn, but once learned it is sooo easy!) My sons were high-need babies, needing lots of contact. We lived in our rocking chair. But I felt lots of guilt about my older two children, whose lives changed so quickly, and about the babies because I couldn’t always meet one or the other’s needs as quickly as I had with my singletons….

I won’t even go into toddlerhood, which I thought was the most difficult period because of all they constantly got into – when they weren’t pushing, biting, or punching each other! But there’s a reason for the last few chapters in Mothering Multiples, and it isn’t because I’m the only MOT who found this a difficult phase!

B123: What bit of parenting or breastfeeding wisdom have you learned in your work with mothers of multiples that mothers of singletons might find helpful too?

KKG: Lots of bits. My LLL co-leader and I may do a presentation on this very topic this summer. Perhaps the most important thing is that some/partial breastfeeding truly is better than no breastfeeding – and that partial breastfeeding can work but it still has to work within principles of lactation physiology.

B123: What’s your top tip for breastfeeding multiples? What’s your favorite piece of mothering advice?

KKG: No fair asking for a “top tip” – but I guess it would be to hang in and keep breastfeeding (or pumping if both are preterm/near-term or either has difficulty). Unless a baby has an underlying physical problem, tincture of time, skin-to-skin mother-baby contact and a realistic method for supplementing that reinforces breastfeeding oral behaviors almost always leads to effective breastfeeding for all babies. It IS worth it – although it may be difficult to believe that when stuck in the middle of it!

B123: Is there a particular product (breast pump, nursing pillow) etc. that you routinely recommend to mothers of multiples?

KKG: LOL, mothers have been breastfeeding multiples for tens of thousands of years without today’s equipment. Today, everyone is convinced they need fancy-dancy equipment to breastfeed. I never pumped but occasionally hand expressed so I’d have “relief” milk in the fridge. Nursing pillows weren’t around 2-3 decades ago – yet we survived! So no, there isn’t a particular product I recommend. However, for babies who are preterm or near-term and not yet able to effectively breastfeed (remove milk from breast to GI system), I highly recommend an appropriate pump — an appropriate pump for this situation is a rental (let me repeat – rental), hospital-grade, electric, self-cycling breast pump that is used at least 8 times in 24 hours. If using a nursing pillow, a mother will get more for her money if she gets one that can be used for breastfeeding one or two at once. To breastfeed two most MOT/T suggest using a pillow with a wider and deeper “shelf” all the way around side-to-side, e.g. the EZ-2-Nurse.

B123: In your work as a La Leche League Leader and lactation consultant you’ve counseled thousands of mothers of multiples. What advice can you give to other breastfeeding counselors who have mothers of multiples come to them for help? Are there some key points to keep in mind when helping a mother of multiples?

KKG: Women breastfeeding twins or more deserve the best possible start, but they’re the least likely to get it. In addition to the increased likelihood of preterm/near-term birth, mothers are more likely to be affected by pregnancy or birth complications. Breastfeeding counselors of any kind often underestimate the impact of transitioning two or more preterm/near-term newborns to breast while still caring for them otherwise and recuperating from a more complicated pregnancy and birth. Helping strategies need to take into consideration the total situation. Strategies that make more sense for a woman with a single infant may overwhelm the mother with multiple newborns. Don’t lose long-term breastfeeding because of bias toward unrealistic (for MOT) interventions. (I’ve also found that strategies that work for MOT/T also tend to work for breastfeeding difficulties with singletons!)

B123: I’m assuming you’ve counseled some women who conceived multiples through advanced reproductive technology. I had a woman tell me that her reproductive specialist warned her she’d have trouble breastfeeding (why a doctor would sabotage a mother that way I don’t know). A recent study also indicated that mothers who conceived through IVF (whether or not they conceived multiples) need extra breastfeeding support. What are your thoughts on that? Are you aware of any data about assisted reproduction and breastfeeding success?

KKG: Probably most of the MOT/T I’m in contact with have been through fertility treatment. Most of these moms do great with pumping/breastfeeding IF pumping eight or more times in 24 hours, or babies are allowed to feed “on cue” vs. feed based on some ambiguous schedule. (Many organizations for parents of multiples seem to “push” more rigid scheduling instead of accepting that babies are babies no matter how many arrive at one time.) Inadequate milk removal, especially a concern in the first several weeks when lactation is being established, still leads as the top reason for insufficient production. There’s a perception that needing help to conceive means breastfeeding/lactation will be problematic, but that’s not necessarily so. The hormones that support conception are different than those that support lactation.

One condition that’s associated with fertility issues and insufficient lactation probably is polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). Addressing some aspects of that condition often improves milk production. Thyroid conditions can also affect fertility and milk production.

Multiples are two, three, more times the usual number of babies no matter how they were conceived, but parents who were “blessed” with multiples via fertility treatment often believe they aren’t “allowed” to feel overwhelmed, negative, etc. when babies’ care is 24/7.

B123: Thanks for taking the time to speak with Breastfeeding 1-2-3! Is there anything else you’d like to share?

KKG: Breastfeeding multiples is not always easy but it’s always worthwhile. And once you’ve hung in and breastfed multiples, you know you can do anything (if you want and put your mind to it)!

I try to always be available to MOT/T via phone, email (kgromada@fuse.net), etc. and I’m a member of the Yahoo group AP Multiples as well as check LLLI’s mother-to-mother forums for mothers breastfeeding multiples. There are links to these groups in addition to FAQ, photos, articles, etc. via my web site: www.karengromada.com.

Beyond that there’s tons to share – so many tidbits, so little time or space! Heck, I can talk on this topic for hours – and probably days! Speaking of speaking, I love to do so! Info is available on my page at the LactSpeak site: http://lactspeak.com/speakers/KarenGromada/.

Thanks for having me here!

B123: Thanks again Karen! For more discussion of breastfeeding multiples, click here.

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Post from: Breastfeeding 1-2-3